You Never Stop Being a Parent, Even When They Leave

The Kiddo™ moved out back in 2021, and has been living her best life in the frozen North ever since. She's had some rough patches - I think we all had some rough patches when we were just starting out, right? But she hit a nasty rough patch a few months ago, and it really sunk in for us that you never stop being a parent, even when they grow up and leave your house. 

I got a phone call the day after my birthday... A trembling, crying, snot-filled voice asked, Mommy, can I come home? Oh, how does your heart not break when you hear that pain in your child's voice??? 

The very first thing I said was of course! followed by what's happening, what's wrong? Between the tears and the snot-sucking, and the deep sighs, I was able to put together that her two roommates had been slowly and secretly moving out over the past few months! Her two roommates were partners, and one of them was going to college. Because that campus was a little bit of a distance away, and they had a shitty car, they would often bunk with some other friends for a few days and come back to the main apartment on the weekends. Because The Kiddo works part-time, mid-shift (after lunch until 10pm or so), much of this secretive moving was happening while she was at work. Finally, a few weeks ago, they came out and admitted that they were moving out for good, and that they'd try (try?!) to help The Kiddo pay all the bills and make the transition easy for her. 

Yeah, that didn't happen. 

And so she was unable to pay all of the $1000 rent due on September 1st. Late fees piled on for three days ($10/day), and on September 4th, the landlord sent her a Notice to Vacate, giving her five days to either pay the remaining rent get out. We started talking about how we could possibly pay her rent for this month, and then what we'd need to do to get us up there to pack her up and move her back to Florida. 

So while I was on the phone, Hubby was next to me on his tablet looking up as much info as we could find. First and foremost, Wisconsin law states that this five days' notice did not include weekends, so The Kiddo had until September 10th to comply, or eviction processes would begin... She wouldn't be kicked out at that point, but only that legal steps would begin. Okay, so a little breathing room. Dangerously shaky breathing room, but some breathing room nonetheless. She had a paycheck coming on September 9th, but not enough to cover all of the rent. Next up, Hubby was googling all sorts of things like United Way, 211, food stamps, rental assistance, etc, and I was giving her all sorts of suggestions to look for (including the places above). Overwhelming her, I'm sure, but lots of go look for this or go look for that suggestions. We talked for an hour and then she had to go back to work. Once we were off the phone I shared all of this information with her via a Google Keep note, including all links we found, so that she could access them when she got out of bed the next day. 

We cleaned up dinner (that neither of us ate very much of) and went to bed. My brain was still going a mile a minute, and I'm looking up prices of U-Hauls, rental cars, flights, etc. Hubby came to bed and we snuggled for a few minutes and I just lost it, like big, ugly, juicy sobbing. With everything else that's going on, WHY!? Why NOW?!? I just blubbered over and over, I'm so tired, I'm so fucking tired, I just can't anymore... But once that passed, Cold & Calculating Me came back on-line and we started making plans on an Emergency Road Trip to Wisconsin. How to afford to do this. When to do this. Would we need to, in turn, call my mommy for help (she'd help in a heartbeat, I know she would). Over the next few days I came up with the bones of a plan. We'd rent a huge SUV (like a Suburban) and drive up to Wisconsin, pack up her shit, and move her home. U-Hauls would carry her stuff but not 3 people. Cars would carry 3 people but not her stuff. I really didn't want to spend $1000 on a trailer hitch that I'd never use again, just to rent a U-Haul trailer. And I didn't want to drop way too much money on airline tickets (I think the cheapest I could find from our home airport was $1200) and still have to rent an SUV to drive home. We'd have to go the last weekend of September to accommodate a work conference I needed to attend. We'd need to work our asses off the next three weeks to clean out her room (that had become The Room Where Stuff Goes to Die, like a junk room). 

A week later, we had a phone call to touch base with her, and I was so proud of her, hearing how she was taking charge of the situation! She'd reached out to a lot of resources, and even though they couldn't help (do safety net entitlements really ever help the people they should help?), we at least knew they weren't an option and could cross them off the list. She'd taken a lot of initiative and I could hear some new-found confidence in her voice. She listed the now-vacant room on a few roommate-finder websites and had a possible roomie coming in November - that won't help the we need to pay rent in October situation, but will help after that. She was adamant that she wanted to stay in Wisconsin, instead of moving back to Florida, so we shifted our focus on getting her home, to getting her stable. 

The following week, with another check-in call, she asked if it were possible that we could help with half of her rent to get her through October 31. She'd been working hard to secure that roommate (still ETA November). She was able to get her employer to bring her up to Full Time hours, so she'll be making twice as much per month. She also worked with the horrible roommates to get the internet and electric services swapped over to her name (without swapping over any of their overdue balances!), and she got her new Wisconsin state ID (yes, she'd been in WI for three years with an expired Florida ID, yeesh). At risk of jinxing it, it's starting to feel like she's going to be standing back up on her own soon (knock on wood!), hopefully by the end of the year. 

At the beginning of October, we paid half of her rent, which was definitely painful for our bank account, too, and honestly, I'm still reeling from paying out about $2000 over the past few months, when we're not having a whole lot coming IN (thanks to Hubby being out sick so much)... At our check-in call, she said she felt like she was slowly getting a hold on the situation. She ran some numbers and realized that her new full-time paycheck will cover so much more, and she may be able to stay in the apartment without a roommate! Now, granted, she neglected to add in the non-bills, but her rent, electric, internet, and phone would only be around $1500 a month, and she should be bringing in about $2000, which will leave her $500 for groceries, bus fare, Ubers, etc. 

So at this point, at the end of October, she called us last night for one more check-in, and she sounded so much lighter! There was no stress in her voice, she sounded almost happy... Like, she knows that there's still a bit of a hill to climb, to pay us back and save extra, and figure out how to live as a single woman without roommates (the November roommate may not be happening now). She's also thinking that she wants to move once winter is over; she doesn't like where she is (never has, really), and thinks that having a roommate will allow her to save a bunch of money (better to pay $500/month rent than $1000/month!). That's something to worry about in the Spring, I suppose. 

But for right now, my baby is safe and secure. She's not surrounded by shitty roommates who are rude and lazy and selfish and possibly mental. She can focus on living her life the way she wants to live it, maybe discover who she is and who she wants to be, out from under the stressful conditions she was living in previously. 

I'm so proud of her. My daughter from 10 years ago would never have been strong enough to do the work, face the hard times, and make the difficult decisions that this daughter has. She's grown into a capable adult who knows how to rise above a flood and fix things. It's truly amazing to see years and years of difficult parenting result in a wonderful human like her. 

Y'all, go hug your kids today. Especially if they're tweens and teens... those are some hard years to parent, and hard years to show affection. Hug them. Laugh with them. Tell them they're awesome. Small things like this now will yield amazing results down the road. 

The Saga of the Chronic Kidney Disease... and some Abdominal Pain (Part 6 - October 2024)

If you've missed any parts of this saga, you can catch up with the links below:

Part 1 (April & May)

Part 2 (June)

Plus   (Baby's First Coloscopy)

Part 3 (July)

Part 4 (August)

Part 5 (September)

Hello, and welcome to Month Six of trying to nail down causes for Hubby's Left Lower Quadrant pain (LLQ) and Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD2). 

When typing up a previous month's post, I needed to look up the type of magnesium he was taking for his insomnia, and there just happened to be a Google result about magnesium saying that low magnesium levels - hypomagnesemia - could result in muscle pain, which may be a reason for that mysterious LLQ. I asked Dr. L to add a test for mag levels in his next round of labs. 

He was supposed to return for a follow-up with the Urologist on October 7th (which had already been rescheduled from October 4th, since we were supposed to be out of town), but we were also out of town on the 7th. I called them Friday morning, but only got their voice mail, so I left a voice mail that we needed to reschedule... As of today (the day before Halloween), we never received a call-back to reschedule the appointment, so frankly, we're just gonna let it go. It's highly unlikely that any of his problems are urology-related, so why bother dropping a $75 copay to be told nope, nothing wrong with you here. We got the result of the FISH test, which was negative for any cancer. The cytology report from his Peeper View was negative for urothelial carcinoma. Benign urothelial and squamous cells present. Red blood cells, crystals, and polymorphonuclear leukocytes {white blood cells that fight infection and inflammation} were present. 

The following week, he got his lab work done, and unfortunately (well, fortunately), his magnesium levels are fine, so it doesn't look like hypomagnesemia is an issue. Normal mag levels are between 1.5 and 2.8 milligrams per deciliter, and he's almost right in the middle at 2.0 mg/DL. 

Everything else was relatively steady - no drastic changes. His eGFR (Estimated Glomerular Filtration Rate) is bouncing a little bit. An eGFR is a test that measures the level of kidney function and determines the state of Kidney Disease. It is calculated from the results of a blood creatinine test, in conjunction with age, body size, and gender. 

The lower the eGFR, the worse your kidneys are functioning, and there is risk for Chronic Kidney Disease to progress to Kidney Failure. Right now, Hubby is in the low end (high end?) of Stage 2, kidney damage with mild loss of function, with 60-89% of kidney function.  Once you get to less than 15% eGFR, you are in active Kidney Failure, and that's when things like Dialysis and Transplant come in. It is important to remember that eGFR does decline with age, so a low eGFR in an older person doesn't always mean CKD. But hubby's only 50... he's not "an older person" quite yet. 

Things got a little testy at his October follow-up on the 22nd though. She reviewed all of his labs. His eGFR went up a smidge, to 66% (they've been between 71% in May 2023 and 61% in September 2024). eFGR can't really be fixed... Diet and exercise won't cure him and bring him back up to 100%. But things can be done to to slow down the damage, or stop it altogether. Diet, exercise, medications, lowering blood pressure, etc. Dr. L shared the results of the Natera DNA test - he is genetically predisposed to Cystinuria, a rare condition in which stones made from an amino acid called Cystine form in the kidneys, ureter, or bladder. Cystine is formed when to molecules of this acid are bound together. This condition is passed down through families, inheriting the variant from both parents. About 1/7000 people have Cystinuria. Most peoples' bodies simply deal with the cystine, but those with Cystinuria will deal with build-up that creates crystals or Cystine Stones. Some people experience Flank Pain in the side or back, often on one side. Pain could be felt in the pelvis, groin, genitals, or between the upper abdomen and back. To keep those stones from forming, you should drink 6-8 glasses of water a day, including at night (to pee at night to keep the pipes clean). Making the urine more alkaline may help to dissolve crystals, which can be done via potassium citrate or sodium bicarbonate {eating less salt can also help}. This is a chronic, lifelong condition, and without any treatment or diet changes, these crystals or stones commonly return. Chronic Kidney Disease is a possible complication of Cystinuria.

Dr. L doesn't think that the Cystinuria is solely responsible for the CKD, but it's good to know. Because of the lack of "good news" in the gene panel, she stated that the next step needs to be a Kidney Biopsy. And as soon as she said that, I could see Hubby just shut down. His body language completely changed, crossing his arms, crossing his ankles, tucking his neck down, clenching his jaw, and just shaking his head. I don't understand why this is such a No-Go for him, especially after all of the other things he's dealt with in the past few months. Is it a needle thing? Is it a pain thing? I don't know... I'm hopeful that I can talk him in to it, but he put up a stone wall and there's no way to break through to this obstinate SOB when he gets like that. I love him, but when he digs in, he DIGS IN.  

I asked Dr. L if we could simply maintain for six months and see what happens, like... let's not do follow-ups every month, let's not continue to throw biopsy around, let's just live our life for the next few months and see what happens. My plan is to do all the other stuff (that we already should have been doing, to be honest): change up the diet, increase exercise, get him to drink more water, etc. She tried to plead her case with him, reviewing all of his labs and explaining why it's important, what will happen if his eGFR gets too low, but he wasn't having any of it. 

So for right now, we're going to put the idea of a biopsy on the shelf for the rest of the year, and we'll work on all the other things, which frankly will be harder to deal with! Lord I have a fight in front of me, but I'm going to get him to take his meds daily, check his blood pressure twice a week, get him taking a walk at least once a week (hopefully more), get a better diet, and get him to drink two bottles of water per day. It's gonna suck, and I'm going to get extremely frustrated with him, but I'm out of options. He's decided that his health isn't a priority, but I'm not ready to give up. By the end of the visit I was so fucking frustrated, I just shut down... I had tears in my eyes as we walked back to the car. He ended up behind me, and I don't know if that's because he was having some emotions to deal with, or if it was because I was just so shut down that I was walking faster than I normally did. Either way was fine with me, he didn't need to see my tears. 

We picked up lunch at Chick-fil-A and brought it home with us, not saying much during the drive, or at home either. Usually, he'll come in to my office every so often for a visit hug, but I think he only came around once. I didn't make dinner, since I was still full from CFA, but make a little plate of cheese and crackers and took it to bed with me early. I zoned out and binged Hulu for hours, hoping to shut off my brain and fall asleep, but no such luck. When I finally turned off the TV around 11:30, my brain went right to the What If... scenarios, and I lost it and just cried. Around midnight, I curled up with X for a while, hoping it would numb my brain and make me sleepy, but still no luck. After about a half-hour I put my tablet away, and I think I probably fell asleep around 2am. 

The next morning, October 23rd, I'm still frustrated and emotional and sad and pissed, but I guess I now have a mission. I need to create a plan for him to follow to get all of that diet/exercise/med stuff done. And I'm probably gonna have to be a bitch about it. And he's gonna push back because he's obstinate. And we're gonna yell at each other because we're emotional. And we're gonna both have hurt feelings because we love each other. But I don't fucking care. Because I have to care for both of us, since he doesn't give a shit about his health. I mean, if his eGFR dropped from 71 in May of 2023, to 66 in October 2024, he'll be in dialysis by 2034. 

So, at this point, I think I'm going to put a pause on the monthly updates, unless something crazy happens. We set up a three-month follow up with Dr. L for January to see what's happening, and I'll check in with you guys at that point to let you know what's happening. I'm hopeful that in that time, he'll at least have a normal blood pressure, and no loss of eGFR. 

Gotta Get Away - Quick Staycation in Ocala

The end of September has really sucked. The whole year, really, but especially the past month. The Kiddo™ is having some financial issues up in Wisconsin. We're having some financial issues down here. The Hubby™ is having health issues. And to top it off, the cool work conference I was supposed to go to was cancelled because of Hurricane Helene! Yes, I know that there are many, many people out there struggling because of that storm (and the... lack of support... after the fact). I'm just talking about how much it sucks on a personal level. 

When I told Hubby that the conference was cancelled, he said that we should go somewhere anyway to just forget about all of the bullshit; we kicked the idea around a while, but nothing really grabbed me. I looked around Central Florida (north of Orlando), Ocala, Crystal River, etc... but what was there to DO? I found a few fun things like hiking trails, kayaking, and river tubing. I ended up booking a hotel in Ocala on Friday night, for the weekend. I needed to stay in town for parkrun the following day (we were expecting a large crowd) and then we could drive down to Ocala. 

We drove down around lunch time and ate way too much fried food at Long John's, then checked in to our hotel. I gotta commend LJS here... We ordered one meal (plus some extra shrimp) and two beverages, and they were nice enough to give us an extra plate so we didn't have to both eat off of one plate. Anyway, we chilled out for a while at the hotel and then headed over to the Marion County Fall Festival. 

Bless his heart, he tried. When we were looking for things to do in the area, Hubby found a few things, like Oktoberfest at the World Equestrian Center, and this fall festival. I'm a huge fan of fall festivals. I can walk around and look at stuff all day long. So I was up for it. 

This wasn't it. 

Apparently this was a fall festival put on by the municipal Parks & Rec department, mostly for kids. We didn't have to, but we brought some canned goods to donate, and then headed inside. Even at 6pm (the event was 5p to 9p), it was full of kiddos; mostly in street clothes, some in costumes. There were tons of bouncy houses inside one of the pavilions, so I had hopes that this would be a good festival. Outside, before the Trick or Treat Trail, there was a large area full of food trucks, but alas... no elephant ears, fried dough, or funnel cakes to be found. Womp womp. 

The Treat Trail was badly designed; each candy stop was also a table for a vendor, and many tables were so overrun with kiddos that I (as an adult) couldn't visit the table to talk to the vendor. Plus, all tables had the same really crappy candy... Even as a kid, I'd be pissed off to get no-name candy, candy bracelets, and generic SweeTarts. We walked all the way to the end of the trail and back, and by the time we got back, the line for the Haunted Stalls (it was held at a livestock pavilion, so cute tie-in there) was probably 100+ people deep, and it didn't start until 7. Part of me wanted to stick around and see how "haunted" they really were, but the line was mostly teenagers, and I have no patience for teenagers who think they're cooler than everyone else. I'll say this, I commend the Parks department for putting on a nice event for kids and providing some affordable fun for everyone. It was a little janky, with some employees in sad Spirit Halloween leftovers, and I wish it was advertised as being more for kids than a true "Fall Festival," but in the end, it was a nice event for the entire community, and I hope they keep it going. 

So we headed out and planned to head back to the hotel, but we decided to just go on an adventure instead. Don't know what prompted it, but we got on US-441 and went south, just to see what was down there. We went through a town I'd never heard of called Santos (very interesting read, by the way), and then down to Bellview before I decided to turn around. Oh, but what is that in the distance? I see neon! It says ice cream! Huh... gonna just tuck that nugget of info away for later. 

Back at the hotel, we chilled for another hour because we're old, and then headed to see Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice at the Ocala Drive-In Theater - YES you read that right... the Ocala Drive-In Theater. We paid $22 for two tickets and a $10 food voucher - the voucher is mandatory, and the sneaky way they can keep movie tickets at $6 a pop! (But hell, even $11 a pop really isn't that bad either!). We used our voucher (and a little extra) for popcorn, a pretzel with cheese, and an order of nachos. 

Now, I haven't been to a drive-in movie in probably 35 years... the last movie I remember seeing was at The Mustang Drive-In, a double-feature of All of Me (Steve Martin & Lily Tomlin) and... something else. Gah, age sucks. But I remember the swing set up near the screen, and the speaker boxes on poles, and running up to the concession stand before and between movies. When life was simpler and easier, and your parents could make out in the car while you sat outside in those folding webbed patio chairs. 

Did this drive-in experience live up to my memories? Yeah... kinda. When you're sitting in the dark at 10pm at night with nobody's headlights or brake lights on, it's really dark. So when a latecomer comes in and blasts you with their headlights, it's a little distracting and annoying. I think we dealt with that 4-5 times. These days, the movie's audio is delivered through the radio, which was great, because we could turn it way up for that "bust your eardrums" theater experience. But the windows kept fogging up, I didn't have anywhere useful to put my trash, and I was kind of cramped in my seat. Would I go to another drive-in movie anytime soon? Oh, hell yeah. Maybe an earlier one though... we didn't get into bed until almost 2am! 

On Sunday, I awoke to a warm and cuddly husband, and we didn't get out of bed until almost 1pm. It was rainy outside (sprinkles, but not full-on rain). We had a lovely lunch at Harry's Seafood Bar & Grill, then walked next door to pick up some drinks at Grandpa Joe's. As we waddled back the car, bellies full of seafood and chicken, he looked at me and said, wanna go get some ice cream from that neon place? Uh, yeah! 

On our way there, hubby (who used to live in the area) got us playing the Where does this road go? game. He said that he had a vague recollection of his mom and/or aunt driving that way when they were little, but had no idea of why they'd go there. We never found anything that looked familiar to him, so we turned around after a twenty minutes or so and came back. Just now, I looked it up on Google Maps, and we were literally 10 minutes away from the ice cream place when we turned around!

We started at the top, came down to Mercado, went back north, then took 301 south to Ms Steve's

So after taking the scenic route to Ms. Steve's, we first stopped at Wawa for drinks, and then got treats - he got a Root Beer Milkshake, and I got a small hot caramel sundae with whipped cream. I lost my receipt, but I think both of them together were about $12 or so. We went back over to Wawa's parking lot to enjoy our treats in the car. I didn't get a photo of his milkshake, but the sundae was a glorious sight to behold! Slathered in real whipped cream (not whipped topping) and gooey caramel, so full that it was a single breath away from overflowing onto my hand. It was a real race to eat enough, quickly enough, so that it wouldn't melt all over me. I think Hubby took more pleasure from watching me devour it (yes, I ate the whole thing), than he did drinking his own milkshake! 

This photo doesn't do it justice!

As we ate, the rain became more and more substantial, so there was no hope of heading to a nice trail, or talking him into kayaking, so we just headed back to the hotel. I treated myself to a hot bath, and then curled up with my tablet to read all about newly formed Hurricane Milton and what his plans were for the state of Florida. 

On Monday, we slept in until about 10am (for once, he was awake before me), packed up and checked out. It's still raining, so again, no hope of a trail or kayak trip. I wanted to hit up Tas-T-O Donuts, but they were already sold out and closed by the time we got there at 11. We went over to Silver Springs Diner for brunch, the diner that I took Mom to for a Girl's Day Out a few months ago. It wasn't nearly as good as I remember it being, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt... There was just a hurricane a week or so ago, so maybe they were having problems getting shipments of food. Maybe there were staffing issues. Yelp reviews said that new owners too over this summer, so maybe that was it... I'll probably give them one more chance and see. I got pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and they were just okay. The pancakes were flat, the bacon was too crispy for my liking. Hubby got a Club Sandwich, and it was stuffed with meat, so his meal was definitely better than mine. 

We hopped over to Sam's Club to pick up a few things (basically, so I wouldn't have to do it as a separate trip). When we pulled in, we saw that the gas station portion of Sam's was barricaded off, with an employee waving everyone past. I didn't think anything of it and we went in to get soda, chips, and a package of chicken to tide us over until next payday. Afterward, I wanted to pick up a soda at Circle K before we got on the road. Outside, I finally removed my vacation blinders and realized that the gas pumps were stacked 2-3 cars deep at every pump, and State Road 200 was bumper-to-bumper, with the interstate entrance and exit ramps completely clogged. I could see the cars on the overpass, inching forward slowly, and finally - finally - I realized that there was an actual hurricane out there! It wasn't just a hurricane that other people are dealing with on the internet, but a hurricane that may actually affect us at home. It finally clicked that all of this traffic was because of south Florida running away from Milton (duh), and we should probably get on the road ourselves. 

We took the super-long way home, along 301, and traffic was almost non-existent. Every time there's a hurricane it amazes me how many people completely forget about State and County Roads! Everyone on social media bitching about how roads were bumper-to-bumper, people couldn't get anywhere, etc... Well, you put yourself in that position! Nobody forces you to take the interstate! People evacuating the Gulf Coast easily could have driven up US-98, US-19, or US-41. 

And, to continue on my soap box, there was no need for this massive evacuation at all (in terms of what people did, not what was ordered)... When you evacuate, you need to run from the water, and hide from the wind. People in Tampa or Sarasota or Fort Myers or wherever didn't need to evacuate North to an entirely different state, but instead move inland, move East toward Lake Wales, Lake Placid, or Immokalee. 

Another thing that many people forget is that it's rare for an entire county to be called to evacuate - in Florida, we have what are called Evacuation Zones within some counties, which are based on how close you are to the shore, and how you may be affected by Tropical Storms and Hurricanes (most inland counties without large lakes or rivers do not have any Evacuation Zones). When Emergency Management in that county calls for evacuations, they generally will say Zones A, B, C are mandatory evacuation zones. So in the photo below, the entire square shown is Hillsborough County (where Tampa is), with Zones A/B/C being the red, orange and yellow colors... Maybe a third of the county. Only residents of Zones A and B were required to evacuate (plus mobile homes). Honestly, the majority of the people in the affected areas could have gone east to Brandon, Lakeland, and Lake Wales, but instead you have people scared out of their minds because of social media and The Weather Fear Porn Channel, and they think they have to leave the entire state! It's a waste of their time, it's a waste of their money (hotels, food), it's a waste of their gas, it's a waste of gas for everyone else (because you filled up there may not be any gas left for me), and frankly, it's mostly unnecessary. 

It's just so damn frustrating as a lifelong Floridian to see the way that social media and weather personalities whip people up into a frenzy... People are bombarded with images of storm surge wiping out houses on the beach and the insinuation that this could happen to the entire state. People lying about climate change and how storms are so much stronger and how Florida is going to sink in to the ocean and all this crazy bullshit, repeated over and over and over again everywhere you look from the minute a storm is detected... it's exhausting. 

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox... 

We were home safe and sound by mid-afternoon. We unpacked, put the groceries away, and just plopped in our respective places for a few hours. I cooked a simple dinner and bagged up the remaining chicken to put in the freezer. We put the big containers of water back in the freezers (we took them out until after Helene), and I went to bed. I binged Hulu for a few hours, but couldn't sleep until around midnight (Hurricane Brain is in full force). I'm at work today (Tuesday), but our office will close on Wednesday and Thursday for the storm, and then I'll probably just telework on Friday. 

****

Hi there! We made it through the storm just fine. As I said above, I was at work on Tuesday, trying to shove in as much work as possible to this day, since it was the only day I'd be IN the office for the week. I was off yesterday for vacation, the office closed for two days, and then I am home today (Friday). 

I texted my mom on Tuesday night and she said that she was planning on staying (she's not in an Evac Zone). I said that we were planning on staying, as well. We watched the track change a little here and a little there, but because it was always going to be south of us, I felt comfortable with the decision to stay. As with all storms, when the winds began to kick up, so did my stress levels, but it wasn't nearly as bad here as it was during Helene (who passed over us to the north). I was able to sleep peacefully, and honestly, it was a nice two-day vacation. I am, of course, heartbroken to communities to the south, like Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, and surrounding areas. I used to live on the Gulf Coast in those areas, and I'm saddened to see the damage, but I know that these communities can rebuild, especially with the amazing leadership and resources provided by our Governor and his administration. 

Hopefully, that will be the end of the storms for 2024... It wasn't as bad as 2004, but it was certainly bad enough! No more, please!

The Saga of the Chronic Kidney Disease... oh and the Mysterious Abdominal Pain (Part 5 - September 2024)

If you've missed any parts of this saga, you can catch up with the links below:

Part 1 (April & May)

Part 2 (June)

Plus   (Baby's First Coloscopy)

Part 3 (July)

Part 4 (August)

Well, it's the end of another month... 

When we last chatted, Hubby was stuck at home on Leave because Home Office sucks and can't get their paperwork done in a timely fashion (all while demanding that we get our paperwork done in a timely fashion). 

No, I'm not frustrated, what makes you say that?

Anyway, he went back to work on September 7th and was then waylaid with nasty vomiting and gastrointestinal problems again. He was able to do a few more days at work the following week, and then two more days the week after that. 

On September 22nd he woke up with knee pain, leg pain, and a swollen knee, which - of course - led to more time away from work. 

On September 25th, I took the entire day off for a few different doctor's appointments. I had to come back to Woman's Imaging for a left breast ultrasound, and under the advisement of the scheduler, they said that there would be plenty of time for me to get this done and have time to go to the next building for Hubby's GE Consult. Yeah, that didn't happen. They were already running late when we got there, and once I was up on the table there was a lot of Hmmming being done. They were interested in an odd-shaped area near a lymph node. The Tech took a bunch of photos and then called in the Radiologist, who also did a lot of Hmmming, and declared it a regular ol' cyst. I won't lie... I had a few minutes of oh shit, is this really happening? While the Tech went to go get the Radiologist, I'd texted Hubby that I was running late, and that he should go over to his appointment so he didn't miss it. When I was fully dressed and went back to the lobby, he was sitting there waiting for me. As we walked over to the other building, he said that there was no way in hell he was going to leave, because he didn't know if I was going to come out of there with bad news, and he wanted to be by my side. Awww, but still...

Because of the too-long appointment, we were too late for his GE consult, but we were able to reschedule it for later in the day after the appointment with Dr. L. So we went home and I had some time to decompress from the "near-miss" of the morning. 

The visit with Dr. L revealed that hubby's protein and creatinine were both still too high. She changed his diruetic from Chlorthalidone to Spironolactone, which may be better for his kidneys. Even better, though, is that she reached out to a company called Natera and secure a full gene panel test for us for free! These tests are usually around $1000! She's hoping that maybe whatever's causing Hubby's problems are genetic and can be dealt with, because if not, the next step is a Kidney Biopsy, and Hubby absolutely pushed back on the idea of that. I'll have to work on him... we can't just watch his kidneys get worse and worse and not know why. Again, he was told to watch his diet and blood pressure, and return in mid-October after the genetic test and a round of labs. 

Well, there was no time to eat lunch at this point (unless we ate it in the car, and who wants to do that), so we went over to the GE appointment (remember, this is in relation to the Left Lower Quadrant pain, not the Kidney issue). As expected, the doctor has no magical diagnosis for us. Every question she asked was a dead-end. The only suggestion she had was to go do an x-ray to look for any possible bowel blockages, but she surmised that whatever is causing his pain my be due to abdominal wall issues (i.e. muscles, not intestines), and not her body parts to treat. She suggested using capsaicin or lidocaine pain reliever creams, or heating pads to treat the pain when he has a flare up. She seemed to ramble a lot as she spoke, but I think it was because she didn't have any definitive answers for us and she felt bad; we told her it was okay, that we didn't expect her to pull anything out of a hat, and that seemed to get her to stop rambling. We shared with her that he'd already had a coloscopy, as well as an Ultrasound, a CT Scan, and an MRI, and she asked that I send those reports over to her (I did that a few days later). 

Over an extremely late lunch at Culver's, we had a lot to talk over, and I said that it might be time to stop the LLQ wild goose chase and just learn how to deal with it. He hasn't had a pain flare-up in a few weeks, and knock on wood, maybe they're gone... He agreed that he wanted to stop, because he saw how it was affecting me... I worry about him, I worry about money, I have to take time off of work, I'm not taking care of myself, it's all so overwhelming. I said that it's better that we focus our time on taking care of his Chronic Kidney Disease, get that under control, and deal with whatever random pain may come. I made a mental note to pick up some pain cream next time I went to Walmart. 

Oh, and to add to the stress? I got a text message from work telling me that our offices would be closed starting September 26th because of Hurricane Helene, and would also be closed the next day as well. And y'all know me... I hate hurricanes! 

On September 30, we went and did the Natera genetic testing, which was amazingly simple! Just a single tube blood draw, done by an amazingly charismatic nurse. Again, Dr. L swears that this will be free to us, but I'm interested to see if they'll even try to bill our insurance or not... 

So, that's where we are. We may never know what caused - or is causing - this mysterious abdomen pain. But it's too frustrating to keep trying to find a cause. It's time to put all of our attention on him getting healthier and taking care of his kidneys. Here's hoping Hurricane Helene leaves us alone, too!

Cancelled Conference & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hurricane Helene

I have been a Floridian my entire life, so hurricanes are nothing new to me, but twenty years ago, I lived through The Four in '04, which drastically changed how I feel about hurricanes (I hate them now). Back then, Charley came in early August and did a lot of damage in South Florida. Then we got Frances on September 5th that did a number on the whole state, really, and the first one that did some damage to our area of North Central Florida. Ivan was next, making landfall two weeks later in the FL the peninsula. And exactly three weeks after Frances, Jeanne made landfall on September 25th. 

The Four in '04 will never be forgotten
Those Yellow and Cyan tracks messed me all up

Frances did a lot of damage to my city, but it was Jeanne that took it to a whole new level of suck - the ground was so wet because all the prior storms, many of our gorgeous Oak trees just couldn't stand up against the winds that Jeanne brought with her, and they just toppled over, pulling their roots right out of the ground. An old story from the local paper said that they estimated almost half a million cubic yards of tree trunks and debris was collected after the storms. 

I will never forget the sound of hearing a tree (that straddled both mine and my neighbor's backyard) ripping out of the ground and falling over... It was so loud and foreign to us that we thought a tornado was coming, and we clambered into the hallway with couch cushions over our head, awaiting the impending devastation. Instead we heard this massive thud at the same time the power went out. We stayed there for a few minutes until we felt it was safe (no noises, no train sounds) then climbed out and turned on flashlights. We didn't see anything out the front windows, and when I looked out the bedroom window to the backyard... all I saw was tree bark. No sky. No stars. No ground. Just tree bark. The next morning, when we could inspect the backyard during the daylight, we could see that this tree, probably bigger around than a minivan, fell from my neighbor's yard, across our backyard, with the canopy resting in my other neighbor's yard, tangled in power lines, missing everyone's homes by less than a foot. 

Because of the tree canopy entwined with the power lines, our entire neighborhood was without power for almost a week. Florida in September is no joke with no AC! We slept in the living room with the windows open at night to keep cool, went to local restaurants and bookstores to keep cool in the day. We lost thousands of dollars worth of food in our fridge and freezers. And we learned a lot about Storm Preparedness. 

Photo courtesy of The Gainesville Sun archives
(Photo to show devastation - this isn't my yard)

Anyway, the point of this little flashback is to say that I. Hate. Hurricanes. My PTSD is off the charts anytime one is coming our way. And lawd, Helene was a big one. 

For the past few weeks, I'd been looking forward to attending a work conference in Orlando. My employer had paid for three nights' stay at the conference hotel. Hubby was gonna come along for a 'mini-vacation' - kind of a get away from all this bullshit we've been dealing with thing. 

I had taken off September 25th since Hubby had a few doctor's appointments, so I wasn't checking my work email that day. I'd been watching the weather to see what Helene was going to do, but it wasn't on my radar yet as something to worry about. Blissfully unaware of a message in my inbox, stating that the conference had been cancelled. Made sense, of course, since it was a conference of Florida-specific attendees who would be more useful to their communities during a storm than attending a conference. But still... wah! You guys ruined my vacation! I can hear Weird Al's song Why Does This Always Happen to Me? playing in my head right now...

 

Before we left for his follow up with Dr. L, I got a text from work that said we'd be closed starting at noon on Wednesday, through the end of the day on Thursday. Okay. That's great, but that's not good... That means shit may be hitting the fan soon. 

We went to his doctor's appointments, as planned, then came home and did storm prep, including:

• Charging all the things (laptops, phones, tablets, battery backups, etc)
• Filling multiple large containers with water and freezing (will keep freezers colder longer, if the power goes out)
• Putting all the batteries and flashlights in a centrally convenient place (the living room table)
• Washing the dishes (just in case the water goes out or a lift station goes offline after the storm)

And once all that was done, all I could do was be perpetually online. Wednesday night was okay; I tried to get as much sleep as possible because I knew that Thursday night was gonna suck. 

On Thursday, my boss called me to check in on me, to let me know that the office would also be closed on Friday, and to tell me that the conference was cancelled. Again, I'm not mad that it was cancelled, I'm just bummed at the loss of a mini-vacation, basically on my employer's dime. I shared that info with Hubby and he agreed that it was a bummer, especially because he'd already put in, and been approved for, the time off! We kicked around the idea of going... somewhere... but never really solidified anything, and my mind wasn't in vacation mode at that point. 

Dinner was okay - I could see the bushes moving a little more than they normally moved. Rain was harder. I spent all of dinner on my tablet reading X, trying to keep my mind off the incoming storm, but also staying up to date on what others are experiencing. Somehow that was really helpful. I took the tablet to bed a few hours later, turned on The Amazing Race (Season 1) and binge-watched with Hubby, to keep me distracted from the sounds happening outside. Wind was howling. Trees were creaking. Things were hitting the roof with hollow bonks. Every time the winds kicked up, I took a deep breath to calm down and prayed for it to be over. The cat - who is always aloof and very independent - came and curled up on our headboard, so we knew it had to be pretty bad! For hours, all I did was refresh X, play FreeCell solitaire, and cheer on the teams of the Amazing Race. 

Thankfully, we never heard anything big topple over. We never lost power. We were safe and warm inside our comfy bed, and after the worst of it passed, around 2am, I felt like it was safe for me to fall asleep. Bless his heart, Hubby stayed up with me the entire night because he knew how much I hate storms! Both of us conked out in minutes, and slept in probably until 10am that morning!

When we got up Friday morning, we did a quick damage check outside, and everything looked good. We kept power all night, but at some point after 2am, we lost internet service (and it stayed out until Sunday night, because the provider had lost power at their facility). There were a handful of big-ish branches in the yard, lots of leaves and Spanish moss on the ground. A few big branches and large twigs on the roof. But our Old Girl survived to fight another fight... God bless concrete block houses built in the 1950s! 

No internet meant that we didn't know much of what was going on in the world. I assumed that Helene just blew herself out by the time she got to the state line and all was well, so imagine my sadness and horror when I finally used some of my cell phone data and saw the devastation happening in western NC and eastern TN... All I could think was that this was going to be terrible for them, because they don't know how to prepare for storms like we do... they don't hit by hurricanes, so they don't stockpile, or keep extra food and batteries! I assumed there'd be pockets in the community that lost power, or needed to come together to feed neighbors, but the next time I used data to pull up X, I was horrified. Streets were gone. Entire cities were gone. People were gone. How in the world is Tennessee and North Carolina going to fix this? And where was the National Guard, or FEMA, or even the local cops? From what I could see for the few hours I was online, there was no one with any sort of official capacity helping these people. 

My heart hurts for the people of Eastern Tennessee and Western North Carolina. If you feel that you can, please donate to Meredith O'Rourke's (Trump) GoFundMe for these hurricane victims, donate to Samaritan's Purse, or to any local church or charity in the area. 

 

Mammograms and Haircuts and Birthdays, Oh My!

So, last year for my birthday, I had a fun adventure, going kayaking, and then having lunch with my mom and aunt. 

This year, I had a mammogram.  

Okay, so let me back up. If you're new here, hi! I have a husband recently diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease, and for the past six months, we've been to just about every medical specialist you can imagine. Because of that, I didn't have a lot of available PTO (paid time off) at work. I'd already requested my birthday off months ago, so I used the day for stuff that I needed to do, including a mammogram and a haircut. And to be honest, I did get to have lunch with my mom and aunt; we met up at Red Lobster the weekend before Labor Day (damn, I love those biscuits!)

My last mammo was in 2023, and it was clear, so I wasn't worried going in to this year's mammo. I was in and out of there in probably an hour. It didn't seem like anything was amiss. It didn't seem like the Tech didn't do it right. I figured everything was good. 

I went over to get my haircut, and my regular stylist was out with a broken wrist so I met with one of the other ladies, and... oh no... she cut my hair better. Anyone have tips on how to break up with a stylist, when you're seeing the other stylist in the chair next door?

After my haircut, I treated myself to lunch and then headed home. I figured that nothing more was going to come of my day. 

I was wrong. 

I got a message in MyChart a day or so later, stating that there is a mass in the upper outer posterior aspect of the left breast, adjacent to a stable intramammary lymph node. They wanted me to come back in for an ultrasound. Not surprising really, my girls are pretty dense; this wouldn't be the first callback that I've gotten. 

So on September 25th (on the same day that Hubby had a nephrology follow-up and a GE consult), we headed over to Woman's Imaging. Hubby hung in the waiting room while went back with the very chatty Tech. She lubed me up and started passing the wand over me, hovering in the same spot, with a lot of Hmmming. After about five minutes, she said that she wanted Dr. M to come in to take a look. 

Well, shit. It's never good when the doc has to come in, right? While the Tech was gone, I shot off a text message to Hubby, telling him that things were taking longer than usual, and that he should go ahead and walk over to the second building for his GE consult (he'd be late, but okay). He never texted back, so I didn't know if he'd even gotten the message! As I laid there, waiting for the doc, I was freaking out, in a dark sky, what if this is really happening kind of way. On top of everything else we're dealing with? Why now?? There were a few tears to deal with, but I held myself together. 

Dr. M came in and there was more squishing and Hmmmming. She concluded that she was pretty sure that it was just a cyst, nothing to worry about; since I'm a cysty girl to begin with, she saw no reason to freak out. She'll just check it again in 2025. 

Dressed, I went back out into the lobby, and Hubby was still there waiting for me. He looked worried but calm, and he asked if I was okay. I kind of bottled everything up and shoved it down, and said I was okay, but we needed to go - he was very late for his GE Consult. As we walked over there, I tried to put into words what I was feeling, but I could feel myself starting to cry, so I buried it back down. We had to reschedule his GE Consult to later in the day, so we headed home, where I sat, just kind of... numb. Like, what if it had been something? What would I do? I was trying to concentrate on other stuff (namely, the huge hurricane coming our way...), but I was just zoning out. 

Later, I checked MyChart to see the ultrasound results and they said There is a 6.5 x 3 x 1.6mm Septated Cyst {a cyst with segments, or tissue partitions} in the left breast; benign ultrasound. 

So yeah... I'm fine. Just a scare. I'm fine. Just a cysty girl. Which I already knew. Which shouldn't surprise me. But when they show up in my breasts, they're just a little bit scarier than when they show up on my chest. 

That big black dot looks scary!

The Saga of the Mysterious Abdominal Pain Never Ends (Part 4 - August 2024)

If you've missed any parts of this saga, you can catch up with the links below:

Part 1 (April & May)

Part 2 (June)

Plus   (Baby's First Coloscopy)

We're still in a holding pattern, of sorts, and it's really starting to get to me, guys. Every day, I wake up thinking Today is going to be a good day... we're going to do everything we're supposed to do, we're gonna stay on our schedule, and nothing is going to be weird or abnormal. And then something happens and the schedule goes out the window. I'm a creature of habit. I like knowing that on Monday, I'm going to take him to work, go to the gym, come home and shower, work from home, pick him up, make dinner, go to bed. But if he doesn't go to work, we sleep in, so I don't go to the gym, so I don't get my shower, and then I shower before I go to bed. Part of it is me, I know that... I know that I can still get out of bed and go to the gym, but I have no willpower; the minute that something different happens, I use it as an excuse to not do things. I hate this about me, and I complain about it a lot, but I never get around to actually fixing this problem.... 

Sigh...

So, on August 1st he expected to wake up and go to work, but when he stood up out of bed, he said that he felt extremely dizzy and lightheaded. This carried over for the next few days as well. He was feeling better and went back to work on August 8th and did a full week with no issues. 

He had another round of labs on August 12th, and we were ready for his MRE on August 14th, but it got cancelled because Blue Cross Blue Shield hadn't approved it yet. We also had a follow up with Dr. L who said that he was stable and that he should keep on tracking his blood pressure and watch what he eats. 

On August 15th, he had his Peeper View (Cystoscopy) and a prostate exam. Bless his heart, the Urologist wasn't all that... gentle... with the exam! I left the room and hung out in the hallway, and within seconds I heard a weird combo of "oof!" and "oh!" and then the doc was out of the room and I went back in, trying not to giggle. Hubby had never experienced a digital exam before, so he was grossed out with the lube and the finger and the whole thing and me - a vagina haver - was like, what's the big deal?

Anyway, the nurse came back and to clean and prep his peeper, then the doctor squeezed some numbing gel into hubby's urethra. At the same time, the nurse uncovered the Cystoscope, and my god... Hubby's eyes about popped out of his head! He said later that it looked like an immersion blender. 

This looks like a creepy mechanical iguana, lol

The cystoscope has a little light and camera at the end, and it's connected to a TV so that the doctor can see what's happening, and I got to see the entire thing. I won't lie, it was cool as hell! Hubs wasn't as impressed, and he was uncomfortable, and let out a few sharp oofs at one point. We saw a (benign) polyp in his urethra, and the entire bladder. They used the cystoscope to inflate the bladder with water to stretch it and make reviewing the tissue easier. I didn't time it, but I'd say that the entire process from numbing to retraction was maybe 5 minutes? Once done, they left him to clean up and empty his bladder in the bathroom nearby. 

As expected (and I'm so frustrated by all of this), he didn't see anything. Maybe a redness that could be a result of a past infection or problem. He wrote an order for a FISH Test (Fluorescence in situ Hybridization) which is a test that can detect genetic abnormalities associated with cancer. FISH testing may be more reliable for looking for abnormal cells, and may detect bladder cancer up to 6 months earlier than other methods. Interestingly, on the lab order, they have Hubby diagnoses as Chronic Kidney Disease Level 2 - not even Dr. L has given us any official diagnosis. 

As he feared, but fully expected, he woke up the next day with LLQ pain again. Most likely all of the ab-clenching and tensing up during the Peeper View triggered another bout of pain and he missed an entire week of work. 

On August 22, he felt ready to go back to work, but he was waylaid by gastrointestinal issues (like three poop stops in an hour type of issue) that stuck around for multiple days. He stayed home again, and because he had to fill out some official paperwork with Home Office that took absolutely forever (!), he didn't go back to work until after Labor Day! 

On August 27, we had a full schedule. First up was an MRE (Magnetic Resonance Enterography), a special type of MRI that uses contrast material to produce detailed images of the small intestine. It's often used to evaluate for things like Crohn's Disease. When we got to the medical plaza, we were called back and he was given four containers of VoLumen (20oz each, I think) that he was supposed to drink within an hour! While I was paying attention to the nurse and what he was saying, I could see Hubby next to me mentally withdrawing and already shutting down inside of his head... I can't drink that, there's no way, I quit, let's go home... those kinds of thoughts. I asked the nurse what would happen if he didn't drink enough, and was told, point-blank, that the MRE would be cancelled, we'd need to reschedule, and he'd have to drink again. So, I made Hubby put on his Big Boy Pants and drink. 

It tasted like flat room-temperature Sprite, which was weird. He got through the first bottle in 20 minutes, and most of the second bottle in the next 30 minutes. (If you can math, that means he's way behind schedule, and things aren't looking all that good). The nurse called us back again so that he could change in to scrubs. He said that Hubby needed to at least drink three bottles or it was a no-go. So Hubby continued to chug while he changed. The nurse also asked if I wanted to be in the room with him while he had the MRE (I didn't think that was an option), so I needed to put on scrubs too. Both of us had to be 100% naked under the gowns (plus those fun grippy socks), with no jewelry, hair clips, glasses, etc. The rest of our stuff got shoved into a locking drawer and the nurse held on to the key. By the time he got to the MRE machine, he was full of 2 3/4 bottles of VoLumen (much less than he should be, but he got the go-ahead from the nurse, so...)

Inside the MRI suite, he went in feet first with his hands above his head sticking out of the machine. They gave him a button to push in case he needed to tap out, and both of us got earplugs because the machine is very loud (especially inside the machine). Some machines allows for music inside, but this one didn't have that feature, so he was just in a Pringles can with his own thoughts. I was able to stand next to the machine and hold his hands, and at first, I was just giving him some gentle "I'm here for you" squeezes. For many of the scans, he was required to hold his breath for anywhere from 8-19 seconds, so we worked out a system that I'd squeeze at the halfway mark (4-9 seconds) and double-squeeze when it was over. This seemed to calm him down well, and after about a half-hour, he was done with all the scans. We changed back into our real clothes and headed home. He was still full of VoLumen, so he didn't really want lunch. 

After lunch, we had our last follow-up with Dr. K (the virtual doc); she felt like Hubby was in good hands with Dr. L and ARNP LeBlanc, and asked that we just check in with her every once in a while to let her know how he's doing, especially if (when) we get a true diagnosis and a reason for the diagnosis. But until then, we were done with her; no follow-up appointments in the future. 

We had a few hours to relax but then we had to go out again, this time for his Wellness visit with ARNP LeBlanc. This was more of a routine doctor's visit, not specifically for his pain or kidneys. She suggested that Hubby have his lipids checked for high cholesterol, but other than that, she was fine with what Dr. L was doing, and sent us home with no additional info or follow-up appointments. 

So at this point, he's still on leave, but that's because Home Office sucks, not because he's not feeling well. Here's hoping that he can get back to work soon and we can put all this pain and poop and dizziness behind us and get back to real life. 

The Saga of the Mysterious Abdominal Pain Remains Unclear (Part 3 - July 2024)

If you've missed any parts of this saga, you can catch up with the links below:

Part 1 (April & May)

Part 2 (June)

Plus   (Baby's First Coloscopy)

So, an upside of Hubby's continued (unofficial) leave from work was that I was able to run the Celebration Run 5k in Jacksonville on Independence Day. It was hot, as always, but nice to just get away for a day and not have to worry about doctors and appointments and labs and pee and meds and, and, and.... I carried a medium flag this time (not the big boy on the flagpole), and it was better. I finished at almost exactly one hour (1:00:19), and I'm fine with that. This was cathartic, not athletic. Afterward, I hit up Dollar Tree and Walmart for a few things, had delicious cheese curds and custard at Culver's for lunch, then headed home. 

I love a big medal

That Friday, he did another round of bloodwork and 24-hour urine collection, prompting Dr. L to change his blood pressure meds. 

He was set to go back to work on July 8th but another round of insomnia showed up and pushed his return back to June 11th, and it was good for a whopping two days. More pain showed up and he skipped work on Saturday - Monday. It sure made going to Bridge of Lions in St. Augustine much easier, though! I finished with a better time of 58:00, went up to IKEA then had lunch at Cheddar's, detoured back to Buc-ee's before going home. 

St Augustine always puts on beautiful sunrises

Thank you to the random youngster who chalked this... I needed it!

We got his colonoscopy results - one of the polyps that had been removed was a Tubular Adenoma. That kind of adenoma could develop into cancer, but they got it before it did, so all is fine, and they want him to come back in 2027. 

On July 25th, he met with his new Primary Care doc, ARNP LeBlanc. She listened to everything he said, and then had her attending (Dr. M) come in, as ARNP LeBlanc was stumped. Dr. M was the first doctor out of all of the people we'd seen to suggest that his LLQ pain may be something like scar tissue or internal adhesion. And unfortunately, the treatment is to go back in and try to fix what might be wrong, or learn to live with it. But it's not really something that can be seen on X-Rays or CT Scans. They also recommended a Gastroenterology consult, and an MRE of the abdomen and pelvis (similar to an MRI). Unfortunately (but as expected) their poking and prodding brought on a new bout of pain, and he was away from work until August 7th. 

The Saga of the Mysterious Abdominal Pain Continues (Part 2 - June 2024)

If you missed Part 1 of this Saga, you can go back and read it HERE. 

I took off the morning of June 3 so I could take Hubby to his Nephrology consult, and what an experience that was! Dr. L is this tiny little Asian woman, maybe in her 60s, probably 100lbs soaking wet. She listened to his symptoms and reviewed previous labs he completed. Before the appointment, Hubby submitted a urine sample and the results were the same (Proteinuria). His blood pressure is responding to the Amlodipine (prescribed last month by Dr. K); he’s now in the high 130s/90s range. She asked about his medical history, what meds he takes, normal stuff. Any time we’d say something she didn’t like, she’d crinkle up her face and then lightly lecture us (like, you don’t go for walks at all?!? Or Oh, you shouldn’t eat ham sandwiches, they’re full of salt and nitrates! Or You should never eat fast food ever again and switch to a vegan diet!!! Okay that last one was an over-exaggeration). Like, yeah, we get it. We know that we don’t eat healthily. But it didn’t feel like there was any empathy or caring to her admonishments; it came across more like nagging. She also seemed a bit rude and disdainful about the fact that his current General Practitioner was a virtual doctor; she called Dr. K a “Doc in a Box” in a dismissive little way (kind of a she’s not a real doctor because she can’t touch you remark). Neither of us were huge fans of her bedside manner (spoiler alert, she’s growing on us).

One interesting thing that she discovered, though… She went back and looked at all of the labs from when he was in the hospital for his appendix last year, and he had Proteinuria then! None of the doctors ever said anything! (My guess is that, since it wasn’t appendix-specific, they didn’t care at the time). So, he’s actually had this problem for much longer than just the past month or two… we only discovered it because of an unrelated pain issue. 

At the end of the visit, she put in orders for 13 different blood tests, plus a 24-hour urine collection, and recommended a possible change to his Blood Pressure meds (one that would have more benefits for his kidneys than what he’s currently taking). We picked up the Pee Jug and took it home with us – the plan is to start immediately, finish on Wednesday before his Colonoscopy Consult, then take the jug over to the lab afterward. 

Stress and worry came to a head later when we got home… Hubby started his 24-hour "pee clock" at 10:44am, which meant that his last pee would be around 10:44am the next day. Unfortunately, his GI (coloscopy) consult was at 11, and we had to leave the house by 10:15 to get there. I kept joking that he could pee before we left at 10:15, and bring it with us in case he had to pee again before 10:44, but he was adamant that he wasn’t going to leave the house until 10:44. No matter how I tried to explain that this was a stupid idea (in nicer terms, of course), he kept pushing back (he’s an obstinate SOB), accusing me of demanding he “pee on command” (which I wasn’t) and that he can’t do that (doesn’t matter, since I wasn’t asking him to). Finally, I just threw up my hands and said fuck it and let him stew. We put it behind us by dinner time, with him apologizing for taking his stress out on me. 

The next day, we packed up his jug nice and secure, with some ice packs to keep it cold, and headed over to his GI consult. This ARNP had such a great attitude, with a good sense of humor, even going as far as to recommend that we watch the episode of Good Mythical Morning when Rhett & Link got their Bro-lonoscopies. 

We got him scheduled for his coloscopy on June 20th and got a personalized hand-out of what pills and drinks he’ll need, when to drink and take the pills, and what to expect during the prep and actual procedure (but that’s a post for another day). Then, back across town to the lab to drop off the pee, though it was way too busy to stick around for bloodwork (it was past lunch time and we were both hangry). We picked up food from Sonic and headed home. We’ll pop over to the lab in a few days to do the rest of what is needed. 

On Wednesday (June 5th), we met again with Dr. K and filled her in on the events of the past week or so. She found it interesting that he’d been dealing with Proteinuria since last year, and no one told him about it. She was okay with Dr. L taking the lead on his care, since it was seeming like there was a lot of kidney-related care that was needed, but asked that we continue to keep her in the loop with lab results and scan results. When we complained to Dr. K about Dr. L’s bedside manner she suggested that we ask for a new doctor within the practice (later, after discussing it again, he decided we should give Dr. L another chance, just in case this was a one-off bad day or something). 

After another night of insomnia (oh, that better not be coming back!), we got labs done again, and the high protein (1200mg/day) was still there, as well as a positive hit for random antibodies (nothing specific). His kidney function has dropped from 75% in 2023 to 66% in 2024. Dr. L reminded us to watch his diet (low sodium, no fast food, vegetarian options, no prepackaged food) which may improve his blood pressure and help with weight loss – which in turn may decrease the Proteinuria levels. 

On Friday (June 7) he woke up with that mysterious Left Lower Quadrant (LLQ) pain again, really bad pain this time. And hasn’t returned to work since. He put in for a second leave of absence, but Dr. K fears it will be denied, because there’s no medical proof that there’s anything wrong with him. At a follow up appointment a few weeks later, she said again that she was worried about it being denied (and she didn’t want him to lose his job because of this pain). The next Tuesday, he had a CT Urogram, which was a very easy test, and came back clean… No issues with the kidneys or bladder. Interestingly, they did see something on his L5 vertebrae, like an old stress fracture, but that has nothing to do with the current issues. 

On Thursday, June 20th, he had his colonoscopy, but wow… that was such an adventure in what not to do that I have a stand-alone post about that! 

We got lucky and scored an appointment for his Urology Consult the following week, and this doctor was a very direct, to the point, kind of man. He listened, but didn’t waste time, with small talk or unrelated questions. He palpitated the abdomen, fondled the goods (skipped the one-finger howdy, since his butthole was sore after his colonoscopy). He didn’t see or feel anything questionable, so he suggested a Cystectomy, where they use a small tube to go up the peeper and into the bladder, to see what’s happening up there. That’s set up for August. On the way home, I suggested that he take a few Tylenol before the procedure, similar to how women are told to take meds before an IUD insertion, just to be on the safe side (A bit of pressure is doctor-speak for This shit’s gonna hurt). Then, because I didn’t want him to be surprised on the day of the event,  I explained to him that Lidocaine would be delivered through a needle (spoiler alert… I was wrong abut the delivery method) into his peeper. He was freaked out, as any man would be! I patiently explained that Lidocaine is what the Dermatologist uses when they shave off my moles, and how it works instantaneously. The first shot would suck, but then he wouldn’t feel the other ones... I’m pretty sure he stopped listening at “they’re gonna put sharp needles on my dick head,” though. 

We followed up the next day with Dr. K again, and she was (rightly) frustrated that he still hadn’t gone back to work yet, and admonished him for thinking that he shouldn’t go to work when he has pain, like none of us wake up pain-free, we just deal with it. They set a date to return to work on July 8th. She recommended that we continue with Dr. L and find a local General Practitioner so that we have a hand-on doctor take a swing at this. Besides that, I asked her if she thought that this LLQ pain could be something as stupidly simple as muscle strain, or a pinched nerve, and she said it was definitely possible. Those types of things don’t show up on x-rays or CT scans. She agreed with me that he should be up and moving around – I’ve been saying this to him for weeks, but maybe having her say it would kick his ass into gear a little bit (spoiler alert… it didn’t). I mean… It’s gotta be a muscle thing, right? I am wondering now if he picked up something wrong, or bent over wrong? Did he pull something the last time we had sex? Or a small muscle sprain or tear? What else could it possibly be? I’m so frustrated! 

So at this point, we have a little bit of breathing room. We have additional labs and a 24-hour urine to do, but I don’t think there’s anything to do until July 8th, when he goes back to work, and then nothing until August. I’m hopeful that – once I get him up and moving again – that stretching and walking will help him some, especially if I can get him limbered up before he goes back to work.