Once upon a time, I was a Lazy Lady. In 2011, I decided to train for a half-marathon and since then, I've done 5ks, 10ks, 15ks, a few trail runs and over fifteen half-marathons! I haven't lost my focus though; I'm still lazy, and I'm still frugal, so please pull up a chair and join me in my continuing endeavor to be healthy, frugal, and happy!
I’ve
done the summer version of this race a few times, back in the mid 2010s,
and the last time I did it (in 2016), I got heat exhaustion! So I’d decided to
not do this race anymore, at least until I was in better shape (i.e. not fat). I
haven’t done it since… But
there’s also a winter version that I’ve wanted to try but never
remembered to sign up for… until this year!
I left
home around 6am and had an easy drive to Jacksonville Beach. I got there around
7:45am (for a 9am race), scoring a great parking spot in the lot right by the
park. I went
up to get my packet, and I was told that they didn’t have any Women’s XXL
shirts, and that I could check back afterward to “see if any showed up.” I
asked to get a different size, and the volunteer kept telling me that they
couldn’t swap or substitute before the race. BUT… I wasn’t trying to swap or
substitute – I was just trying to get a shirt that was owed to me for signing
up for the race. I was getting pissed off, because I specifically paid $5 EXTRA
for a shirt in my size, and somehow ended up with NO SHIRT?!?
After
a few minutes of trying to be rational with this woman, I gave up and went back
to the car. Where I decided to tweet about it. Like, I didn’t expect any sort
of outcome, but I was just so damn ticked off, that I needed to name and shame
the company at this point.
I headed back to the park around 8:40 and as I was walking I heard my bib number being called over the speaker, telling me to come to the Info Tent. When I got there, I was told that they just randomly had someone turn in an WXXL shirt (yeah, sure) so I was able to get the shirt that I paid extra for. Was it the twitter bitching? Did they find an extra one in a box? Did someone actually turn one in? Who knows, got mine. I wasn’t happy, per se, but satisfied. Like, I don’t take pleasure in having to shame someone publicly to get what I deserve. I took it back to the car, then back to the park to finally line up and walk this race.
A tiny
bit of the race was along the Seawalk sidewalks, but the majority of it was on
the beach. Trudging through the soft sand always sucks, but then you get to the
harder-packed sand at the water’s edge and it’s easier to walk. I didn’t do any
running, but I did want to run, so that’s a win, I suppose (I feel like
my body is fighting back from a year or so of not training).
I
finished under an hour – 58:54 – and was 445th out of 486 total
participants. I was last in my age group, and ironically, I could have beat the
22nd lady if I was just 20 seconds faster!
I
wandered around the ‘after party’ which was sad as hell. A perk of this
race is hot cocoa after the race, and even though it was already in the high
60s, I got some anyway, and y’all… I kid you not, there were cases of individually
packaged cocoa mix under the table, with the cocoa being kept in those
large Igloo cooler dispensers. Someone had to sit there and open thousands of
Swiss Miss packets and mix them all together! As you can imagine, the cocoa
wasn’t all that hot, and not super-tasty. The only other thing there was some
rando handing out almond granola. Not an almond fan, so I didn’t get any. The
after party was very sad!
I walked
around the adjacent Jax Beach Arts Market, which was as sad as you’d imagine,
then headed back to the car. I changed at a local gas station then headed north
to treat myself to a platter of fried deliciousness at Safe Harbor Seafood.
There were about 30 Navy men in their fatigues, waiting in line. As I stood there
looking at them, they all looked so YOUNG! I’ve reached an age where I can look
at new soldiers and realize that they could all be young enough to be my child.
Bless you all, my dudes, and stay safe as you make your way through the world.
Anyway,
I got the Fried Shrimp and Scallop basket, and took it outside to the patio. I
forgot how much I hated these stupid, hipster, aluminum seats (they aren’t
meant for big butts). Sadly, the scallops weren’t cooked all the way through (I
guess?) because they felt kind of mushy inside. The shrimp was delicious, nice
and plump. I need to remember to skip the scallops and just get shrimp! Although
I’m beginning to wonder if the product is worth the hype anymore? This meal
cost me about $25, and I only ate about half of it.
With a
full belly, I decided to check out the St. Vincent de Paul thrift shop. Everyone
raves about St. Vinnies, but this one wasn’t impressive. It was very small, and
felt bougie. Good for them for marketing their wares in a great way, though! I
felt like I was shopping at a boutique that caters to 60-year old women who
like to lunch. I ended up getting a small fleece blanket for a buck, that I use
at work (our building is 200 years old and not well insulated).
Next,
I headed to Hope’s Closet Thrift Shop and HOLY MOLY, what a store!
I didn’t know what to expect, only that the store looked like it would be big,
but wow. It was probably 75% clothing, so at first I wasn’t all that thrilled –
it’s hard to find Plus Size clothing at thrift stores. This store was weird,
though. They had some items that looked brand new with tags, like they got it
from a warehouse or outlet, but then they also had racks of typical thrift
clothing. Racks were very well organized, by type, then size – including Plus
Size! This made me so happy, because it meant that I wouldn’t have to dig
through racks and racks of clothing just hoping to find my size! I could simply
go to the Shirt rack, and look at the small selection of Plus Size, and then
move on if I don’t find anything. I ended up wandering this store for three
hours, immersed in the hunt! I scored a few pair of nice (like really
nice) work pants and some little tchotchkes for Valentine’s day décor.
I
thought about hitting up another thrift store, but it was late in the day, so I
grabbed a soda and just headed home, exhausted!
Race
Notes Location:
Jacksonville Beach, FL Host:
1st Place Sports Race
Fee: $25 at time of registration (Plus extra $5 for Women’s 2X shirt) Packet
Pickup: Easy to find, unsatisfactory interaction Parking:
Across the street, but I got there early Support:
One water table (accessible up and back), beach was not closed to tourists After
Party: Pretty much nothing! Some rando with granola, an Igloo cooler with
Hot Cocoa Results:
https://my.raceresult.com/378077/results#2_EB48B6
I woke
up early on Saturday to ensure that everything was ready to go, and mom was up
as well. I asked how she was feeling and she said that a day to relax was just
what she needed. Since I’d anticipated that it would take much longer for Hubby
& The Kiddo to get ready, we were all standing around staring at each other
by 7am, so what did we do? We vegged out on our phones for a while until I got The
Antsies strong enough to make me get everyone moving. I’d rather veg out at
the airport, than risk the chance of missing a flight due to running out of
gas, or a car accident, or long TSA lines, or whatever. So, an hour later, we
were at the Springfield airport. It was freezing outside (almost, it was 33ºF)
as we unpacked the SUV and went inside. Returning the SUV was super easy, so
there’s extra time there, too. We found a nice place to sit at the gate to
watch airplanes come and go (what few there were). I got up and got a soda
(dammit, no bottled Pepsi to be found) and we all just chit-chatted for an hour
or so.
We
gate-checked our carry-ons and headed on to the small plane. Since it was a
2-seat row, Mom and the Kiddo got a row to themselves, and Hubby and I had a
row to ourselves, and he finally got a window seat, and let me tell ya… him
watching takeoff was like watching a little boy see a pony for the first time.
His whole body was full of excitement and he kept looking at me with a big ol’
grin on his face, totally worth giving up the seat for him.
We
landed in Chicago, where it was a balmy 11ºF, but no snow on the ground. The
airport was really pretty, but very large. We had more than an hour to kill, so
we started looking for food. We found a McDonald’s and backtracked to a
terminal walkway where we could sit on deep window ledges and not be in the
way. I scarfed down too many chicken McNuggets and just let some of the stress
and airplane seat uncomfortableness melt out of my body. Once we were all full
of chemicals, we pulled up the AA app to make sure our gates hadn’t changed,
and SHOCKER! The Kiddo’s gate had changed, again. Thankfully, it stayed
in the same terminal, but just a different gate.
Sadly,
once we got to the gate, we had to leave her. We all said our goodbyes and got
lots of hugs… and then a few more… and turned around and headed three terminals
over to our own gate for our final flight back to warm & sunny Tampa Bay.
Before
we took off, I checked text messages one more time, and saw that the Kiddo had
yet ANOTHER delay, this time due to “Aircraft Failure.” I don’t have other
texts from her to confirm, since she was also texting with Hubby, but I think
she finally landed in Milwaukee around 7pm, and she ended up staying over at
her friend’s house for the night (rather than driving all the way home). We
landed in Tampa around 6pm to the most gorgeous sunset I’d seen in years, and
after getting our luggage and finding our car, we dropped mom off at home by
7:30pm. After we dropped her off and got our hugs, we got back in the car and
just… exhaled. It was like, fuck yeah, we made it. This massive
undertaking of a family vacation, so many moving pieces, and it worked pretty
much flawlessly (except for a few hiccups). I felt like I was taking off a
100-pound backpack and could just breathe again.
We hit
up Long John Silver’s for dinner, because I didn’t want to have to stop halfway
through the trip home. I was already getting dangerously depleted, I felt like
a bathtub that was almost completely drained. I don’t remember what I ordered,
but I asked for a cup for ice water, then proceeded to fill it up with soda at
the machine and waited for my food. Hubby just sat there and looked at me until
I realized what I did, then he went back up to the front and paid for another
soda and filled it up with ice water for me. I kind of mumbled thank you as he
smiled at me with this weird, affectionate smile that he has, that only comes
out at certain times. He told me something next, that actually kind of threw me
a little bit… He said “I like it when you’re vulnerable; I can take care you
when you’re like this.” I wasn’t offended or put out, but it did make me
realize that perhaps I take the “Strong, independent woman who don’t need no
man” persona a bit far sometimes, and that there’s nothing wrong with allowing
the man I love to help me when I need it.
Once
we finished dinner, we hit up a Circle K for mass quantities of Pepsi (yes,
even on top of what we got at LJS) and made the two-hour drive home.
Thankfully, it was quiet and peaceful and totally uneventful (I use this word a
lot…). My driveway looked amazing. My home looked inviting. My bed was fucking
magical. I think I was asleep before I even rolled over.
The
next morning was Recovery Day. You know the drill, unpack, put everything away.
Put all the stuff you ended up not bringing with you away. Catch up on emails.
All that jazz. I think we stayed in bed until 10, just snuggled up and enjoying
being alone. I could have stayed there all day, but real life was kicking back
in… I had to do laundry and get ready for the upcoming work week.
So, would I do this again? Yeah, I think so! Mom even
joked on the way home about where we gonna go next? I think we need a
bit of time to pay off this vacation though… Mom paid $1,000 for the VRBO. I paid $1.700 for the flights and rental car. When I add that in to everything else we paid for (like meals and experiences), it came out to $2,900. Honestly? For 5
days in a touristy area like Branson, flying from two different locations? Not
bad. When you add in the cost of the VRBO, that totals $3900, which is still $1000 total per person, under $200 total per person, per day (I have a full cost breakdown below, if you're curious). I
know you can’t put a price on priceless memories, but damn, we did pretty good!
(Okay, I’m not humble, I’ll say it… I did
pretty good. I found
all the deals. I booked the VRBO. I booked the flights. I rock.)
But
for now, it’s important to notice that it’s about 2 weeks until Christmas, and
there’s a buttload of things that need to be done! Decorating, cleaning,
shopping, cooking… And that’s just at home! I have two meetings to set up, a
Christmas Party to decorate for, and an entire week’s worth of work to catch up
on before we close for Christmas.
Maybe
next time we do this it won’t be so close to a major holiday!
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For you weirdos (like me) who like to see real numbers,
On
Thursday, we woke up to the same cold temps we had when we went to bed, only
about 40º at 9am. But it was sunny, so that made a difference. Also, much less
wind! Again, we enjoyed a quiet morning in the living room, mom and I were on
our phones scrolling social media, while Hubby & The Kiddo were rapid-fire
talking about video games.
Around
noon, we were ready for lunch, so we tried another Downtown Branson place,
called Branson Café (so original), and wow… I think we were the youngest people
there! Apparently a lot of tour buses stop in Downtown Branson, and many of the
tour participants came here for lunch. We had to wait for about 10 minutes or
so until we got a booth (a very small booth). Hubby got a hot ham & cheese
with fries. Kiddo got French toast. I, for the first time ever in my life,
ordered a single order of biscuits & gravy and a side of bacon. And I hate
to say it… I wasn’t impressed. I don’t know if they were using a prepared
gravy (like from Sysco), or if it was scratch-made, but it was just boring! The
biscuit was just okay and not up to the same quality as Billy Gail’s or
Farmhouse. The bacon was fine. Everyone else enjoyed their meals as well.
Biscuits & Gravy (no sausage)
Hot Ham & Cheese with Fries
I don’t know what possessed us, but after brunch, we actually went over to Mr. B’s Ice Cream, thinking we could get a little treat to tide us over until we ate dinner, but holy moly, look at the size of these scoops! Hubby got double chocolate dish, Kiddo got a chocolate waffle cone, and I got a bubble gum dish.
Single Scoop of Bubble Gum
Double Scoop of Chocolate in a Waffle Cone
Stuffed
to the gills with biscuits and ice cream, we rolled back to the car and headed
to our next stop, Silver Dollar City! I had been looking forward to this so
much; one, because it’s a theme park with rides and tasty food (though I’m too
stuffed to jump at this point), and two, because it’s consistently voted as the
country’s best holiday event. They decorate pretty much every single square inch of the park with over 6.5 million lights and I was ready to immerse myself in some Christmas twinkle.
8 Time Winner of America's Best Holiday Event
We
parked quite far away and at first, I thought that we were going to have to
walk all the way up to the front (about 15 minute walk), but we saw that there
was a Shuttle Stop nearby, so we hopped on to a janky old school bus that took
us all the way up to the front gate. At the front, I’d estimate that the lines
to get through security had maybe 10 people, and it was hilarious to
hear people mumble about how busy it was, like, y’all… Crowd levels at Disney
World this week would have been through the roof… this ain’t that bad. Once
inside we just started walking, honestly. I had no plan. I just wanted to enjoy
the day, enjoy the scenery, and how beautiful the park was. The first place we
ended up was the roller coaster Thunderationand all three of us immediately got in line. Mom stayed
behind as our Bag Holder. It took a few minutes to make it through the line,
and then we were off.
I originally thought
this ride was going to be similar to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and it was,
but a lot faster and a little bit rougher. All roller coasters have one of
those low, flat circles, and those always make me feel icky, and it
was about that time that I realized…
I
NEVER TOOK DRAMAMINE!
SON OF A BITCH!!!!
All three of
us loved the ride, though, and it was a good start to the afternoon. Next, we
wanted to ride Time Traveler, but I wanted to let the Dramamine I just took
kick in, so we wandered some more. I told everyone that I wanted to do the
Marvel Cave Tour, so we had a little bit of time to kill before we headed up
there to check in. I also wanted to ride the Magnificent Wave Carousel (chain
swings) but no one else wanted to ride with me, so I skipped it. We watched
ElectroSpinwhich made me want to vomit, and then, we had the
silliest idea ever… Let’s go ride some of the kid’s rides. First up, Happy Frogs!
Oh, it seems like such a simple ride....
Hubby
stayed with Mom, while me and The Kiddo got in line, fully expecting the ride
operator to tell us that we couldn’t do it because we didn’t have children with
us, or that we were too big to ride (we’re both over 200lbs). But to my
surprise, she let us ride! She balanced us, like on a clock, with me on one
side and Kiddo on the other.
She's ready to go!
I waved at Hubby as the ride began, fully assuming
that it was going to be a simple spin-in-a-circle ride like Dumbo, but oh no! This bitch
BOUNCED! (Obviously, in hindsight… it’s a frog ride). And every time the ride
made a revolution, it sped up a little bit, and every time the frog bounced, it
bounced HIGHER. After the first two or three bounces, I got the giggles. I came
around again, and I could hear some people in the crowd start to notice that I
had the giggles. Then they started laughing (along, not at), watching me on this
ride. Then I really got into it, and every time it bounced, I kind of smooshed
myself downward to get the most BOUNCE out of the bounce, if that makes sense. All
the while, laughing so hard I can’t breathe, which made the crowd laugh harder.
It was without a doubt the funniest 5 minutes I’ve had in quite a while.
We got
off the ride, both of us just laughing like hell as we met up with Hubby and
Mom. Hubby said that, for them, it was the funniest they’ve seen in quite a
while, too. A few people in the crowd came over and clapped me on the back, and
I told them it was their turn, go get on that frog! I found out that Hubby used
Kiddo’s cell phone to take photos and video, so if I ever get that from her, I
HAVE TO put it here!
Mom and Hubby waiting for us to ride
Anyway,
next up, the three of us did the Racing Regatta, which reminded us of that
old-school carnival ride The Himalaya. Again, because we’re big adults,
we each got our own boat, balanced across the circle. I didn’t like this one
nearly as much as the frog… it was too much up-and-down. This ride had 6+ hills, so it was a constant up-and-down, making my stomach
feel queasy. And it felt like it went on for much longer than the frog… I was
glad when it was over!
With
the light dropping, we made our way back to the front of the park to check in
for the Marvel Cave Tour. As we stood there, Hubby noticed a very important
sign that said participants would need to walk in a bent-over fashion for a
certain amount of time, since the cave walkway was short. Everyone kind of
balked at that, so we all decided to skip it, sadly… I was bummed, because I
really wanted to do it, but if I’d known there was some size/posture
restrictions, I would have written it off and not planned on doing it.
From
here, we walked back to the Main Street area, and we caught one of the
Christmas Tree lighting/shows. It was cute and quick, with a definite religious
slant to it (which I loved).
My two favorite ladies
Merry Christmas to You
We walked through the park some more, enjoying the
gorgeous Christmas lights, but I do have to say… maybe too many lights?
Especially once it got dark, the lights lent to a lack of depth perception, and
that lent to a difficulty in differentiating between the buildings. I ended
using Google Maps to take us over to The Fire District so that we could ride TheFlooded Mine. I didn’t really know what to expect, but it turned out to be
a cross between a water boat ride (like Pirates of the Caribbean) and a shooter
game (like Toy Story Midway Mania). We sat in a rickety boat with some very
realistic six-shooters (but actually lasers) and shot at targets as we passed
by. Out of all of us, it was MOM who got the high score! Though, I will say
this… at the very end of the ride, when you think that there’s nothing else to
shoot at, look up and to the left; there’s a single bullseye up there that you
can shoot repeatedly to gain more points.
Since
we were nearby, the three of us went over to ride SDC’s newest coaster, Fire in the Hole. It’s an indoor coaster with three drops, onboard audio,
and a water splashdown. This had the second-longest wait at maybe 10
minutes. Again, Mom stayed behind to hold our bags. The ride was really fun and
not a “scary” coaster, which is exactly what I wanted.
Finally
though, all of us were running out of steam. Part of that could be the massive
hills we had to walk up and down (I mean, one of the main walkways is known as
Cardiac Hill), but also because we hadn’t had anything to eat since Mr. B’s.
But I refused to leave without the best thing you could possibly get at
this park… Cinnamon Bread! Here we found the longest wait. For bread? Hubby
& The Kiddo found a bench outside and sat waiting for us, while Mom and I got in
line for bread. We chatted with a couple behind us about the area, the crowd
levels, until it was our turn to get some bread. I knew that we would be
getting a full loaf, but somehow was still surprised when we got… a full loaf
of bread! Warm, cinnamon-y, light as a feather, bread. I watched as an employee took this pan of bread and ran it under a condiment dispenser, full of warm, gooey, icing before she handed it to me. I didn’t realize that
there was some seating inside, so we went outside to get Hubby & The Kiddo,
then came back inside.
Unfortunately, Hubby was in a snit, saying that he
didn’t want to go inside, he was done and wanted to leave. I told him to
just suck it up for 10 minutes so we could try this bread. So he sulked and
refused to even try the bread, while we ladies dug in to this pillowy, fragrant, heavenly goodness. I can’t really even begin to explain how good this was. It wasn’t a
typical loaf of bread, or a donut, or a quick bread. It was voluminous,
ballooning out of the pan, and once you stabbed it with a
knife in an unsuccessful attempt to cut it into slices, it started to deflate, but in a good way. Each of us took a quarter of
the loaf and devoured it. I saved the final quarter for Hubby, in case he
wanted it later (he never did, so that was a waste of bread that I could have
inhaled!)
$9.99 per Loaf
Now
with a black cloud over us (because of his mood), we made our way out of the
park and back to the trams. When we got dropped off, I suggested to Hubby that
he go ahead of us, since he walks faster than we do, and he could warm up the
car for us. It gave him a purpose (to override the gloomy mood), and it allowed
the three of us to walk at a slower pace (we didn’t have to keep up with him),
and enjoy the night. When we met up with him at the car, though, bless his
heart... He’d started the car to warm it up, and as we got close, he opened all
the doors for us, like a chivalrous man should always do… but by doing so, let
all the warm out of the cabin, lol!
We all
piled in and waited for the warmth to return to our fingers and toes, and I
asked Hubby if he was doing okay. He apologized for his mood – he said that when he got back
to the car to start it, he saw a bottle of water and sucked it down in one
gulp. He realized that he was probably in a funk and feeling crappy because he
hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since ice cream, and he was probably
dehydrated. As I’ve been fighting with him about drinking more water in “real
life,” this was massive for him… He’s learning, good for him!
Despite
the delicious bread, we were all starving, so we drove over to Hollister to go
to Hook & Ladder Pizza. Unfortunately, this is when the night kind of went
off the rails. Hubby is a person who doesn’t always acknowledge when someone is
talking to him. Mom is a person who will continue to talk to a person until
they acknowledge her. So, as hubby and I were talking about him drinking the
bottle of water, Mom, in her infinitely loving way, told him that if he needed a
bottle of water, she had one in her purse. He never said anything to her, so
she assumed that he didn’t hear her, and said it again. He continued to talk with
me, she continued to talk. After a few minutes of this, he finally barked back
at her, “If I wanted more water I would have asked,” and went back to talking
to me. Not the best way of communicating with a 70+ year old woman, but I was
just too tired to play peacemaker. So the ride to dinner was much quieter after
that, as was dinner itself.
Pepperoni Pizza (Top), Sausage Pizza, Breadsticks
The
inside of the restaurant was absolutely plastered with fireman or first
responder patches and other firefighter paraphernalia. The cashier was busy as
hell, taking orders and running dishes to the dining room, so it took 10
minutes or so to actually order. Both me and the kiddo got a pepperoni personal
pizza; Hubby got a sausage personal pizza. We ordered a plate of garlic
breadsticks for the table. The breadsticks were delicious, as was my pizza.
Hubby didn’t like his – the sausage was cooked under the cheese, instead
of on top of the cheese, so it gave it all a weird, slimy-ish mouthfeel, and he opted to
steal some of my pizza instead. Basically, he just had a crappy few hours.
When
we woke up on Friday, mom pulled me aside and said that she planned to tap out
today. She was tired and headache-y, and thought that she’d just curl up on the
couch for a quiet day. We could do dinner later. I told Hubby this, and he said
that mom was being "butthurt" because he yelled at her last night. Which option
was the right one, who knows. But I felt bad either way, because I really
wanted mom to do all the fun stuff with us. But I had to respect her boundaries
(though I felt like a terrible daughter). Plus, looking back now, it was good
that she didn’t go… It never got much warmer than 50º and being outside for
much of the day in that weather, she would have been uncomfortable, and
possibly would have wanted to tap out after the first place anyway, so for her
comfort, staying at the VRBO was definitely the better choice.
That meant that today was just the three of us, like old times, and I won’t lie, I missed my kiddo! She’s been on her own since 2021, it was wonderful to all be together again. She wanted to go back to Billy Gail’s for breakfast (she loved their French toast), so that’s where we went! She got another plate of French toast, Hubby got a delicious cheeseburger, and my fat ass opted for Chicken Fried Chicken, with fries, mashed potatoes, and cornbread, and holy crap! It was TWO full-size chicken breasts, absolutely smothered in white gravy (not sausage gravy). I didn’t even realize at first that there was two, since the top one was so big. I kept chipping away at the first one, and barely made a dent in it; when I moved it to get more space on my plate – that’s when I discovered the second one! Oh no… I left so much food on that plate, I felt really badly, but I had no room!
We let our food settle as we drove back to Shepherd of the Hills, because it was zipline time, baby!!!! The second thing I was looking forward to this trip was to throw myself off a building a few times. We asked the kiddo if she wanted to do this (super-scared of heights), and she seemed willing to try. Hubby kept trying to tell her it’d be okay (he’s also scared of heights). The cashier was quick to tell us that if someone chickened out, there were no refunds; I said that if she didn’t go, I’d go again. So all three of us went up to the 14th floor and her panic set in. And it got so much worse when the staff member came to take us to the platform. She was so scared she was crying and said she felt bad for letting us down, but she couldn’t do it. We e consoled her and told her that it was fine, she wasn’t letting us down. Though she did have the option to stay and watch from the platform, she opted to go back up the stairs and right back down the elevator to the ground instead. I felt so bad that she was so upset, but she really did feel like she could do it… when she was still safely on the ground.
So, it was just hubby and me. He’d already done Parakeet Pete, but that was at night when you couldn’t see anything below; I wondered how he’d handle this version. Well, let me tell ya… he handled it like a champ. He was very chatty with the employee who was strapping him in, and asked for a 3-2-1 countdown. And then, we were ziplining! For some reason, my line was much faster than his, so I couldn’t watch him at all, but I did look back near the beginning and he was smiling like a fool. When we landed and got out of the slings, he gave me a huge hug and said it was the coolest thing he’d ever done! He was like a little boy the entire ride back up to the front of the park, I was so happy he enjoyed it.
We
found our daughter and asked how she was doing now that she’d had time to chill
out and relax and she said she felt much better. Not enough to do it, of
course, but her panic attack had abated. We went inside to pay for another ride
for one of us (the other was using the kiddo’s unused ride), then gave her the
keys for the car so she could sit inside until we were done.
On the
second ride, we were paired with an adorable middle-age couple from the Chicago
area, and the wife was very anxious about the ride. We chatted with them about
the ride and what to expect. We let them go first (to get strapped in), and
then we got strapped in, this time with Hubby on the outside seat (that’s a big
deal that he felt safe enough to do that; he’s big on “middle seat” options).
This time, my line was the slowest, but that worked in my favor because I was
able to see (and record with my GoPro) everyone. At one point, hubby
even let go of the straps and stuck his arms out!
On the
tram ride back to the front we all talked about the ride, about the freezing
weather, and just general chitchat. The wife was bummed that she didn’t take
any photos to prove that she did it, and I told her I’d be glad to share my
GoPro footage with her (which I did when I got home, though I don’t know if she
got it because she never replied back…).
We
caught up with the kiddo at the car and headed back inside a third time, this
time to get tickets for the Copperhead Mountain Coaster. https://theshepherdofthehills.com/coaster/ We also got hubby a souvenir tee-shirt so he could brag
to all his friends that he ziplined. TWICE. There weren’t any shirts available
in 2x or 3x, so both of us ladies were out of luck… ah, the curse of the
chesticles.
This
was the kiddo’s first time doing a mountain coaster and she loved it! Which is
a good thing, because we’re doing all the coasters in Branson! Next up
was the Runaway Mountain Coaster at Branson Mountain Adventure Park. https://www.bransonalpinemountaincoaster.com/coaster This one was a little bit out of town in a pretty,
secluded area, in Fall Creek, between Branson and Table Rock. This one, said to
be the longest mountain coaster in the Midwest {over 4900 feet}, had a
1900ft uphill track to begin, and then 3000ft of downhill thrills. Though, to
be fair, Copperhead is 4800 feet, so it’s not that much longer. But the
uphill at the beginning was interesting, because they put some fake animals in
the brush and piped in corresponding noises while giving us some nature
lessons. This ride was my favorite, but I can’t put into words why. It was just
a little more thrilling, a little more scenic, and just a little more…
everything.
Our
final coaster was situated right on the 76 strip, The Branson Coaster, https://www.thebransoncoaster.com/ and this one gave
me “Tourist Trap” vibes from the get-go. Staff were there to move bodies, not
provide an experience. The coaster cars were a little beat up and
uncomfortable. The cashier who sold us our tickets spent more time mumbling and
trying to make jokes (that we couldn’t hear) than to speak clearly and make
sure we knew what we were doing. The ride started with a downhill (like
Copperhead) and after only 30 seconds or so, it felt like it was over… what the
hell? Oh, no, that was a fake out! There’s still another half of the ride to
go! That’s fun, I suppose. But you took away all of my momentum. Maybe that was
the point? This was also the only one that gave me a business card after and
begged me to leave reviews on TripAdvisor and Google.
Thoroughly
adrenalined-out, we sat in the car and decided what we wanted to do next. The
Kiddo wanted to go back to Dick’s 5 & 10 because she had some souvenir
money to burn and she wanted one of the cool dragon things she saw last time we
were there. So downtown we went! We stood in front of a shelf for about an
hour, trying to decide which one she wanted. She thought about her budget. She
thought about where she’d put it. She thought about which one would look best
in the place she wanted to put it. And with all that, when she finally found the
one, she was like a proud mama. We also found some souvenir tee-shirts
(mine was on clearance!) and picked those up, along with a few Christmas
ornaments and a magnet (of course!). While we shopped, I texted mom to see if
she was up for dinner with us, and she declined, stating that she was
comfy-cozy in bed with her bowl of leftover Dairyland chili for dinner. Okay…
either she still feels icky, or still feels slighted.
We
ended up at Culver’s for dinner; sometimes you just need fast food. More
burgers and chicken tenders. After that, we treated ourselves to Mint Chip
milkshakes at Chick-fil-A down the road and brought them back to the VRBO with
us. We all talked about our day, but eventually had to do the sad thing, and
pack. We were leaving early in the morning, and I didn’t want to have to do
much packing in the morning.
Well,
we’re back from our bougie family vacation in Branson, and holy shit, I’m
tired!
Oh,
and to point out as we start this – one thing you’ll notice is that there’s not
a whole lot of photos, which just seems wrong, right? Nah. I ended up just
being in the moment and enjoying my family that taking tons of photos never
once crossed my mind!
But
let’s back up…
On
Tuesday, Hubby and I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn, about 3am. We loaded up
the car and headed south to pick up my mother. We stopped along the way for a
vat of Pepsi, and later, a few sausage biscuits to tide us over through the
first flight.
Traffic
was light on the interstate and we got to mom’s around 7am. My aunt was still
asleep, so we didn’t have to dodge that chatty bullet (I love her, but she
chats!). I filled up my water bottle with ice from mom’s freezer, then loaded
up her luggage and made our way south again, to Tampa. We got our parking spot and rolled our way into the airport, stopping
for the obligatory photo with Phoebe (didn’t come out so well, but it’s a good
representation of how tired I was already!) We rode the fun little monorail to
our terminal, and went through TSA. None of us got dinged for anything, and
they even just waved mom through with no scan or detector!
Yes, that is a massive flamingo statue in the middle of an airport
We had
plenty of time to kill at our gate, so we all vegged out on our phones. For
those of you who remember the Great Eclipse Dramamine Debacle of 2024,
let me tell you about The Dramamine Plan! I bought these cool little pill
keychains and filled them with Dramamine and Aleve. I gave one to Hubby,
clipped one on my Bagallini, and another to my beltloop. I also set alarms on
my phone to tell me to take the damn Dramamine, and I’m happy to report that
this plan worked wonderfully, and no airsickness was to be had. I now return
you to your previously scheduled vacation blog…
At 8:30am,
I got a text from The Kiddo that her flight from Milwaukee had been pushed back
30 minutes. Then another 30 minutes. Then another… The safe, two-hour layover I
planned for her in Chicago kept shrinking; I worried about her running through
O’Hare like the McCallisters, trying to catch her flight to Springfield!
She
then texted that they were able to get her on a different Milwaukee-to-Chicago
(MtC) flight that should arrive in Chicago with time to spare, so I felt a
little bit better as we got on our own first flight (to Charlotte).
Hubby understood the plan; mom didn't realize I was taking a photo!
When we
landed, I texted her to see what was happening, and she said that {because her
first original flight was due to land after her second flight took off},
American automatically rebooked her on a different Chicago-to-Springfield (CtS)
flight that would arrive at 6:30pm!! She was originally supposed to arrive in
Springfield around 2pm (we’d arrive at 3pm). She was able to get on the Standby
List (and later on the flight)
for a different flight that would get her to Springfield around the same
time, but because her luggage was already set to fly on the new flight,
it wouldn’t arrive until later. Not the
best news, but we could always check in at our VRBO then drive back to pick up
her bags.
She
got on her flight at almost the same time we got on ours, and the lucky duck
got an entire row to herself in a front row of economy! She landed about
20 minutes before we did, and decided to go check Baggage Claim anyway, just in
case, and thank god… her luggage was there waiting for her! They were able to
pull it off the other flight and squeeze it on to this flight, which means that
there’s no need to come back to Springfield later.
2nd Flight, let's go!
Hugs
all around as we met up with her at the baggage carousel, then we headed over
to pick up the rental from Hertz. My car was almost ready, and by the
time we finished the transaction, they had it waiting for me at the curb, right
outside – didn’t even have to go find it in the lot (as small as that lot
actually was). We ended up with a 2025 Chevy Equinox SUV, which was very
spacious and comfy, and a tank to drive. It got great gas mileage, too…
never filled up during the entire trip. I didn’t love it, though. It was clunky
to drive, needed large amounts of space to stop, the remote start didn’t work
most of the time, and you had to go outside to open the back hatch. The tech
inside was neat, like the google map showing up on the dashboard, not just the infotainment
screen. But other than that, it was definitely not a vehicle I’d add to my “I’d
buy that” list. It cost about the same as my Nissan Altima, and I love her so
much more!
The
drive to Springfield was quick, though we did stop for sodas and Icees at a
very janky Maverick. Checking in for our VRBO only took minutes, and they never
tried to upsell me anything like show tickets or the like. Our apartment we
booked was on the top floor of a 3-level condo (where the 2nd floor
was actually level with the parking lot). So we had to lug all of our suitcases
upstairs, but it wasn’t too bad. Mom got the downstairs room, Kiddo got the
upstairs room, and we took the master bedroom in the
back. We all settled in to our rooms for a bit then converged again in the
living room to decide on dinner.
A terrible photo of an amazing Ozark sunset
We chose The Farmhouse Restaurant in downtown
Branson, which was AMAZING! It was later in the evening, so it was quiet, which
worked in our favor, as the dining room could probably only hold 50 people. Hubby
and The Kiddo both got a burger & fries (which was delicious). I got silver
dollar pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, & a biscuit, and let me tell you…
this is a breakfast made in heaven. The biscuit was pillowy and buttery and
soft; the pancakes were just the right texture and firmness to stand up to
butter and maple syrup without disintegrating, and the bacon… oh the bacon was
fatty and salty and unctuous and amazing. Yeah, it was definitely the
right choice for our first meal in Branson (but could anything live up to it?)
Burger & Seasoned Fries, cooked to perfection
Silver Dollar Pancakes, Scrambled Eggs, Bacon, and Biscuit
After
rolling ourselves out of The Farmhouse, we walked up and down Main Street but
by then pretty much everything was closed (typical of Branson, we learned!), so we pointed
the car to Walmart to pick up our online order (drinks, snacks, etc). Mom had
never done a pick-up before, so she was very interested in the process and how
well it worked. She said that she’d maybe do one when she got home, to see how
her store handled it.
Back
at the house, we put all of our groceries away, and as I always do, I ordered
way too much stuff. I’d gotten Pepsi, Mtn Dew, Diet Coke, Caffeine Free Diet
Coke, and bottled water. I got two types of Little Debbies, some Slim Jims, and
a variety box of chips. I even got a package of TP (mostly because mom swore
that every time she’d been at a VRBO they ran out of TP. Spoiler alert... we never ran out of
TP). Oh, and a box of half-gallon freezer bags. Did you know they made
half-gallon size freezer bags? I didn’t! Now I love them and want them all the
time. Anyway, we all went our separate ways for the night and went to sleep.
Wednesday
dawned cold and blustery, only 45º when we all got out of bed. We decided to do
breakfast at a local favorite, Billy Gail’s, and holy moly, I see why it’s a
favorite! The Kiddo ordered French Toast with eggs, grits, sausage,
and a biscuit. Hubby ordered scrambled eggs with sausage and a biscuit. I
thought I’d be clever and get a single scrambled egg, a biscuit, their fancy
“Million Dollar Bacon” and a single pancake. Now, this place is famous for
their 14-Inch Sweet Cream pancakes, but their menu was laid out so it looked
like you could get this massive pancake OR a short stack of regular pancakes.
So I ordered one. And, y’all… this pancake was massive. It was the size of a
frozen pizza! It took up half the table! Everyone helped me eat it, but I think
that ¾ of it stayed untouched, unfortunately. It was delicious, and everyone
should get one, but be known that it’s MASSIVE and you’ll be stuffed if you try
to eat IT and any other food too. The “Million Dollar Bacon” was “Fifty Dollar
Bacon,” not nearly as sweet, savory, or spicy as promised; plus it was a little
overcooked and tasted like it sat around a while. Oh well… The biscuits were a
tasty runner-up to The Farmhouse. Everyone loved their meals.
French Toast, Scrambled Eggs, Sausage, Cheese Grits, Biscuit
Scrambled Eggs, Sausage, Biscuit
Scrambled Eggs, Biscuit, "Million Dollar Bacon," Pancake
When
The Kiddo got her luggage from the carousel last night, she saw that she’d
broken one of the wheels on it, so today was an adventure to get her a new
suitcase. We decided to hit up some thrift shops first, since we’re in a heavy
tourist area; if we didn’t get lucky there, we’d head over to Walmart.
Our
first stop, Elevate, was lovely, but very small. A little bit of everything,
but no luggage to be found. Next, we went over to the Branson Humane Society thrift store, and we found a great, barely used, Samsonite carry-on roller bag
for just ten bucks! No stink or smell, no little bits of detritus in the seams.
We also found a really nice leather computer briefcase/roller bag that could be
used as her Personal Item, so we snagged that up as well. Twenty bucks for two
pieces of luggage that will keep her travelling for quite a while? Yes please!
On the
way back to the VRBO, we stopped at Hurts Donut for some treats to bring back. Everyone picked up three
donuts (I think it cost about $30, oof). Now, I say this with love, but… it
didn’t feel the same in there. Like, when we were there in 2021 there
was this fun, funky vibe to it, but this time around, the vibe was “Yeah, we’re
super-cool and you know it so give me five bucks for a donut so you can feel
cool too.” It’s hard to explain why I wasn’t nearly as impressed with them as I
was last time… maybe I was expecting too much?
Butterfinger Chocolate Cake, Lemon, Slim Shady, THE Brownie, Jesus, Birthday Cake, Jesus, Maple, Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, and German Chocolate (I don't remember what the two missing ones are!)
Back
at the house, we all just vegged out on the couch and ate a donut and chatted
about nothing important (seriously, getting The Hubby and The Kiddo together is
like a nerdy ComiCon) for a few hours. We threw on some layers, as we were
heading out into the cold to do some shopping and ziplining at Branson Landing.
First
up, we went to Dick’s 5 & 10. I expected a small, tourist-tacky type store, but this was something else. There were probably 30 aisles,
3 deep, that just kept going back and back. Everything you could think
of was in this store. Some touristy, some kitschy, some quirky, some useful,
some nostalgic, some silly… some of everything! Originally, I was hoping to get
some bottled beverages for a Weirdos video, as well as some nostalgic or wacky
foods to try – I had a vision of all four of us trying weird stuff and making a
video. But it seemed like the choices were “normal candy that was marked way
up” or “shitty candy from Japan that none of us want.” At some point, Hubby and
The Kiddo split up from me and mom, except for when Hubby came back to tell me
that there was something The Kiddo kept arguing with herself about buying but
didn’t want to blow so much of her budget on that item. So I snuck over there,
hid it in my coat and bought it for her for Christmas. I think, all in all, we
were in there for about two hours, and I honestly could have stayed for more.
Maybe we’ll go back before we leave.
Our
next stop was Branson Landing to ride Parakeet Pete’s Zipline. Mom had thought
that this was a good zipline to try out first since it seemed ‘calmer’ (?) than
the Shepherd one. Now, I do have to point out at this time, it was about 40º
outside, and at night. Right? Okay, let’s go. We walked up to the booth and
asked to ride, and the two attendants looked at us like we were insane. But
gladly took our fifty bucks. They put us in the seats – which were too shallow
for adult butts and extremely cold – and then made us get out so they could fix
something… yeah, that’s a vote of confidence right there… Back in the seats,
they strapped us in with simple lap belts and told us to have fun, and then we
were pulled backward and upward to the other side of the Tanycomo. It was a LOT
faster than I was expecting, and those shallow seats felt really shallow
with gravity doin’ its thing. At the top of the lift, we were let go and we
zipped back down over the river, again at that insanely steep angle, and after
about 15 seconds, we ‘landed’ at the bottom. It was a bit of a rough ride, and
scarier than I’d expected. It totally gave me "Unsafe County Fair Ride" vibes. Mom seemed to enjoy it at the time, but she didn’t really say
much about it, now that I think about it now…
After
we got out of the chairs, I asked Hubby and the Kiddo if they wanted to do it,
and The Kiddo was all “HELL NO!” but Hubby was open to it, so I immediately got
us paid up to do it again. I gave him a few heads’ up about what will happen
and then back we went. He wasn’t a huge fan of the backward part, nor the
waiting at the top part, but then they let us go and we zipped back down, and
he really enjoyed himself. I wore a GoPro for both of the trips, but like a
dumbass, I wore them facing OUT (like a POV shot) instead of pointing it at us
so I could record our reactions instead. I’ll share them below, anyway.
We
walked around Branson Landing afterward, but it was very cold, and very empty,
so we gave up and decided to hit up Billy Bob’s Dairyland for dinner. I think we got there within
an hour of them closing, because it was mostly empty. We all got burgers except
for Mom who got onion rings and a bowl of chili (she said it was delicious).
Burgers were okay, but tough and overcooked. Fries were delicious. Shakes were
meh. Definitely not the best meal we’d had in town, but they can’t all be
winners!
Cheeseburger & Crinkle Fries
Chili with Cheese & Onions
Tired
and full, we headed home. When the Kiddo went upstairs to potty, mom casually
said that she’d brought a card/money for The Kiddo for Christmas and wasn’t
sure when she should give it to her. Hubby had also brought a gift card for the
Nintendo Store, and I had the Funko Pop that we bought for her at Dick’s, so
when she came back down, we showered her with our little impromptu Christmas.
She and Hubby stayed up a while longer, taking Nerd Stuff, but mom and I went
to bed.
Tomorrow
is one of the two things that I’ve most been looking for this entire trip, and
I can’t wait!
