Why Lazy Got Nekkid in Front of a Chick

On the day of my first massage therapy session, I was very nervous. The office was in a beautiful old house (which I covet!) that had been turned into a holistic healing and women’s center – imagine Sheldon (from The Big Bang Theory) walking in and seeing crystals and Georgia O’Keefe paintings and hemp scarves and Female Empowerment plaques and you get an idea of what I was thinking when I got there.

Center For Balance - 1705 NW 6th Street

 I took a deep breath and followed my little massage lady to her room and we chatted. After I recanted the headache hell I had been living with, she told me to go ahead and lie down. I’m sure I sounded so meek when I asked her how naked I needed to be, but at least I got to keep my panties! Getting nekkid for the first time in that room was a milestone in and of itself!

<cue porn music here> I stripped down and crawled onto the table and covered myself like a wedding night virgin, waiting for her to come back in.  She began stoking the large muscles that line the spine, and after about 10 minutes or so of working on my back, she asked again how many visits I was prescribed. I told her six and she said, “Good, we’re going to need all of them, and then some!”  I think my therapist just said I was fucked up.…  I don’t think I relaxed one bit that entire hour with this little woman rubbing all over me with cocoa butter – but damn, I smelled like chocolate for hours, so that was cool.

I continued to see her 5 more times before going back to my doctor for a follow-up.  I was re-prescribed therapy, on a bi-weekly basis. I’ve changed what time I go, too. Now I go after work, since she has p.m. hours, and that’s a nice way to end the day! I’m all mellow when I get home and ready to curl up on the couch or into bed.

Anyway, I know you are all like, what’s this got to do with anything?  Relax, I’m getting there….