When my alarm went off at 2:45
this morning, I was not ready to get up!
I never sleep well before a race, so I think I was going to be doing
this on about 4 hours of sleep.
I finally dragged my ass out of
bed 20 minutes later. Curled up in my
robe, I debated scrambled eggs or cereal, but both options made me feel
nauseated. I tried to eat string cheese, but after 10 minutes, had only eaten ½
the piece. This nausea is a new wrinkle
to my race mornings, and I don’t like it. Luckily, I was able to at least drink
some OJ.
After doing my hair (I think I
did a braid in the back), I woke up the Hubby then went and got dressed.
Miraculously, we actually were ON
TIME and got out the door by 4am. It was
chilly outside, but not chilly enough for me to think about going back inside
for tights.
Our drive was pretty uneventful,
except for a stupid stray dog outside of Waldo, who had a death wish. I think I
missed hitting him by only a few inches. Certainly woke me up!
Due to construction (although, is
there ever NOT construction in Jax?), we missed the exit we needed, so we came
around via Alt-1. This turned out to be a GREAT shortcut (even though it was
further away) and I’ll have to remember that for whenever we need to go to
EverBank Field in the future.
We made good time and arrived
around 5:30. We parked and I went to
packet pickup, then to the bathroom. I
love that there are REAL bathrooms, at Metropolitan Park, that we can use. Since we got there so early, there was no
line, and I could even get a pic! (Yeah, I’m weird, but I like to know details,
so here’s some details).
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| Dirty Industrial Potty Pic, just for my readers! |
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| 6 or 7 stalls in this bathroom (Photo taken around 5:45am) |
I came back to the car and
attempted to eat some peanut butter. My
tummy was still unhappy, it was still hard to actually eat the food – it had no
taste, it was literally hard to swallow. So weird.
Anyway, I eventually geared up
and put on my bib. It was still chilly, with the stronger winds kicking up, so
I grabbed my sweater from the backseat to put on.
I hit the bathroom again, then
made my way to my ‘corral’ while Hubby made his way to the start line.
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| This is the potty line at 6:45. A lot different an hour later!!! |
I say ‘corral,’ but it was really just a
flag; 14 Minute Mile was the slowest pace listed, then just “Walker.” Sigh.
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| Geez, it must suck to be SO SLOW! Assholes. |
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| Hey, losers! You start back here! |
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| If you squint, you may be able to see the Start Line |
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| I look a lot more cheerful than I feel |
At this point, I realized that I
still had my sweater on! I peeled it off
and hoped that I would be able to toss it to Hubby when I passed him!
I lined up at the back of the 14
Minute Mile flag, but in front of the Walker flag. There was some chatting by the Race Director
guy, who mentioned that some dude had had a heart attack on the course a few
years ago, but was running it again this year.
I guess it was supposed to inspire, but it really just rammed home my
shortcomings of training.
Because of my new work schedule,
my training plan died months ago. My longest
run was only 8 miles, back in September.
Yeah, I know I’ve run half-marathons before, and I can barrel through
them, but I wasn’t feeling super-confident about this one. So, what was my plan to finish upright? I wanted to do 2/1 intervals, like I did in
St. Augustine last year. I planned to
alternate fuel at every even-numbered mile marker: GU at Miles 4, 8, 10 and 12; Chews at Miles 2
and 6. Also, I gave myself permission to
completely walk Miles 6 (or 7) through Mile 8, then walk the Riverwalk
Spiral. I had high hopes when signing up
to PR this race (my St Augustine time was 3:36:55), or at least beat my 2014 Celebration
time of 3:54:41.
I got everything locked and
loaded (Garmin, Nike, etc) and the singer began to perform the National Anthem.
About ¼ of the way through, though, her mic cut out. Little by little, over the course of a few
lines of the song, the entire crowd began to sing, getting louder and louder.
It was so awesome, I shed a tear or two. I love my anthem, and I love my
country! It was truly moving to hear how many others did too.
The race started with a literal
cannon boom (I wonder how Hubby handled that?!) and we were off!
Everyone had to go through the
Start Arch, so there was a bottleneck, trying to get through it. I gave my hubby
my sweater (which I’d long since taken off while chilling in my ‘corral’) and
began running down the road.
Weirdly, there was a water stop
set up at only .5 Mile. I didn’t see
anyone taking water – but I sure hope it’s still there at mile 12.6!
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| Spoiler Alert - they were there 4 hours later; they didn't seem happy about it |
As with pretty much every race
I’ve ever run in Jax, we passed the Maxwell House factory. I don’t drink coffee
(it’s bitter and nasty), but damn if I don’t love the SMELL!
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| The best part of waking up... oh |
For the first mile, these 4
bitches kept walking 4 across blocking people. They’d interval and get in front
of someone (usually me), then slow to a walk with no warning. EXTREMELY
unprofessional.
I was passed by a group of what
may have been high school ROTC kids (they looked pretty young). The caller was doing a comedic cadence,
saying things like “Turn around and go right back,” or “I forgot to eat
breakfast,” weirdly random stuff. The
kids were into it though!
I made it to Mile 1 and soon the
half-marathon folks (me) split from the 5k folks (annoying 4-way broads) at the
entrance to the Main Street Bridge. Bye bye, 5k wussies!
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| Yay MIle 1! Boo, shitty pace time |
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| See ya, losers! |
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| Go block someone else's way! |
I crossed the Main Street bridge,
easy peasy – I’ve done this bridge a bunch of times now! After coming down the
bridge, we pulled a hairpin turn headed towards Mile 2.
Mile 2 was the beginning of the
Acosta Bridge. The most hellacious bridge I’ve ever been on (and I’ve been on
the Hart Bridge…)
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| Mile 2 - Sucked up a Gu before the hell started |
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| Up, up and away! |
It seemed to go up forever. I was
seriously having palpitations, couldn’t catch my breath, it was terrible! (I
did some research after the race – while the Acosta and the Main Street bridges
are the same distance {.31 and .32 miles, respectively}, the Main Street Bridge
is only 35 feet above the water; Acosta is over twice that, at 81 feet above the
water – no wonder it felt like one hell of a climb!)
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| It. Just. Keeps. GOING! |
Finally, after what seemed like
20 minutes, DOWNhill!
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| Hello, Riverwalk Bridge thing. See you in a few hours. |
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| Ah, the sweet sight of a decline |
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| More, more! Go down! |
Okay, what the hell? It’s going
UP again? Who’s disgusting joke is
this? It went up and down and banked and
generally just made Mile 2 the worst mile ever.
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| Who in the hell planned this road? |
Finally, the hell is over, and
I’ve made it to Riverside. Here’s a
picture of a really ugly shopping center. Just thought you should know it was
ugly.
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| Who planned this? Way too many colors! |
Mile 3 was in front of Yates
YMCA. I wondered if there were people inside on treadmills watching us and
thinking we were stupid. While on a
treadmill. Inside. Going nowhere.
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| It's fun to stay at the .... |
Also, I love these vintage
octagonal cement sidewalks. They remind me of my Aunt Ginger’s house here in
Jax we visited when I was younger. I was too young to know WHERE in Jax she
lived, but I remember it was a beautiful 3-story house with a tiny backyard, near a corner store that sold small boxes of Fererra Pan
candies (Jawbusters, Boston Baked Peanuts, etc.) near her house. This was more
than 3 decades ago. But the sidewalks
made me wistful.
Anyway, I reminisced my way to
Mile 4.
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| Less than 10 miles to go! (Ate some Honey Stinger chews, too) |
And then Mile 5. As you can see, I’m pretty alone back here by
now. I don’t think I’ve been so alone so soon in a half-marathon before.
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| What are you guys running from? |
I was greeted by a bunch of
Edible Arrangements employees dressed as fruit handing out water, and runners were
coming back towards me.
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| No banana for scale |
I passed Mile 6, which was where
I had originally given myself permission to walk until Mile 7 or Mile 8.
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| Sucked on some Gu |
I crossed over the 10k mat. I wasn’t super happy with the time, but it’s
not terrible for me.
I’m falling way behind now, since
I’m only walking.
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| Wait for me! |
There was a cute “Go Mommy!” sign
tacked up to a telephone pole. Kind of
bummed me out because my family, while supportive, isn’t hang-up-a-sign
supportive, or hold-up-a-sign supportive.
They go, they cheer for me, but (mostly hubby) they aren’t all that into
it.
I passed an awesome group of
older homeowners handing out frozen mandarin orange slices and ice pops. I bet
you can guess which one I took!
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| Yum, purple flavored! |
I sucked my way to Mile 7, and
was finally on the back side of this race. We were headed back to the finish
line.
I passed another great family
spectating – they had 3 cutie kiddos (maybe 3 to 8 years old) giving high
fives, fist bumps and Tootsie Rolls. I graciously accepted all three!
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| It's just me and Big Blue up there |
I decided to stop running and
walk to Mile 8.
The fruity folks were gone, but
there was a random guy out playing the bongos.
Not really encouraging (he was playing bad reggae music – but then
again, is there any other kind?).
At this point, there is no one except Big Blue as
far as the eye can see.
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| You sir, suck. |
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| Officially the furthest length I've gone in my training (Also, more HS Chews) |
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| Hello? Anybody there |
I ran past some sort of Tri
running group – they were packing up their stuff, but all of them stopped to
cheer me on while I came through. Very
nice.
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| Thank you, running group whose name I can't remember! |
Okay, folks, I’ve made it to Mile
9. What do we call this mile? That’s
right – the Motherfucker Mile. The mile you want to quit. The mile that takes
forever. The mile that can make or break you. It will not break me. Ever.
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| The Motherfucker Mile™ |
I can see Big Blue Shirt way up ahead, past the trees… I’m
really behind.
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| All by myself... don't wanna be... all by myself |
I passed a 7-Eleven, and I really
just wanted to pull in for a Slurpee. I was ready to quit, but the Motherfucker
Mile won’t beat me…
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| Someone go get me some NACHOS! |
At this point, though, we were
told to get up on the sidewalk (which is Race Code for, “Damn, slow ass, you’re
holding up traffic with your fat ass trundling down the street in a stupid
skirt.” Okay, maybe that’s not what it means, but it sure is what I hear.) Screw you guys for only keeping the roads
open until 9:30AM! Seriously, in 10
minutes, all the runners would have been at the turn to the Riverwalk and off
the roads. It was a huge morale sucker.
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| Fuck you, sidewalk |
I caught up to Big Blue Shirt on the
sidewalk after the water stop and we ended up walking together for a few miles
(I remember thinking that I would come to regret the decision to slow down, and I was right). She was worried about getting lost. We chatted about random bullshit and I
completely missed snapping a pic of Mile 10.
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| Caught ya! I should've kept going |
Mile 11 was at the beginning of
the Riverwalk ramp, so we powered up, then walked down.
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| It's deceptively painful |
We passed this gorgeous yacht,
docked near Jacksonville Landing. I found out later that it was owned by Shahid
Kahn, owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars.
He’s a Pakistani who moved to the US in 1967 to go to school and became
a US citizen in 1991. He’s worth $5.6
billion, and the 360th wealthiest person in the world (the richest
Pakistani, by net worth!) I’d say he’s a
pretty good definition of “The American Dream.”
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| Pictures do NOT do it justice - it was gorgeous! |
Big Blue's friend, who had already
finished, came back to find her. She suggested we do 30/30 intervals, saying “you
can do anything for 30 seconds!” I
kept up for a few, then waved them on (I don’t think the friend was sad to see
me do that).
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| Bitch, I can beat your ass for 30 seconds. |
After they disappeared into the
horizon, I put my ear bud back in (I’d taken it out while we were chatting) and
recommenced my 2/1 intervals – I can do this!!
I made it to Mile 12 and realized
that I would not beat my St Augustine time.
OH, who’m I kidding? I knew this
race was shit from the top of that Acosta Bridge. I just want to finish at this
point.
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| Wait... if I run 1.1 miles in FOUR MINUTES I can totally PR this race! |
A cop pulled me over – so to
speak – to tell me that after the A. Phillip Randolph road, I would have to
walk in the grass so I wasn’t in the way of traffic. Geeee, such a
walker-friendly course ya got here.
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| Nothing says run like walking in soft grass |
I made it to Mile 13, and I might just beat my Celeb time! I quickened my pace as much as I could.
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| FOUR MINUTES - I can do this! The turn is right up there!!! |
I came in to Metro Park when that
herd of high school ROTC kids were carrying out cases of bananas and water (did
you leave me any?). They didn’t get out
of the way, either! Seriously, I had to go around them. I also didn’t see a
sign of which way to go until I was right near the back of a tank (no, seriously,
a fucking TANK). I turned right and saw
the finish line.
Wow, so crowds. Much support.
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| Feels crowded |
I crossed the finish line with
hardly any cheering – there were about 10 people there, including hubby, but I
got my medal and my cool pint glass. I didn’t see anyone handing out water.
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| Ooh-Rah, I finished! |
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| Mani shot! |
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| Great pint glass |
I got my hug from hubby, and
since it certainly wasn’t busy, hung around the finish line to change my shoes
and take my finish line photo.
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| Lady on the left (I'm thinking) - "See that girl, she's a badass. AND she did it in a skirt!" |
I told
him about the race. I found Big Blue and congratulated her. We walked around the sad-ass after party (though,
as you can see from the Drone Video, it was a lot busier earlier) and
I headed to the ladies’ room (again, every stall empty) to change clothes.
My official time was 3:49:59, so
I did beat my Celebration 2014 time. My
10k split time was 1:46:45. I beat a
whopping THREE people and came in 139th out of 140 in my age
group.
(When I got home, I photo-stalked
Big Blue and found out her name was Claire Willis, and she came in a few
minutes before me at 3:45:29)
Speed Banana did photos, but for
me at the back, they were NOWHERE to be found on the course. I got a big
whopping FOUR photos at the finish line and they all look exactly the
same.
After changing, we grabbed some lunch and just headed home. I was tired and in a grumpy mood. I did take a few pics of the swag I got in my packet.
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| Hand lanyard with keychain and carabiner -I use this for my work keys |
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| Whistle with strobe light on a lanyard (I attached to my backpack for work safety) |
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| Collapsible water bottle |
So, what did I think of this
race? Would I do it again? Nope.
This race was not fun. I didn’t feel like I was part of a running
community, coming together to have a fun time.
1st Place Sports puts on some great races, but this wasn’t
one of them for me. Much of it is because I am slow – no spectators, no
photographers, no after-party; all these things were gone by the time I got to
where they had been. Who wants to sit at a finish line for 4 hours to cheer on
some fat chick in a skirt? All the real runners had already finished. I was
pissed that I’d been shoved to sidewalks and grass. I was mad that no one at
the finish line congratulated me (besides my hubby) and there wasn’t even any
water. I was just over it. I was
extra-pissed because I was so looking forward to an awesome race that benefited
military causes, and the race wasn’t awesome. It was hard, and the payoff wasn’t
worth it. I’ll find something different next year.
Location: Jacksonville FL
Host: 1st Place Sports
Race Fee: $40
Packet Pickup: Available at 5 locations in Jax or P/U on Race Day
Parking: Ample, in lots J and D, across the street from Metro Park
(at Stadium)
Support: (on-course) Water stations, I don’t remember any sports
drink or fuel
After Party: WHAT after party?
90% of the tents AND people were gone when I got there
