This is Why I Hate Leaving My House Unattended...

 So this is certainly not a post I wanted to make. 

A little Lazy Lady History Moment... 

When we moved into this house, we had someone break in within a year. We'd gone out to see the fireworks on Independence Day and came back to a mostly normal looking house... I went into our bedroom and saw the cable box thrown on the bed. I asked hubby if he'd done that, and he said no. As we looked around more closely, we could see that the unpacked boxes in front of the back door (which is in our Master Bedroom) were pushed forward. He went back into his office and saw that tons of video games and gaming systems and other tech paraphernalia were missing. In my office, some luggage was missing, as were a few storage totes. We (and the cops) assumed that kids broke in via the back door, used the luggage and totes to collect stuff they were stealing, but were interrupted and ran away when they heard us come home. They could have been in the house just moments before we came in. To this day, I get The Antsies when the house is empty for more than a day... I worry that I'm coming back to a burgled house and we're wiped out completely clean, like you see on TV.

It didn't happen like that, but we were burgled again this morning.

I was working from home, and hubby called at 9:30. His employer was forcing everyone to wear masks again (ugh), and he just couldn't do it again, so he called me to come get him. I wrapped up what I was doing and left right about 10am. I picked him up, stopped at the ATM near the house for some cash to put into The Kiddo's Christmas card, then headed home. 

He went around the back of the house, looking for the local stray pregnant cat to check on her. As I got out of the car, I saw a black hat on the front walk. Only thinking that it blew onto our property from the busy road, I walked down to the street to hang it on a tree, in case the owner came looking for it. I got about halfway when I saw hubby running along the side of the house, telling me to call 911 because someone was IN the house! 

I pushed the emergency button on the alarm system key fob while I fumbled my cell phone and called 911. Local police pulled up in force, probably seven or eight cars, including K9 officer Mikey. They checked the surroundings, looking to see if the bad guys were in the bushes. Then they checked the house with the K9, guns drawn, and reported all clear. Meanwhile hubby and I are on the sidewalk giving our statements to another officer (and freezing our balls off... it's December, and I'm just in flip flops and lounge pants, since I only planned on being in the car!)

One officer had us follow him around the interior of the house and point out anything that was out of the ordinary. Except for moved furniture and slight messes because of Officer Mikey, everything seemed fine. It looked like the burglar pulled out five or six panes of glass from the office's jalousie window and reached in to grab Hubby's Nintendo Switch, which he kept on a charging dock on a shelf in front of the window (hindsight reveals that this was a stupid place to charge an expensive electronic device!). There were no footprints or shoe marks on the windowsill, and no dirt or leaves inside the room, so the police think that he was never in the house. Maybe he only wanted the Switch, or maybe we showed up before he could get into the house and steal more things. The officer was able to get a fresh fingerprint from the windowsill, so we might get lucky with a match (and let's hear it for lazy homeowners who don't clean all the time, right?!) The detective said that they'd get back with us in the next day or so. They didn't, actually, but cut them some slack, since it was the week of Christmas. 

Our cat Clover (who is already skittish) was traumatized... it took her about 3 hours to come out of hiding! Lord only knows what went through her mind when big ol' Belgian Malinois Mikey came tearing through the house!

The rough removal of the window glass slats fucked up the window hardware, but we were able to slide the panes back in and tape them with Gorilla Tape for now; eventually we'll need to replace the entire window. Despite the damage to the window, and the loss of the electronics, I think we're going to skip reporting this to our insurance provider. Our deductible is about $1000, and the window and Nintendo would cost just about that to replace, so it's not really worth the hassle (and the increased premiums down the road, either). 

So, my afternoon was spent trying to chill out and stop freaking out, and buying additional sensors for our alarm system. We only armed major entry and exit points, but after this, I want sensors on every single window, every single door in this house, and an outdoor camera or two as well! 

Future Lazy, coming back to add...

They found our stuff! They were able to trace the Switch to "the new owner" when they tried to register it. The detective who brought it back to us said that it was given to a nephew of the burglar as a Christmas gift, and when the kiddo went online to create an account, it pinged some system and alerted the police. The police were able to go to the nephew's house and get it back, and damn it all if I don't feel bad for this kid... He (and his mom) didn't ask for stolen goods! How dare this thief take OUR stuff and give it away!! He not only hurt us, but he hurt that kid too, who had no idea why someone was taking his brand new toy away from him. But I'm happy to have it back, because it was originally a gift from The Kiddo to Hubby, right before she moved out. And yes, he's learned his lesson and doesn't keep expensive electronics in full view of the back window. 

No Medals?! - Santa Suits on the Loose 5k Race Report 2021

 So.... the first thing you'll notice about this post is that there aren't any photos. 

Guys, I lost my little camera.

Again!

I ran a 5k in Jacksonville in 2018, where I lost a really great camera, a little Samsung point and shoot... 16mp, easy to hold, with wi-fi and NFC. 

I replaced it with a Canon PowerShot Elph 180 (which came bundled with an SD card, extra battery, and lots of other accessories). I used this little guy all the time, he was a great pocket camera for road trips or quick shots at races. 

I know I had it during the race, so it had to have gotten left somewhere after the race. But where??? Or did I lose it later? I honestly can't see it in my mind anywhere after the finish line of this race. 

Well, anyway, on with the (bare bones) race report!

Left the house around 5am, got to the beach around 7:30. Parking was a little difficult, so I ended up across the street at Panama Hattie's. I was able to pick up my packet and my tee shirt and take it back to my car before the race started, then I headed back over to the start area. I'm sure I took a bunch of photos, but I don't have them now, lol. 

We took off at 8am, and my run was pretty uneventful... nothing sticks out in my memory, anyway. I didn't run very much, and the last half-mile was a quick walk because I got sucked into a conversation with an older lady who asked me about my skirt. Turned out she was a local Zumba instructor and she was trying to get me to join her gym. 

I finished with a Chip Time of 57:57 (pace 18:40), 746th out of 851 total runners,  and 41st out of 47 in my age group. You can see me and Zoomba Lady run it in, in the video below. 

I took a quick selfie with Zoomba Lady then went to get my medal. We were told that there were no more medals! What? Apparently, they had not ordered enough medals (I think they only ordered 750, and weren't expecting more participants than that). The RD came over the bullhorn and said that if we didn't get a medal today, we could put our name on a list and get it at a later date. Okay, but how will that work for out of town folks, like me? I went back to the medal table to inquire about said list, and the volunteer just shrugged her shoulders in a sucks to be you kind of way, and just said there were no more medals.

At this point, I was a little frustrated, because I'm a bling whore. I want my medal. But I wasn't going to take it out on the volunteers, so I just considered it a loss and headed back to the car. My plan was to grab my bag of clothes and go back to the restrooms at the pier to change. But when I opened my trunk, imagine my surprise when I saw that my clothes bag was missing! Oh, shit... I left it on the dining room table at home! Crap. I have no clean clothes to change in to, other than the race shirt. So, I swung by the local Walmart to pick up some clothes - I had to get jeans, undies, a bra, and a new shirt. I took my purchases to the bathroom and attempted to change. The bra I got didn't fit, so I just put my sweaty sports bra back on (eww), but everything else was okay. I returned the bra and the jeggings a week later, to my local Walmart. 

After that, I hit Buc-ee's on the way out of town, as I needed to go up to Ikea in Jacksonville. Santa Buc-ee was out, so of course I got my photo! 

I hit up IKEA then went to Freddy's Frozen Custard for lunch. A quick stop at Wawa for a big-ass soda for the road, and I made my way home late that afternoon. 

When I pulled up my email, I noticed this message from a few days ago, stating that people who registered prior to December 3rd would be given priority for receiving a medal. I registered in October, so I should have been given priority at the race today. But, how would they know, in the hecticness of a finish line, right? 

A few days later, they followed up with an additional email, thanking everyone for an amazing event, and asking those of us who didn't get a medal to email them to request one. So that's what I did. 

I got my medal a few months later, and it's super cute and worth the wait, I suppose. But I sure do wish I'd gotten it when I earned it. 

Run Your Cupcakes Off - The Cupcake Race 5k 2021

Oh, you guys... I think this has to be Two and a Half Strikes, You're Out for this Race Director. At least for me... 

Back in 2018, I ran a local race called The Cupcake Race. It was bad, all the way around, from Packet Pickup to Final Results. But I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, you know! So a few years later, now in 2021, I signed up for Run Your Buns Off 5k in April. It would run along the Trail, a place I'm familiar with, and a similar route to the Cupcake Race from 2018. Okay, cool, let's do this!

And then the issues began.

First, they moved the race from where it originally started, at the local park, to a different park along the Trail - that was 30 minutes away from my house. Usually not a big deal, but I needed extra time now to take Hubby to work and make it on time to the race.  

Then, when I went to Packet Pickup the day before, I was told that they had no shirts available in my size (requested an XXL when I registered for this event), but they would be available the next day at the race... all I got was my bib. Okay, that kind of sucks. Being a Bigger Gal, I'm used to never getting a shirt in my size anyway, but I hate when I spend so much on a race and don't get any kind of swag!

And then Mother Nature herself decided to just shit all over the race. 

So the race was cancelled. 

People who showed up before the storm got their shirts AND a cinnamon bun!

Now absolutely, don't get me wrong here, cancelled a race with dangerous weather like this in the area absolutely was the correct way to go. I don't fault them one bit for this decision! 

Out of curiosity, I emailed them a few days later (to give them time to recover) and I asked about whether or not there would be a way for me to get my shirt, since I didn't get it at early packet pickup. I never got an answer back at all. Okay, fine. I'll just take the loss and move on. 

A week or so after that, we all got an email telling us that we could either defer to 2022, or transfer to The Cupcake Race in November 2021. I would also like to point out that they gave away all 200 cinnamon buns to St. Francis House, a local homeless shelter in the area, so that was heartwarming. 

I went back and forth for a while, trying to figure out what I wanted to do... I'd already run a Cupcake Race, and it was shitty. Would this one be better? They had a few years to work out kinks, right? Or should I wait for 2022? I decided to sign up for the Cupcake Race, because it would at least be cool (as opposed to an April race)! 

So, here we are in November, and boy, this was just slightly better than 2018, but not by much. On the Friday before the race, I went over to early Packet-Pickup at a nearby gym, and it was worse than 2018, I think. They had tables outside, but no organization at all. It took about 30 minutes for me to go from where I was standing in this photo to actually getting my bib and shirt. 

Now, you can see, again, that I requested an XXXL tank when I registered. And are we at all surprised that, when I got my packet, there were no XXXL shirts available. They didn't even order any XXXL shirts from the distributor. Like, if you aren't going to order them, don't have that size as an option! She ended up giving me an XL and muttering that I might be able to swap for a men's tank at the race tomorrow. Yeah, cuz that'll fit well... I'm not hopeful, folks, not at all. 

Two sizes too small, horrible color, juvenile MS Paint logo...

So, Saturday morning dawned a little overcast but temperate, so I wore one of my SparkleSkirts and headed to the race site. Parking was relatively easy, since I was able to get there so early. I was thankful that I hoard warm clothes in my car, because as I waited around, I could feel the air getting chillier... I think it must have dropped 10 degrees! I was regretting my skirt, I can tell you that! 

Looking toward the starting area

Alright, let's go!

We were told that the race started at 8am, so everyone started heading to the Start Line around 7:50am. 

We're all just waiting and shivering here!

And we waited. And waited. I ran into a friend of mine and we chatted for a while. Again - just like at the Cupcake Race - they were going to send the runners off in waves, even though we had not been told beforehand that this was going to happen. So, the half runners were sent off first, but a lot of them had no idea, because they were in the back of the line with us. Then they sent the 10k people. And finally, the 5k people. 

Nothing really eventful happened during the race, which was nice, so I don't have many photos. The only surprise on this course was the ass-destroying hill climb right around the halfway point. I'd never done this portion of the Trail before, so it was not something I knew about going in. 

The photos can't capture how steep this grade is!

But beautiful, and I'll run here again soon!

Luckily, a brutal hill climb like this on an out-and-back course means a beautiful hill descent on the way back, which it was! The rest of the race was smooth sailing after that. I finished in just over 57 minutes, which absolutely sucked, but whatever... Covid fucks everything up. 

I got my cute little medal and looked around for the damn cupcakes. 

Aww, it's so tiny

Cupcakes this time around came from Gigi's, and included varieties such as Cookies 'n' Cream, Wedding Cake, Affogato, Red Velvet, and Toffee Crunch. I defaulted to Wedding Cake ("Perfectly simple vanilla cake topped with signature homemade buttercream") because everything else seemed too over the top for me at the time. 

It was... alright. Nothing spectacular to write home about. Certainly not a $5 cupcake. But it was full of sugar and carbs, which always comes in handy after a 5k. 

So... Yeah. I'm done with Craig Levan (the RD). He and his team are just not good at this. I don't want to keep spending $35-40 on a race that sucks. Sorry, buddy. 

Empty Beaches & Treasure Hunting - Endless Summer 5k Race Report 2021

So, this was a race that I've wanted to do for a few years.  I love St. Augustine, and I love the quirky description of the tee you get: 

Our Turtle Shirts have been extremely Popular. In fact, it's the "BEST T-Shirt in Running HISTORY" (so says the artist).  

This year was the 18th annual race, which benefits Don's Foundation, a foundation dedicated to encouraging college students to choose the Alternative Break, where students choose to travel on their breaks and help those less fortunate. Sadly, Don passed away at only 22, in 2009, after a tragic fall while at home. 

I was psyched for this race when I signed up in March, but a few months later, we planned our Anniversary Adventure Road Trip, and oh crap... This race was scheduled for September 11, when we're on vacation..! I was bummed, and reached out to Jim the Race Director to see if I could have my swag mailed to me. He was more than willing to send everything to me, which was great. 

But then, just a few weeks before the race was set, I got an email telling participants that the race was postponed (not cancelled!). Don's Foundation chose to move it to November because of "current Covid concerns."   

Endless Summer 10K Cross Country and 5K Beach Run/Walk are temporarily postponed...not canceled.

 We are making plans for a November run as we did last year.

Both the 10K & 5K Runs are SOLD OUT.  However, many of those who registered for the runs have recently transferred to the Virtual Runs amid current covid concerns.  Also, our Florida State Park system and our local Sheriff's Office have been affected by covid, as you may have heard.
     For these reasons we have chosen, out of respect for many of you and our partners at the State Park, to postpone the events until a date in November (to be determined).  Note that this was not at the request of the State of Florida......just a decision we made to support you and our local partners.  
   Many of you will be glad that the events are being postponed, as most of the Virtual Runners would rather switch back and run the actual 10K or 5K.    Also, many of you may be disappointed....but, we can all hope that the weather will be much nicer in November :)  Also, we hope to be able to run both races in November with less restrictions (as last year).  
    We do have a nice advantage as our runs take place in Anastasia State Park, which also allows us to reschedule for any reason including inclement weather.
We will not have a September packet pick up, as we did last year.  All packets will be picked up during race week (dates to be determined soon).

This was a very tough decision for us.
We want to put on a great event for all of the participants and hopefully things will be a little better in a month or two.  We are exploring a date in November and will let all of you know very soon.
Thank you for your support and understanding.
We appreciate each and everyone of our participants, sponsors and partners.

Oh, okay! This sucks for everyone who was ready for a September race, but this worked out great for me! I quickly emailed Jim and let him know that I was able to participate in person, and looked forward to a much less humid fall race along the beach. 

Oh, but wait?!?

Is this the same week as The Cupcake Race? No, it's okay. That race is the weekend after this one. 

So I made my way to St. Augustine on a cloudy Saturday morning, sadly without my little point & shoot camera. Yes, I lost another freaking camera (Hello, my name is Lazy and I lose cameras). The last time I remember having it for a race was last month at Run the Runway. For the life of me, I can't figure out where it would have disappeared to, or where I might have lost it. At this point, I'm wondering if it's even worth it to buy a new camera, or if I should just embrace doing photos with my phone... I guess I'll shop around and see if there's anything affordable out there right now. And if I can get a Tile or something to help me find that one when I inevitably lose it, too!

Anyway, I was able to score a parking spot inside Anastasia Island State Park - I think there was only one or two more spots open before they made people park outside the park. I picked up my goody bag, which was a neat backpack, and had my bib, tee (damnit, they gave me a dude's shirt, not a ladies v-neck, grrrr), sticker, and random koozie. 

Single-Strap Backpack with Front Pocket & Luggage Tag

Sticker (will turn into Magnet)

Boy Howdy! What is Creem USA? 

Photo of Race Shirts (courtesy Don's Friend website)

I ran it back to my car, hit the potty, then lined up near the Start Line. We sang the Anthem then started the race. 

The flag was massive, hung from a Fire Truck

We went right out onto the beach, through an entryway that was a bit of a bottleneck. 

Waiting for the fast folks to get out of my way

Once on the hard-packed shoreline, everyone spread out and found their pace. 

Lots of room now

Dreary Selfie

Turn Around Point for the 5k

It was a very boring course, honestly. The overcast sky made everything so dank and dreary; there was no gorgeous Florida sunrise to enjoy.  

Yes, there's people behind me!

If I was just out here to enjoy the beach, as a beach-goer, I would have loved the day, but there was no energy here, and I often felt completely alone. 

Hello? Is there anyone out there? 

Eventually, we had to leave the beach, and instead of coming back in where we came from, we had to climb these "massive" dunes to get to a gorgeous boardwalk. I feel like this was just an accident waiting to happen, especially for the really, really fast people, and the really, really slow people in the back. For instance, the pair in front of me were probably in their 70s, and had a hard time fighting through the soft sand. 

There's a walkway there somewhere

Once up on the boardwalk, it was much easier to keep your footing, and it was beautiful in that area. 

This is probably gorgeous during sunset

At the end of the boardwalk, you hooked a right, made a circle of the parking lot (I left my water bottle on the trunk of my car, so convenient!) before coming up the road to the finish line. 

Almost done!

Hang a right!

With an amazingly terrible time of a few seconds over ONE HOUR, I picked up my medal and wandered around for a few minutes before asking someone to take a finish photo for me. 

It's a cute medal; matches my manicure!

Wearing my "Waves" Sparkle Skirt (get it, waves?)

I came in 267th out of 300 total runners, last in my age group, and the 165th Female out of only 187. 1:01:16 Gun Time (1:00:49 Chip Time), with a 19:35mm pace. I blame some of this on the "beach" part of the race, but also just because I wasn't feeling this race, and so I didn't put a whole lot of effort into it. 

I wandered around afterward a little, drinking some water, but didn't stick around for any awards or anything. I changed my clothes in the restroom near the car, then headed out into the city to find treasures. First up was the Betty Griffin Center Anastasia Island Thrift Shoppe on SR-312. There's another on in Fruit Cove (haven't been to that one), and they support survivors of domestic or sexual violence in the local communities. 

This was the first time I've been there, and I'm in love! I generally don't look for clothing at thrift stores (because fat girl clothing is hard to find, and usually worn ragged), but I was impressed by the amount of clothing they had. They had massive amounts of shoes and accessories too. In one area, they had what felt like an entire department of textiles - sheets, pillowcases, towels, blankets, etc. I scored 2 blank pillow forms, two half pillows, and two Christmas pillows. I also picked up a few kitchen items, and two massive Christmas wreaths for four bucks each! I plan on going to Dollar Tree to get stuff to decorate them. 

After scoring some treasures, I had a trashy lunch at Steak & Shake, complete with electric cheese sauce for dipping. 

Last stop on any trip to St. Augustine is Buc-ee's. I really wanted this shirt, but they didn't have it in my size (and let's be honest... I stain any white shirt within a week of owning it). 

Yes, that's a cart full of Buc-ee's treasures! Chips, fudge, cookies, jerky, Beaver Nuggets, probably a shirt, and two drinks for the road. 

So, would I do this race again? Eh, maybe. I liked Don's Foundation and what they support. I liked the location, kind of. I think I'm going to withhold a decision for now... Covid has made so many things weird and wonky, that I should do it at least one more time, when shit gets totally back to normal, before making a final decision. 

Run the Spaceport... I Mean Runway 5k Race Report 2021

 

So, I've wanted to do a Runway race for a while, ever since I saw the one in Tampa, but I didn't want to travel all the way to Tampa just for a 5k. I found this race, and it was closer, in Fernandina Beach!  

Um, hang on a sec... pulls up Google Maps...

Tampa is 2.25 hours from my house.

Fernandina Beach is 2 hours from my house.

 

(If you don't know The Chicks, you need to find them!)

Well, okay. Today I learned about distance. Back to the story. 

 

Hubby took today off, but chose to stay home, rather than come with me (like he did for the Bridge of Lions run). And that's fine with me; sometimes I just wanna be by myself, you know? 

 

I had to leave early, since the race started at 7am; I was up and out by 4am or so! The drive was, as expected, very quiet, especially because much of it was non-interstate driving. It was very easy to find and park. We were parked in a field adjacent to the runway we'd be running on. I was parked way down near the end, and there were no lights at all, other than what was provided by headlights, cellphones, or various flashlights. That seemed very unsafe (but kind of cool at the same time). 

Carefully, I headed up towards the packet pickup, first pit-stopping at the potties so I could use them before they got nasty. Let me tell ya; peeing in a pottie that has no interior light, and trying to find somewhere to put a cell phone to shine the flashlight is difficult! I think I tucked it in my bra... It was an experience! After that, I got my bib and shirt (no other swag), and made my way back to the car.

 

As it got closer to race time, I locked up and headed toward the start area again. I noticed a lot of "space" themed stuff, "space" themed music, and other vaguely astronomical touches, which was odd. Turns out, the announcer (I think it was the announcer, not the run director) was affiliated with NASA or something (it was too early to really pay attention), and he just decided to lean heavily on space, less so on airport. It worked out well, somewhat, because that morning, ULA Atlas V Lucy Mission launched from Cape Canaveral. 

Remnants of the Lucy Launch before sunrise

We took off down the runway, but after about maybe a quarter-mile, we hit a turn-around and started going back the way we started. Um, huh? I thought it'd be 1.5 miles up and 1.5 miles back, you know, on a runway?

Nope! It was a half-mile on the runway itself, and then we deviated onto a freakin' trail!!!!! I HATE trails! This one was sandy in the beginning, that really soft grey sand that shifts as soon as you put any weight on it. Then it changed to muddy ruts, like an unpaved truck road through the woods. Yuck! 

After about a mile of this, we exited back onto the road we all drove to get to the parking lot, so a little more actual pavement to run on. The water stop utilized silicone cups, instead of paper cups, which I thought was interesting! In their mission to eliminate cup waste, Hiccup (the provider of the cups) will drop off, pick up, and wash cups, so they can be used again at future races! (Kind of wish I knew that... I ended up taking two of them home because they were so nifty!). 

After the water stop, we turned around and headed back the way we came (yay, more sand and mud). We finished with about a quarter-mile on the runway, walking past some fun ultralight planes on display. 

Check out this great video put out by the race folks - if you look hard, you can see my patriotic ass waddling by at :38!

I can't find the official results anywhere, but Garmin shows that I finished with a great time of 54:12, which is an 18:04 pace.(And it's pretty close to the finish photo below, showing a gun time of around 54:30)

What a cool finish photo!

That's some good-lookin' peach fuzz there!

Nails painted in solidarity with the Southwest Airlines pilots Strike against Covid Vax Mandates (though Southwest blamed the issues on weather)

I picked up my medal, a second Hiccup of water (seriously, such a cool idea!) and wandered back to my car. I didn't feel like sticking around for the awards ceremony, and there wasn't much else to stay for, so I didn't feel so bad. 

This photo came out really nicely!

First up, I went to Harris Teeter to change clothes, and check out the store - I'd never been to one! It reminded me of a mish-mash of Publix and Whole Foods. It was a good-looking store, very organized. I was hoping to find something good in the bakery for breakfast, but nothing caught my eye. But as I walked through the deli, I saw they had a hot bar, and surprisingly, they had a breakfast hot bar! It was a little sad, but I decided to give it a try anyway. I got a little bit of eggs, a few slices of bacon, and a biscuit. Oh, and a chocolate milk, for the protein.

Biscuit w/Butter & Jelly, Scrambled Eggs w/Cheese, Bacon ($4, give or take)

I ate my tiny breakfast in the car, and as you can imagine... it wasn't all that spectacular. The eggs were okay. The bacon was too crispy for me. The biscuit was standard. But, it was food, and that's all I needed! I also went to their attached gas station/convenience store to pick up a soda.

My next stop was one I found by playing "What's That Place?" on Google Maps. You know, when you look at Google Maps, and something catches your attention, whether it's a name, or a geographical feature and you think to yourself, "what's that place?" I saw the name "Boneyard Beach" and I was intrigued. What did Boneyard refer to? So, I did some digging, and apparently, it's a mile-long stretch of the Florida coastline that seems to gather the bleached skeletons of dead oak trees. Coincidentally, park archaeologists have also found fossilized mammoth bones on the beach nearly as big as the trees!

Boneyard Beach is a favorite Jacksonville retreat and close-kept secret. Three miles of shoreline along the Nassau Sound at the very northeast corner of the city limits form a spectacular visual and ecological wonderland.

No skyscrapers are in sight, because the beach tucked into Big Talbot Island State Park is within the bounds of the federally protected area of the Timucuan Ecological and Historical Preserve. Sculpted by nature, this shoreline boasts 30-foot bluffs and a striking beach peppered with massive driftwood trees that recall images of an elephant graveyard.

Relatively recently (within the past few hundred years), this has meant a swift retreat for the shoreline resulting in rapid tree fall. Their bones are bleached, smoothed and battered by sun, sand and wind. While no longer standing, these trees still have an important job to do. They protect the remaining woods and uplands by dispersing and breaking up wind and wave energy and slowing further erosion. Their buffering effect keeps the barrier island in place so it can play its vital role of absorbing the brunt of the Atlantic hurricane season’s fury and protecting the cities, towns and salt marshes inland. Without the intricate root system of the forests here squeezing the sand and soil in place, the bluff would be eroding much faster, leaving Jacksonville exposed to more extreme sea level rise and storm impacts.

I found some pictures, and I knew I just HAD to go check this place out! The drive along A1A was peaceful, getting to the parking area was easy, and I thought I needed to walk down a long trail to get to the beach (according to other reviews of this place), but there was a cut-out for people not afraid to climb down the bluff, so I did that instead. 

 

The cut-out to slide down to the beach

When I got my first real view of the beach, I was in awe. Just plain awe. It was beautiful, otherworldly, and like nothing I'd ever seen in Florida before. Okay, maybe I'm overselling it, but seriously... it was gorgeous! The photos I took just don't do it justice. 

 

Massive oaks, lying around like Pick-Up-Sticks

There are massive oak trees littering this beach like discarded toys. Roots reach toward the sky like fingers, and bare tree canopies stretch toward the water, searching for moisture.  

I'm going to blow this one up and frame it, it's so cool!

When I first got there, there was an older couple fishing, and a younger couple setting up what looked like a picnic (though I think they were Tik Tok-ing or Instagramming, actually). There was a family with small children, who were playing at the water's edge spotting crabs and tiny fish. 

Random items for scale

Later, two young girls showed up to do a photo shoot (or just another Insta sesh). You can see them in relation to the size of the trees to get an idea of just how large these trees are!

Oh, my God, Becky, you look sooo ka-yoot!

I was there for probably 2 hours, taking pictures of trees, or the beach, or the eagles flying overhead, or the sharks in the water... It was so much fun, but it was really hot, too. I had to drag myself away!

 

Once I left the beach, I made my way south, via A1A, to St. Augustine, where I picked up some lunch, did some shopping, hit up Buc-ee's for some treats, and then headed home.