Look at Me, So Important at a Work Conference!

I've worked for my current employer for 13 years, and I never get to go to any out-of-town conferences or trainings or anything like that. Frankly, it made me feel a little undervalued. Other staff were able to go to conferences at least 2-3 times per year, with no one batting an eye, but for me...? It was always like pulling teeth to get permission, or to get money from the budget, so I just stopped even requesting to go anywhere at all. 

However, because my boss retired last year, and I assumed some of his duties, that meant that there was one symposium that I had to go to, no matter what! I was stoked. I felt like a grown-ass adult, with a grown-ass job, with grown-ass responsibilities. 

And it was at Disney World! Okay, okay, so it was more like Disney-adjacent, but still! It was held at Signia by Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek (ooooh, so fancy!) I brought hubby with me, too, although he didn't have to come to any of the meetings or trainings, of course. 

So, we drove down Monday night before it started and got our room (upgraded to a King room, too) and spent the majority of the afternoon chillin' out, unpacking, and trying to decide on dinner. 

Going through Google, we discovered a place called Twin Peaks. It looked like a lumberjack-themed Hooters, but it was so kitschy, and this dessert was so amazingly on-point, we just had to go! (Part of the decision also came from the fact that we'd had the giggles for 20 minutes, and weren't making any adult decisions at the moment). 

I mean... come on, right? 

Needless to say, it was as bad as you'd think it was. I talked myself into an 'appetizer' called "Billionaire's Bacon", which was thick-cut bacon coated in brown sugar, smoked paprika, and chili flakes (it was good, but seriously... $8 for three strips of bacon?), then we split a plate of Mozzarella Cheese Bites (cubes of mozzarella coated in Panko bread crumbs... huh?) and a plate of Chicken Fingers with Fries. 

Is it called Billionaire's Bacon because they get rich off of unsuspecting diners?

Were these even fried, or were they baked? 

Standard frozen fingers and plain ol' fries

All the food was perfectly fine, nothing stood out, but obviously... the appeal is titties and sports. And frankly, my titties were more spectacular than our servers, poor girl, she tried! (She seemed confused that there was a wife in the building, honestly. I guess that doesn't happen very often.) We were too full for the double-breasted brownie sundae, but ended up stopping at Freddy's... the pull of frozen custard was just too strong to ignore. 

Tuesday was a very long day for me, with a huge welcome conference in the morning before breaking for lunch. The plan was to leave the hotel for lunch, but when we got to the parking garage, my tire was flat! 

This tire was only about 4 months old, y'all... 2023 strikes again

There was some construction in the parking garage, and I (of course!) had the luck of running over a freakin' nail. With no time to deal with it now, we trudged back to the hotel and headed over to the pool bar for lunch instead. We both ended up ordering from the Kid's Menu (because we weren't all that hungry, we are that cheap, and the waiter didn't give a shit). He had sliders and I had chicken fingers; both meals were delicious and the perfect size. 

The rest of the afternoon included more trainings and break-out sessions. I was also developing a pretty gnarly migraine at this point, probably from my lack of caffeine. At the end of the evening, back in our room, we acted like mature adults... and ordered more Kid's Meals via Room Service! I was impressed though, it was still really nicely presented! Our plates were cloched, with real silverware and linen napkins, two goblets of ice water, and condiments came in tiny little bottles or cups. I felt very fancy eating my sub-par hot dog (should've gone with the sliders). 

Yes, we are adults who order Hot Dogs from Room Service

It was hot and fresh, I'll give 'em that!

So cute and tiny

The ranch is spectacular

On Wednesday, I was free for the majority of the day, so we slept in, then I called AAA to come fix the tire. Because it is unsafe to drive highway speeds on the spare (donut) tire, we drove over to University Nissan to buy a new tire. They took forever! I think we were there over two hours, for a simple tire install. We'd skipped lunch (stupidly) because we thought it'd be a quick thing. By the time we left, around 5pm, I was ready to eat my own foot! So... bless his heart... Hubby suggested that we go over to Universal City Walk and have an early dinner at Toothsome Chocolate Emporium for dinner. I was up for it, because I was under the assumption that, after 6pm, parking was free at City Walk. And yeah, sometimes it is... But not when it's a Halloween Horror Night night. But since we were already there, we paid the insane $30 parking cost and parked. I can report, ladies and gentlemen, that "Halloween" for young women now means wearing fishnets, slutty outfits, and vintage tee shirts, while sporting brightly colored hair and too much makeup. Eh, I guess that's really what it's always been, I suppose. They all just looked so desperate and uncreative, like this huge crowd of LOOK AT ME girls who would punch anyone who actually, you know, looked at them. 

The restaurant was busy, since HHN hadn't started yet. Lots of people who were either waiting to enter HHN, or parkgoers who had been herded out because they didn't have HHN tickets. We got a table on the 2nd floor after about a 10 minute wait. Hubs ordered the Cheddar Bacon burger, and I got the Southern Fried Chicken BLT (without the L or T). Both were delicious, but I think that mine was better. 

Cheddar Bacon Burger & Fries

Southern Fried Chicken B(-LT) Sandwich & Fries

For dessert, as if we weren't full enough to begin with, we split a "That's 'Mint'" milkshake featuring Andes mints, shaved chocolate, whipped cream, a chocolate-dipped rim, and a full-size mint chip ice cream sandwich! It was overkill, for sure, but damn, was it delicious! 

Plastic spoons and paper straws... $17

We fought over the ice-cream sandwich, which looked like a giant Oreo (it is!) Two big cons to this dessert though (not even counting the $17 price tag); first is that they served it to us with plain, white, plastic spoons, and two, we could keep the souvenir jar, but they had no way to clean it, except to take it to the bathroom and wash it myself. I can only imagine what their pipes must look like after people dump their milkshakes down the drain! I was in there for about 10 minutes, melting the chocolate around the rim until I could rinse it away! Do better, Universal. Back at the hotel, we put on our suits and spent some time in the pool and hot tub, which was heavenly. 

Thursday was my last day of the conference, and it was over by lunch time. We checked out of the hotel and went to Jason's Deli for lunch, then drove to our other hotel that we booked separately, so that we could extend this business trip into a long vacation weekend. 

Ham & Cheese on White

Massive Lunch-Size Chicken Alfredo Pasta

After a disappointing trip to Aquatica this past spring, we needed to redeem ourselves, so Hubs talked me into going to Typhoon Lagoon tomorrow, to float away the stress of this conference. We popped over to Disney Springs after lunch to pick up a Disney Visa Rewards card, and then swap that for two tickets to the water park at Guest Services (yes, credit card rewards for the win! We got in for 'free.') 

Now, we've been to Typhoon Lagoon a few times, and at some point during this visit, I decided that I wanted to do every single {adult} ride they had. I didn't share this with Hubby until I was about halfway through the list, really. We started with a few laps around Castaway Creek, and then some of the rides we knew we loved, like Misadventure Falls and Gangplank Falls (our absolute fave). We did Keelhaul Falls and Mayday Falls, both of which suck, since we have to carry our own tubes up the stairs, but are still fun. We took a break with a few more laps on the lazy river where we just enjoyed each other's company, and I told him that I thought I was pretty close to doing all the rides. We pulled over at Crush'n Gusher so I could ride that (he didn't want to ride), then made our way across the park to the Storm Slides. And then, finally, I spent a few minutes just staring at Humunga Kowabunga. It was all that was standing between me and saying I did all the rides. HK is an "enclosed body slide" that drops at a 60º angle, 214 feet to the bottom. I grit my teeth and started the big climb (sadly, having to stop every little bit because the cardio was killing my lungs!) to the top. I put on my big girl panties, took a shaky breath, and I did it!! I did it!!!

Oooh, and I hated it! 

As soon as I started, I got water in my face and I couldn't keep my eyes open, and so I couldn't tell when the end was coming, when to 'brace for impact,' so to speak. It was like hitting a wall, and this huge jet of water shot between my legs, and into the nether regions. I'm so very, very thankful for the little skirt on my bathing suit because I'm pretty sure I had a 180º wedgie from butt to belly! Ironically (or sadly?) just a day prior, there was a story in the New York Post about a woman suing Disney for her "Painful Wedgie" in 2019; she contends that near the end of the ride, she became airborne and as she was slammed downward against the slide, her legs became uncrossed, causing her swimsuit to be painfully forced between her legs and for water to be violently forced inside her." She also claimed to have suffered "severe lacerations, damage to her internal organs, and a hernia." The suit accuses Disney of negligence for not warning riders about the risks, nor did they provide her with "proper protective swimwear." I don't see any follow up to this lawsuit, so my guess is that it was dropped or settled to shut her up. But, man, I can see where she's coming from... that was a painful wedgie! 

Feeling accomplished, we took a few victory laps in the lazy river then decided to head out around 4pm to get ahead of the crowds (park closed at 5). We filled our bellies with delicious burgers from Sickies Garage on US-192 then made the long drive home. 

I think this was a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger... can't remember!

I'm not sure where the work conference will be next year - they always try to spread it out across the state, so it's fair to everyone - so I hope it's somewhere that I haven't been! 

It's my Birthday, I'll Kayak If I Want To!

I like to think I'm not easily influenced, but over the past few years, the idea of kayaking has become more and more appealing. An old co-worker got new kayaks for her birthday last year. A lot of the folks on YouTube that I watch often go kayaking, and frankly... I just really wanted to do it. But Hubby isn't a water baby, so I had to find a way to do it on a Me Day.  

Enter Labor Day, my birthday weekend. Hubbin would be at work on Labor Day, so why not take a day for me and just do it? If it sucked, it sucked, and I'd never have to do it again. So I began to plan a Me Day. My day looked like this:

• Mystery Shop a car wash in Ocala (for $25 plus reimbursement!)
• Pick up donuts at Tas-T-O's Donuts
• Kayak
• Have lunch
• Shop
• Drive Home

About a week before my day, however, I got a call from my mom and she wanted to visit for my birthday. So I invited her to come kayaking. She wasn't up for that (she is elderly), but was okay with meeting for lunch afterward. 

So Monday morning, I took hubby to work, picked up a Sausage Biscuit for the road and made my way to Ocala. When I got to the car wash I was assigned to Mystery Shop, the car wash was broken! So that was a waste of time (still got paid, though!) that I could have spent getting delicious donuts. By the time I got over to Tas-T-O's (at about 9am), the majority of their case was empty! 

Pickin's are pretty slim at this point

What a full window looks like at 5am

I chatted up a few locals who told me that if you don't get there by 7 or 8am, all the good stuff is gone. I was able to score a cake donut, and it was heavenly. A great crumb, the right texture, and oodles of glaze on the outside. I definitely want to hit up this place again (but when in the world will I be there at 7am?)

From there, I drove over to Silver Springs, and my date with a kayak. I had reserved a Sit-On Kayak for an hour for about $35 after fees and taxes. I had to also pay park entrance to Silver Springs State Park ($5). Once I signed a waiver, I gave them my car keys to secure my kayak. I was given a lanyard with safety instructions. I picked up a life vest (not required to wear but to have on-board) as well as a paddle, and then I got my kayak at the launch. 

Holy moly, it was busy! I was in line to check-in for probably 20 minutes, the whole time I'm looking around at what had to be Church Van levels of crowds. So many teenagers! The launch area was clogged with teenagers who had already gotten in the water and were waiting for their friends; the check-in area was clogged with teenagers who didn't know their friends were already in the water! Eventually they all figured it out, and I took a few extra minutes to let the crowds disperse, because frankly... I didn't want to look stupid getting in to my kayak! I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing, and the fewer bystanders to see me flounder, the better. 

It was awkward to get in and as soon as I sat down, a gush of cold spring water hit my ass and flooded the kayak; apparently these types of kayaks had a little 'overflow' valve or something in the bottom of the boat, and I was immediately drenched. The entire seating area of the kayak was under 2-3 inches of water! The staff member said that this was normal and not to worry. I wasn't worried, per se, but I was damn sure glad that I had the forethought to put all of my gear in a drybag! 

Anyway, I pushed off, using the paddling techniques I'd learned yesterday, via 10 minutes of YouTube videos, then kind of 'pulled off to the side' to settle myself a bit. I wanted to pull out my GoPro and set it up, but there was nowhere to clip it, so I had to jerry-rig a way to hold it up via a selfie stick (I should have brought the chest harness, really). 

Once I was all situated, I got back out on the paddling trail and just... drifted. With no crowds around me now, it was peaceful and quiet. Birds chirping. Small splashes from fish and turtles. Once in a while someone else would pass me, gliding through the water. I can totally understand why people like this so much! I was in heaven. I love the natural parts of Florida, especially the interior portions (sorry, Beaches, you're not the best part of the state!). Deep, thick, green woody areas with clear blue springs... it's heaven! 

After a little bit (no idea how long), I came to the end of the Fort King Waterway, and onto the actual Silver River. Now, Florida had just been hit by Hurricane Idalia, as a Category 3, near the Big Bend area. I don't know if that had anything to do with this or not... but DAMN! The current on the Silver River was much more than I was expecting. Also, I admit that I didn't do my due diligence and get familiar with the map and the paddling route... See, when I came out of the FKW, there were tons of people on the river! Canoes, kayaks, stand-up paddleboards, everywhere. It looked like people were coming out of a break in the bank on the other side of the river. So I just assumed that I had to cross the river to get over there. Well, as you can imagine, the current in the middle of the river was very, very fast (okay, maybe I overexaggerate, but it wasn't the slow and sensuous drift I'd just left). I had to put a lot of oomph in to it! And every time I stopped to take a break, I felt like I was just sliding further downstream. But finally, I made it all the way over to the other side!

Fort King Waterway Map (Courtesy of Florida Paddle Notes)

And wouldn't you know it... I didn't need to be over here! All of the other people I'd been in the vicinity of while paddling the FKW was staying on the left side of the river, happily making their way upstream... What was I doing over here? So, I pumped my way back across the river. My arms are just dying at this point, as well as my lungs. Also, for some reason, I thought that I'd only need to be on the river for maybe 5 minutes (again, didn't look at the silly map), so it felt like the river just kept going and going! I definitely wasn't prepared for how long I was going to need to paddle as hard as I did. 

Thankfully, I made it to the actual Silver Spring without losing myself to the current, and I slipped back into the FKW to return to the launch. I originally wanted to spend more time paddling around the springs area, but by this time, my 1-hour return time was coming up, and I didn't want to get penalized for returning it late (and having to pay extra!) My paddle back wasn't nearly as relaxing because as you got past the boardwalk that crossed over the waterway, you ran into the people who were going out toward the springs, and felt like rush-hour traffic. Everyone coming back in, like me, was instructed to kind of queue up as much as possible, to allow for new people to launch out. I kept getting bonked by a father/son canoe who proceeded to give me dirty looks every time it happened! As we sat there, I saw that one of the employees had cleared the launch-in point, and was waving us over. Well, since I wasn't lying down in my boat (like both of them were) and I was actually paying attention to what was going on, I was able to paddle over there quickly and get out. They saw me going and shot me the nastiest look, but who cares! 

Getting out was a thoroughly awkward experience, though! I was at an incline, since it was a boat ramp, and I just couldn't get my feet under me, so the employee gave me a hand to help me out, and bless his heart, I almost pulled him in with me! But I was able to get my legs under me finally, and I hopped out, thanking him for his assistance, of course! I headed back to the check-in desk to swap out my lanyard for my car keys, then dripped my way to my car. Once there, I changed clothes and headed to Long John Silver's for lunch with Mom and my aunt. We'd agreed to meet at 12pm, but when I got there a bit late, I didn't see their car. So I parked and texted her that I was there. And waited. And waited! After 20 minutes or so, I began to worry, so I texted again, but no response. About 10 minutes later, I look up to see my aunt walking toward me... They parked on the other side if the building after I'd already parked, and for some reason, she didn't get any of my texts, nor did I get any of hers! So they'd been here for probably 45 minutes waiting for me! We enjoyed our uber-greasy fish and shrimp and chicken as I told them about my trip, both of them wistfully saying gee, I wish I could do that, and me saying well, why the hell can't you? You're only as old as you act! (It's been 6 months since that discussion, and both are still in the I wish stage, no matter how many times I suggest we all go do it... sigh.) 

After lunch, the two of them headed out for some quality Thrift Shop Hoppin' while I needed to get on the road and head home to pick up hubby. On the way there, I stopped to pick up some groceries, as well as my birthday cake. 

So.... Let's take stock of how I'm feeling today. 

My body doesn't hurt nearly as much as I was expecting. Kayaking is really an ab-focused sport more than an arm-focused sport, so I definitely felt some fatigue there. A bit tired in my arms, too. But all in all, I felt wonderful! I certainly didn't feel like a 46-year old woman who just spent all morning kayaking!

I now totally understand why people love kayaking (as a relaxing sport, not a crazy "wild water rapid" sport). It's like taking a walk in the woods, but on water. It's chill. It's beautiful. It's relaxing. You get to experience nature from a different perspective. 

I'm so ready to do it again! Maybe next time I'll plan to do an entire day! I'll launch from the same place, and then go all the way down the river to Ray Wayside Park (they'll shuttle me back to the parking lot). I think that's only $55 or something... totally affordable for a full day trip! If I can swing it (and the weather cooperates), maybe I'll aim for the warmer end of winter (like February or March) in hopes of spotting Florida Manatees living their best mermaid lives in the river. 

And I'll leave a lot earlier so I have a fighting chance to get some of those donuts, too!