I’ve never wanted to
do this because I’ve never felt like I’ve needed to. I also felt like I would be made fun of when the inevitable failure happened. Of course, I never felt like
I was striving for something either. I have a few adult accomplishments under my belt - I’ve graduated college, gotten married,
bought a house, had a child, quit smoking 5 years ago, bought a brand new car – but none of
these feel like I’m striving towards something for ME. I’m a wife and a mom and I think that I have
let myself linger in the background for far too long.
A few years ago, I worked at a company that paid for a
fitness boot camp. I signed up for it
and went religiously – there were only about 5 of us that did, including one
great guy who we lost last year to cancer.
I lost about 15 pounds during that time, and was able to do 15 man pushups.
I still couldn’t run for shit and my cardio system could barely keep up – I
would get dizzy a lot. Once the program
was over, I tried to continue going to the YMCA to get on the elliptical or
treadmill, but it was not the same. I didn’t get the same feeling that I did at
the boot camp.
Due to the economy and people not wanting things constructed, I was laid off in 2009. Because the Y was in the same neighborhood as the company, and was
frequented by LOTS of people who knew both me and where I no longer worked, I
didn’t want to go and have people give me the pity “so…. How ARE you
doooooooooing?” crap. I didn’t die – I
got laid off. I don’t think I have set foot back in the Y since then.
During the time I was laid off, I sat on my ass either on
the couch or in front of the computer - it was now my job to FIND a job. It was hell. I became much more sedentary than before. I
didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything.
The only upside is that throughout it all, I never did smoke or feel the
need to smoke.
To be continued….
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