Opting for Virtual - Spud Run 5k Race Report

Originally scheduled for May 2nd,  one of my most favorite runs - the Spud Run in Hastings, FL - was changed (well in advance, in April) to a later date in May, due to Covid.

As we got closer to the day of the race, many things still seemed up in the air and Jacob, the race director, contacted everyone at the beginning of May with this email:

I really was hoping that by the end of May, for goodness' sake, the world would be in a much better place (Future Me from July is laughing), that races and outdoor events would be up and running again, but alas...

Of the two options, I decided to go with the virtual, even though I hate virtuals. I'm going to let you in on a little secret... I hate being judged for my size and running ability. I don't know what their Cross-Country style would look like, but in my head, it involved me running while a bunch of people watched (like a track meet), and there was no way in hell I was going to put myself through that. The thought of people seeing me jiggle while I jogged, or pitying me when I had to slow down and walk after only a quarter-mile, all the judging in their heads... I couldn't do it. Rationally, I know that none of that would probably happen. Hell, everyone (including myself to others) would be cheering each other on, but in my head, all I would hear is pity (come on, fatass, you can do it! Good job, lardo!) 

So I emailed Jacob and he changed me to a virtual run. I gave him my address to ship my shirt and medal, and joked that unless he could sneak some in a box, I would sure miss the farm-fresh potatoes they give out every year. I don't think he got my sense of humor, as he replied that no potatoes would be sent out...

On May 29th, Jacob sent out a reminder of the new race location and 5k start time options, and shared for the virtual runners (me) that their goodies would be sent out the following week.

Not feeling very motivated, I ended up walking this on May 30th (awww, I did a virtual ON race day for once), and despite what my Garmin says, I did a full 3.1 miles in under an hour. Barely.

I am tired of this stupid Covid bullshit - which yes has caused a lot of deaths nationally and globally - to end. We can't hide from a virus. It will find you... that's what viruses do. This virus isn't not as deadly as first thought and feared. We are verging into Totalitarianism territory, with many of our local, state, and national politicians, and I fear that in the months ahead, it's just going to get worse. Economies and societies cannot thrive if the People are not allowed to live freely. We are not thriving right now. We are only surviving. 

KungFlu Review for May 2020

So... this is where we stand at this point of 2020

I've decided that these posts are missing something... they're missing MEMEs. So enjoy some well-curated memes from my I Hate Everything Right Now stash as we move forward and reminisce about May.

At the end of April, my coworkers and I were under the impression that we were still working from home until May 10th. I've lost count at this point, but I'm pretty sure that would mean that I'll have been working from home for 5 weeks (since March 20) by the time I go back. .

Let's start May on a fun note. Take a moment to listen to the soothing tones of Jonathan Coulton and his ode to May 1st.

As of May 1, there are more than 234 thousand deaths, globally. In Michigan, armed protestors gathered at the State Capitol in Lansing as Governor Whitmer reinstated the Michigan State of Emergency. These protests fought to end the lockdown and allow free, healthy Americans to return to work, school, and play. They were, as you can imagine, demonized by the Left and the Mainstream Media.

Also on May 1st, my County made masks mandatory under threat of fines, and increased retail occupancy to 1 person per 500 square feet. Again, this occupancy restriction only serves to help big businesses like Walmart or Publix, and hurts small businesses like Lloyd Clarke Sports or Bagel Bakery... these local businesses have a very small footprint, so it means basically one person at a time is allowed into a store; the rest must wait outside. In Florida. In May.

There is a noticeably different tone taken, starting the next day, on the County's Facebook Page. The County's Communication Director seems to have been given a looser leash in how he wishes to speak to the citizens of this county, and the condescending tone of "speaking down to those I don't want to address" markedly increased. But the disdain wasn't reserved for the Communications Director... at the biweekly Commission Meeting, one of the Commissioners said that they shouldn't be given responsibility for what to do when there are broad-scale public health issues. He thinks we shouldn’t just “turn to the Chamber of Commerce and ask them what we ought to do. Unfortunately, this is what Governor DeSantis did. If you look at the task force membership, it is overwhelmingly made up of business interests or elected officials who represent business interests. There’s very little involvement from public health officials, from people with advanced degrees, people with a perspective to balance what business interests want us to do. People keep asking why we would disagree with what the governor’s business task force recommended? That’s why. I don’t think the governor’s task force was unbiased or balanced, and that’s why I’m perfectly comfortable with taking some positions locally that the state’s not willing to do. The state’s in line with Donald Trump, and I don’t support his perspective on most things, including this one.” The man's big-dick hate-on for all things business and Republican are punishing people in the County he's supposed to represent. It's disgusting to see laid out so blatantly.

On May 5th, it was revealed that a patient admitted to the hospital in December 2019 had Covid, meaning that it was in France weeks before originally thought. The timeline keeps backing up, and I think I've said it before, but I truly believe that whatever funk I had in October was Covid...

Also on this day, the City put out its first obnoxious propaganda video on YouTube to show that "we're all together," or some such touchy-feely bullshit. 

I much prefer this video, that mocks Covid experts and their confusing directions about how to stay safe and what protocols should be put in place. (Sorry, I can't embed the video correctly. it came from Insta, but you can view it at the link above.)

On May 7th, the Beck 5k in Palatka was changed, due to Covid. It was offered as either a Cross-Country run or a virtual run. Though I hated both options, I didn't want to demand my money back, so I opted for virtual (ETA: I still haven't run it yet, as of mid-July, due to some terrible back issues that have only recently begun to clear up). US unemployment numbers were released, and it is up to 33.3 MILLION Americans now - that is 20% of the entire workforce of this country.

What else happened on May 7th? Yup... Work from Home is extended again, to May 18th.

By May 10th, there are 4 million cases of Covid-19 worldwide, and over 270 thousand deaths. Governor Cuomo - finally - rescinds his murderous Nursing Home Order that caused the death of over 5,000 seniors in New York state. This could arguably be the worst decision made throughout the entire pandemic, and Cuomo needs to be brought up on charges because of this.

Locally, while our Governor didn't kill anyone, our petulant little Mayor, mad that people had the audacity to skateboard at a skate park when parks reopened, decided to go ahead and dump mulch in all of the skate park areas! The Mayor took to Facebook to defend himself and his weaselly City Manager, but I think a lot of local residents took note of this bullshit and called him out on it. Repeatedly. I hope they remember this anger come election time.

Not to let the Mayor become a tyrant (he's doing a pretty good job all on his own), local city residents and kids cleaned up all the mulch, because Fuck You, Mayor.

The Friday before I was set to return to work, I got an email from my boss about Return to Work Protocol. I was to sit in my car and call him when I arrived, he would then come downstairs, take my temperature, and ask me some stupid questions (Do you have a fever? Have you come in contact with anyone with Covid? Have you had sex with a man who's had sex with a man since 1977? You know, simple stuff).

So on Monday, the 18th, I get dressed, even put on a little makeup, and head down to the office. I text boss man and he calls me... 

Oops, he says... I guess you didn't get the email? We're still closed and working from home!

What the actual fuck? I go home pull up my email (since I'm hourly, I refuse to work over the weekend, even if it's just checking email... guess I learned my lesson)... and on Friday, at 6:41pm, there's a message from the Director saying that, yes, we're still working from home. Ooh, I'm salty. And I'm in a funk. Like... it's hard to explain, but I was looking forward to going back to work, to some semblance of a routine again, even just a little one. I believe this was really the day I said fuck it to this whole situation. It's no longer a virus. It's a weird takeover of life, especially in liberal-led cities and states, and it's become quite nefarious. 

So I didn't even bother working the rest of the day. I baked cookies. I took a shower. I read an entire book on the couch. I ate junk food. I gave myself a manicure and a pedicure. The rest of the world could go to hell. 

In some wait, they haven't DONE this yet??? news, New York City shut down every single subway system, for the first time in 115 years. WHY was this not done earlier in this pandemic? Can you even imagine? In a city of 8.4 million people, many of whom use the subway, they didn't stop to think that shoving human meat sacks into a metal tube would be detrimental to the spread of a disease? Good job, DeBlasio! Your death count is rising quicker than your Governors. 

On May 17th, Florida finally saw a Full Phase One Open. This meant that restaurants and retail could open with 25% capacity.

Oh, no, no, no, says my county! Not so fast! They think they know much more than us two-tooth redneck conservative small business owners! The County chooses to retain the stricter orders they imposed in April, but did decide to rescind the mask ordinance. But just hours later, during a joint City/County meeting, the City forced the county to reinstate the Mandatory Masks, again, with fines. City Commissioner Gail Johnson literally said, "So it’s sad that we’re at this place because I expected honestly better of us, and I’ll just say it very plainly and simply: I feel like—these are the kinds of thoughts that run through my mind. Like, every day, the federal government and the state government is actively trying to kill people, that’s how I feel about it, and honestly, that’s how a lot of other people feel about it, too, but I felt like this was really a safe haven for us, like we were making better decisions for the people that live here, and therefore, I just felt a little bit more safe.”

... Actively trying to kill people? Honey, just no...

It's also around this time that the shift from Safety to Selfish starts to become extremely apparent. In the beginning, everyone was watching out for everyone else, we were all in this together (as every single commercial wanted to tell us!)

But then it became more than that. It was virtue signaling. It was I'm better than you. It was you're stupid. It became you're selfish. It became all of these things. And it began to get ugly. Local pages on Facebook - the newspaper, the news programs, and of course, the City and County pages - were full of screeching harpies swearing up and down that my not wearing a mask will kill them, actually KILL them, or will kill random school children, or... everyone's favorite... kill some random grandparent.

 There's no way to argue with these people! If you show them a graph, or a story, or a report on TV, they will argue that the data is false, or skewed. I had one woman tell me that she wore a mask in her car because she might drive through a pocket of Covid!

 

So, of course, what do I do? I antagonize these people. I gave up long ago on trying to hold rational conversations with liberals in my town. 99% of them don't listen. But they sure as hell are fun to taunt.

In happier news, Disney Springs reopened on May 20th in Orlando. For one week, it would be only the non-Disney owned stores and restaurants, and only the stores that chose to open (no store was forced to open). Next week, the Disney stuff will open.

On May 21st, I had to run a huge Zoom meeting for work (usually, I just attend; this time I was the host! No pressure). I did what everyone does and got pretty from the waist up, and no pants on the bottom! One of the attendees (no name dropping, but she's a big deal in the criminal justice system around here) joked that the rest of the attendees looked like hell, but I was up in the corner looking like a supermodel. LOL. Thanks!

Speaking of LOL, later this afternoon, the CDC said that Covid-19 cannot easily spread on surfaces... So all of this worthless sanitizing of tables, of benches, of groceries (for the love of god...) all basically a waste of time.   

As if America wasn't already at a tipping point by the middle of May, things heated up drastically on May 25th, when a black man was detained and arrested for possibly passing a counterfeit bill (it wasn't) at a local convenience store in Minneapolis. That man, George Floyd, was killed by police officers, who used a knee-on-the-neck "choke hold" for over eight minutes. Now, I don't want to get into this whole mess, but I don't believe the hold was needed, nor did it need to be eight minutes. These officers basically murdered a man in the streets while other officers AND bystanders watched. (Why did neither the officers nor the citizens do anything? I'm still angry about that one...) Anyway, his killing led to nationwide protests and violent riots across the country. Hundreds of people gathered in Minneapolis to protest Floyd's death. This became the first Black Lives Matter rally. As with most of the recent protests, it started out peaceful and civil, and then RIOTS took over. In the coming days, we saw Antifa and anarchists absolutely destroying cities, shooting people, destroying property, and even murdering people. Many cities enact curfews and some have even called in the National Guard due to the unrest. This blog, that I usually follow for funny memes and running info, had a really good write-up about what was happening in his neighborhood in Minneapolis during the beginning of the protests.

Eager to escape reality for a while, hubby and I went to Disney on May 26th. Basically just because we fucking could. We ate chicken. We got free samples. We got shower bombs. But mostly, we got away from life for 12 hours.

On May 27th, unbeknownst to me (I don't think I ever got an email...), Planet Fitness reopened. Needless to say, I've not yet gone back to the gym.

While we were at Disney, I got an email from work, with you guessed it, an extension... Now supposedly, I'll return to work on June 1st, quarter-time, with the rest of my time spent working from home. We'll see how it goes.

On May 28th, Minnesota Governor Walz declares a State of Emergency in Minneapolis and activated the National Guard there as well.

To leave you with some uplifting news, on May 30th, Elon Musk and SpaceX launch the Falcon 9 Rocket, carrying the Dragon capsule, from Cape Canaveral to the ISS. SpaceX is the first private company to launch astronauts into space.

And, because I hoard memes more than a My 600-lb Life star hoards candy bars, here's a bunch more memes...