Let's Just Go Home - Florida Road Trip - Day 3

We started the morning in the way we love the most (giggity), and when I could uncurl my toes, I got out of bed to get ready for the day. While in the bathroom, naked as the day I was born, the freaking fire alarm started blaring! Oh shit... what are we supposed to do? Just leave? Pack our most important stuff? Is it a false alarm? Fuckfuckfuck! We're both rushing around at this point, pulling on pants and packing our tech and personal stuff as quickly as possible, and thankfully, the alarm stopped. Didn't get any sort of phone call about the issue, and they never said anything when we checked out, so absolutely no idea what the issue was. 

The plan for today, was to drive home via the interior of the state, avoiding the I-95 corridor and all of the insane South Florida residents, as well as seeing some more of the rural, non-touristy areas of my own state. We headed to a corner gas station for snacks and caffeine and made our way to our first weird stop of the day - Port Mayaca Lock on Lake Okeechobee. Lake Okeechobee is a lake that every single Floridian learns about in elementary school, and quickly forgets about by middle school. 

We weren't able to see the lock in action, since it was fenced off for security reasons, but we were able to see two different boats come in from one side and enter Lake Okeechobee at the other. Wasn't nearly as cool as I was hoping, but it was a peaceful area. 

As close as we could get to the Lock

Hard to see, but there's a boat entering the Lock from St. Lucie Canal

The entrance into the Lock

Two boats exiting the Lock into Lake Okeechobee

When we got back to the car, we had no idea how we were supposed to leave - the way in seemed to be a narrow, one-way road, so Hubby thought there was another one-way road out. We saw a narrow road along a hilly area and began to follow it. We got about halfway down it, and we saw a gate at the end. 

Weird. 

As we got closer, we realized it was a gate blocking the road. 

Oh, and it wasn't a road. It was the Lake Okeechobee Scenic Trail. Officially, it's part of The Florida Trail.

We parked in the small triangle-shaped parking lot in the middle of this screenshot

So, at this point, we're stuck on a road that's not technically a road, so we had to turn around. I attempted to execute a three-point turn, but heard a thunk when my rear end left the asphalt! The two options at this point was to straighten up and back up the entire way, or to drive down the embankment and turn around. Despite my excellent "Backing Into Parking Spaces" skills, I didn't think it was the safest option to reverse the entire way, so we decided to take our chances with the embankment (Hubby had no issues, but he wasn't the one in the driver's seat!).

Photo Courtesy HR Johnson (Google Photos)

I've never been so scared of a simple U-turn in my life; I felt like we were going to tip over (I swear, that embankment must be at least 30º steep or more...). We made it back up to the trail, facing the exit this time, and finally got the heck out of there! (ETA: Oh, we did stop and check under the car to make sure all the parts were there... everything is fine! Don't know what made the thunk noise, but it's been a few months since this trip, and the car has had no issues.)

We headed north, around the lake, and the trip was extremely boring. Pretty. Wide open roads. Lots of farms and private property and scrublands. Massive amounts of bugs dying on my windshield. Very little traffic (really, I think we only passed 5-10 cars in two hours). In the town of Okeechobee, we stopped at a Handy convenience store so I could potty, but we chose to hold off on lunch until we got up to Winter Springs, because I wanted to try a joint called Huey Magoo's. I'd heard good things about it on Teh Intarwebz, so I was intrigued. 

Between Okeechobee and Winter Springs, it was another hour of so of just... nothing much. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe I just expected to much, in general, but it was just... boring. I'm attributing this to the fact that most of 'natural' Florida all look the same, and most 'developed' Florida - in non-touristy areas - also all look the same. 

Around 3pm, Hubby was ready to eat his own foot, so we stopped at a Wawa for a snack, assuming that Huey was still about an hour away. He snarfed down an entire bag of chips in about 2 minutes, and about 3 minutes after that, we got into Winter Springs and found Hueys! As you can imagine, he was full, so I ended up just getting a kid's meal so I could try the food. The tenders were average. Better than something I've gotten from Sonic or Arby's, but it wasn't better than Zaxby's or Chick-fil-A. The fries were basic crinkle fries, but the seasoning on them is amazing! Salty and spicy, yum! The meal also included buttered toast, but it looked like a simple piece of Arnold's Italian Bread from the grocery store. The Spicy Magoo Sauce was okay; there's a distinct flavor there that I couldn't put my finger on. The Garlic Parm sauce was okay, too, and would be great on pasta, or with garlic breadsticks... not the best for chicken fingers. Lastly, the lemonade was on point, so much better than the Hubert's Lemonade I get at Subway (which is one of my favorite fast food lemonades). 

We headed north to Sanford, and I stopped to take a few photos at Lake Monroe, and then we continued on State Road 17 all the way up to Palatka. I had a few more stops planned between Sanford and home, but we were just exhausted, so we just went home. 

Lake Monroe shoreline in Sanford

Once we unpacked, I was in bed by 8:30. I updated my blog notes for this post, tweeted a bit, and then passed out. 

This was a fun weekend, but not as adventurous as I was hoping. But with that being said, Hubby is open to spending more time in The Keys, so maybe in a year or so, we'll plan a weekend that is dedicated to the islands (and parasailing, dammit). 

Ooooh, I Wanna Take Ya.... - Florida Road Trip - Day 2

Oooh, I was so stoked when I woke up this morning! Today I was going to do something I've wanted to do forever! I mean, living in Florida, by beaches, I always saw these ginormous parachutes near the beach, and I always wanted to do that! So, yup... today I was going to finally go parasailing!  

We were up and out of the hotel by 8 or so. I decided to go ahead and wear my 'bathing suit' so I didn't have to change later (though it was only gym shorts and a running tee). We hit a local RaceTrac for some morning caffeine and found the "Welcome to Florida City" sign, in a pretty janky part of town. Florida City, while hardly known about at all, is best known for being the southernmost municipality in mainland Florida. It's basically just a suburb of Miami... 

 (You too can find this awesome sign at 90 NE 3rd Street, Florida City 33034)

Full view of the sign without our giant heads in the way

Our trip today included heading down to Key Largo and Islamorada. Hubby isn't a fan of bridges, but thought he'd be able to handle this much (especially after checking out all the bridges on Google Maps). When planning the trip originally, he didn't think he'd be able to make it all the way down to Key West; Seven-Mile Bridge was way too much for him to think about.

Pretty much as soon as we get onto US-1, he's freaking out, though. If you've never traveled through this area, US-1 is a two-lane road (one lane in each direction), and you have to go over what appeared a relatively long bridge (when we looked it up on Google Maps). Once we got to the coast, though, it seemed like it was more regular road over very flat swampy land - no bridge in sight. But Hubby, letting his fear of bridges freak him out, keeps waiting for a huge bridge to appear... And to make matters worse, people are driving like absolute idiots! Driving way too fast, then slamming on their brakes, then speeding up again, then more brake slamming. Hubby was freaking out because he didn't want to get stuck on the bridge with this stop-and-go traffic; I was freaking out because I didn't want to deal with stop-and-go traffic and a neurotic passenger! Luckily, he chilled out a bit when he jokingly said it "was probably some tourist up at the front of the line stopping to take pictures every five minutes." 

Imagine these people, but with cameras

It turned out there was a small fender bender (gee, could the stop-and-go traffic have been the culprit?) and the speeding idiots would see the cop lights and slam on their brakes. Imagine 10 miles of this... ugh!

Once we made it over to Key Largo, he did much better. Traffic was still heavy, and still crazy, but at least he wasn't freaking out about bridges anymore. I'd planned to stop for breakfast, but we never did (do we ever, really?) We did pit stop at the Islamorada Visitor Center for a few photos before heading to Sundance Watersports at Robbie's for my parasailing!

Islamorada Visitor Center

He had the option to ride in the boat but not fly (parasail), but because he also isn't a fan of being in open water, he was operating under the rule of "All or Nothing" - he either came and flew with me, or didn't come at all. He'd been trying to decide all day, and decided to stay in the car. Oh, well! Maybe next time he'll be more adventurous. I grabbed the GoPro and my other gear and headed in to find the operator... only to be told that parasailing trips where cancelled!!!

Seriously!!!!???!!! Yep! Apparently, the boat was broken, so there would be no parasailing today. I asked the operator for some suggestions of other parasail operators nearby, and he said I should go to Chico's "a few miles that way" (I thought he pointed south, but apparently he pointed north), or go to Sundowner's (apparently in Key Largo; we'd already passed it). I thanked him and we headed south, looking for Chico's. We never found it, and later discovered why... It was NORTH, also in Key Largo, and it was "Cheeca's," not Chico's. 

 

But we kept going south anyway, and I started taking bets internally on how far we could make it before he freaked out about all the bridges. Every time we got to a bridge, I'd wait for him to say something, and he never did. But then... a mile before Seven-Mile Bridge, he says "Oh, shit, it's that big bridge!" By this point, there wasn't a really good place for me to turn around quickly (and safely, without getting rear-ended), so I just told him to bear down and enjoy the ride! 

All I could think, the entire time I was driving, was holy shit, this is so pretty! and I sure do wish I could take pictures... but he gets nervous when I do that on bridges he's unfamiliar with (I drive with one hand and shoot with the other), so I respected his phobia and kept my hands at 10 and 2. I did spot Fred the Tree and his pretty little tree girlfriend (I got a crappy photo on the way back). Once on the other side of the bridge, Hubby relaxed a bit and I was proud of him. He did good. 

Once we crossed, I think he decided it was time for a mission - he began talking about getting lunch on Key West! We settled in for another hour's drive and enjoyed the views while talking about nothing, making various innuendos, and giggling like idiots. 

Since I honestly didn't think he'd make it to Key West, I was unfamiliar with the area. We followed US-1 to the area near Key West Bight Marina and paid to park on Caroline Street. In my defense, I saw water and got confused... we ended up on the Northern part of the island, instead of the Southern part. Rather than waste that five bucks we paid for parking, we just walked along pretty much all of Duval Street, about 2.6 miles round trip. 

On the plus side, we got a free walking tour of Key West!

We saw what looked to be the cutest, tiniest Circle K ever

But we made it! We officially made it to the Southernmost Point of the Contiguous United States! 

There must have been 50 people in line for a photo at the buoy

We're even more south than they are! We're behind the buoy!

On the way back, I thought we'd stop in some of the gift shops to pick up a magnet or tee-shirt, but all of them had "Masks Required" signs (ugh), and when we decided to enter one maskless, we were hassled within a minute. She hollered at us from her perch behind the counter, so I simply said I didn't have one, said thank you and left. 

Finally found a Key West Chicken on the way back to the car

Hot, disgusting, sweaty, and chafed by the time we got back to the car, we tried to figure out what to do for lunch. Logic would dictate we go to a local seafood joint and enjoy all the bounties of the sea, but of course we didn't. 

First we drove back north along A1A (beachfront avenue!) around the other side of the island, then came back and ate like stoners at Sonic. Yeah, really. Sometimes you just want to snarf on tots and Blasts. While we waited for our food, I got half-naked in the backseat and changed out of my bathing suit bottoms and into normal shorts. I don't know if Hubby was more entertained by the fact that I had the balls to do it, or that I was able to do it in such an awkward space! 

Sometimes you just need Dr. Pepper and a Cherry Slush!

Key West Momma Chicken and Bebe Chickens!

Sated, full of cheeseburgers and ice cream, we headed back up US-1 to mainland Florida. We stopped in a Tom Thumb convenience store (not impressed) and picked up a "Mile 0" magnet, because at this point, most of the roadside gift shops were closed for the day. 

We plan on it!

Random photo

Random Photo before we go over that bridge over there

Fred! 

We took the Turnpike up to Dandee Donuts in Margate, and splurged on a half-dozen donuts. I got the following:

Vanilla Cream (4 Stars, very tasty)
Vanilla Frosted Yeast Ring (2 Stars, icing was hard)
Sugar Twisty (4 Stars, would be better fresh {I ate next day})
Sour Cream Glazed (2 Stars, was told it tasted like "funnel cake".... it didn't)
Hubby got the Double Chocolate, Oreo, and Strawberry Sprinkle

They are massive! 

Tired, and ready to crash, we checked in to our hotel in Homestead, tweeted for a little bit while we ate some donuts, and then hit the hay. 

Tomorrow wraps up our Florida Adventure, and we'll head inland through some of the less touristy parts of my state, before heading home. 

Gasparilla? Kind of! - Florida Road Trip - Day 1

We just back from a great weekend exploring our home state of Florida, courtesy of the Gasparilla Weekend being a bust. Last year, when we all assumed Covid would be pretty much over by February 2021, I signed up for GW. It was rescheduled and then changed to virtual, to occur in May 2021. I am too cheap to pay $35+ to have my swag shipped to me, so we chose to drive down there, and then make a weekend of it. 

We were up super-early and on the road by 7:30am, after grabbing sodas at Circle K and McDonald's Sausage Biscuits. We got to the Tampa Convention Center by 10am and were able to park in the tiny parking lot in front of the Convention Center (the same lot where we parked my first year running, actually!). We had to go in a different door (on the ground floor) and go through a Temperature Screening. Thankfully, there was no mask requirement (so, of course, we went mask free, because duh), but a lot of people were still choosing to mask. 

Inside the Expo, all of the volunteers were great and helpful. I got my Challenge swag, my 5k swag, and then we walked around the 95% empty expo. We got a bagful of free rice and pasta from the Success / Ronzoni booth, and took some silly photos with the Meb cutout and race backdrop. 

I moved Meb so I could be first!

Could I be any stiffer?

We got back on the road and headed south for a bit before thinking about lunch. We decided to keep driving and look at signs for ideas (when does this ever work?). At some point, Garmin had us exit onto "Tucker's Grade" near Ft. Myers, and we ended up stuck on a bunch of surface roads, before being instructed to get back on the interstate... 

 

It sent us along the PINK line instead of the PURPLE line

No idea why; maybe there was an accident on the interstate and Garmin automatically re-routed us. On the upside, we got to see more of the Tamiami Trail as we (slowly) drove through South Florida. And we got to see P.P.'s tricked-out Altima - it was covered in some sort of dots or bedazzled or something.

 

There were dots and sparkles everywhere

North FL has Deer Crossing Signs... South FL has Panther Crossing Signs

The whole time we were on surface streets, we never found anything that called our name for lunch, so we kept going. We ended up at Culver's for some Jesus Burgers and fried cheese.

When planning this trip, I thought it'd be more fun to drive along the Tamiami Trail, rather than speed through it on Interstate 75, and... well... it was kind of boring. I guess I was expecting more jungly, swampy, thick goodness, but... it just looked like the rest of Florida! 

We stopped at the Skunk Ape Headquarters for a quick photo op with the derpy Florida Panther and Harry the Skunk Ape.

He's making the face, isn't he?

He and his nipples are so cute!

We stopped at HP Williams Roadside Park and I wandered around the small boardwalk taking photos and looking for alligators. Didn't take a lot of looking - they were everywhere! I think at one point, I got a headcount of 15 in my view at one time! Of course, none of the photos captured this. 

You Are Here

Looking North along Turner River Canal

Peek-a-Boo

This big guy was hanging out right near the shore!

Our next stop was the Ochopee Post Office, famous for being the Smallest Post Office in the United States. Previously a storage facility for JT Gaunt Company's tomato farm irrigation pipes, this 61.3sf storage building was converted into a Post Office in 1953 after a fire that destroyed the previous Post Office and general store. It has been in continuous use ever since! It serves three counties, including deliveries to the Seminole and Miccosukee Indians in the region. As you can imagine, it's not very busy, but does a good business with tourists and stamp collectors from all over the world, seeking the famed Ochopee postmark. I picked up a postcard for a buck and took a few photos, as well as taking some family photos for others when they asked. 

Ochopee Post Office Historical Plaque

"My dad was a mailman." --John Kasich

Next up, it was time for a snack. I knew that there was a dive called Joanie's Blue Crab Cafe that was well-reviewed on Yelp for a certain reason. But I was more interested in pie! Many of the menus I'd seen included Key Lime and Peanut Butter pies, so we were ready for something sweet. 

The building was cute, originally a cattle barn, then a bulk oil business. Next door is a filling station said to be the first concrete-block building in Collier County. Joanie's restaurant opened in 1987 serving local items and displaying artwork, as well as postcards sent from well-wishers around the world. 

Yeah. There is no "fast" at Joanie's.

We easily found seats inside the overly warm, non-air conditioned dining room. Sadly, there was no Peanut Butter Pie, so Hubby and I split a slice of Key Lime Pie and two sodas. The pie was heavenly, but just a smidge too gritty and too sweet. 

2 Sodas + 1 Slice of Pie = $16

He had maybe a quarter of it, I had half of it, and we left the last quarter on the table. It was way too much in the heat, unfortunately. On the way out, I took a detour to the bathroom to see the thing that Joanie's has become famous for... Nekkid photos in the bathrooms. I'd seen these on Yelp, and I just laughed like hell when I saw them. In the men's room, you'll get to view full-on frontal, trimmed, untrimmed, small and perky, big and bouncy, boobular glory. In the ladies room? We get tushies and innuendo shots. 

I mean, it is a good tushie...

Calm down, that's just his arm.

One thing I noticed the entire time we drove along was that there were never "Welcome to the Everglades!" signs, or "Thanks for visiting the Everglades!" signs. I really would have loved to stop for a photo with something like that. Oh well, we left the 'Glades and entered actual "South Florida." 

 

Y'all... the traffic on the Turnpike was INSANE on the way to the hotel. Granted, okay, it was Friday (now that I think about it), so people were driving home from work, but damn, people. You're the people who give Florida Drivers a bad name. We made it safely to our hotel in Homestead, where I enjoyed a hot bath in the "seriously NOT a soaker tub" bathtub before spending some quality time with Hubby. 

 

Nice hotel room with separate seating area and workspace

I honestly can't remember what we even did for dinner... I think we were too tired to go anywhere, so we slept early, so we could get an early start tomorrow.

A Race! With PEOPLE! - Spud Run 5k 2021 Race Report

Last year sucked. Let's just get that out of the way. I'm not talking about the cooties, we all know that sucked, but I'm talking about the fall out from the cooties. Closed businesses. Rising unemployment. Toilet paper shortages. It sucked. 

One specific thing that sucked was that in-person races stopped. Races were my carrot, the thing that got me off the couch every weekend, either to train for one, or to attend one. With no carrot, I had no reason to do anything. And for many months, with no gym, I used all of it as an excuse to not do anything at all. 

Flash forward to now - we have races again!!! Very, very slowly, like a timid deer after a thunderstorm, they are reemerging slowly. They are reemerging quicker in... well, places that were never overly scared of the cooties to begin with. But I digress (to keep politics out of it).  

So, I was stoked to be able to sign up for one of my favorites and run it today! 

After getting Hubby to work a bit early, I headed towards Hastings, getting caught in a lot more traffic than usual. I was confused, especially when I saw traffic jams in Palatka, but when I got home later, I saw that today was the 2021 Mug Race, which is apparently a 38 nautical mile one-way race down the St. John's River from Palatka to Orange Park, FL, and open to all sailboats with mast height 44ft or less. Well, I guess that certainly does explain all the boats I saw!

Anyway, I got to Hastings right at about 8am, picked up my packet, bib, and shirt, and headed back to the car. I put on my shoes and geared up, leaving everything else in the trunk, as usual. I walked around, trying out my new FauxPro (generic GoPro), and was happy to see that probably 99% of the crowd was mask-free!

Many of the 5k runners were still completing the 10k

I lined up with everyone at the start and off we go - God it felt good to do this again!!

So cute in their matching skorts and hats!

Sadly, within minutes, my wireless earbuds were dead. I could have sworn I charged them? Guess not. I spent the rest of the race listening to my own asthmatic wheezing and the insipid conversations of those around me. 

Son, you are dissapoint

A few minutes after that, I realized I couldn't hear the noise from my bib - I've done enough of these over the years to hear the specific swish/crinkle of my bib. I looked down, and son of a bitch! I FORGOT to put on the bib! I have never made such a rookie mistake, LOL. At this point, I was technically breaking the rules, but I kept on going. I was certainly not fast, but I knew I wasn't going to be last. 

There should be a bib there, on that skirt

At Mile 1.5, instead of cups of water, they handed out tiny 8oz bottles of water. I tucked one into my pocket for later, since my water bottle was still full and cold. 

The only Mile Marker I got a photo of!

I didn't take a lot of photos since I was trying out the FauxPro. I need to edit those, so I'll put them in later. 

Unharvested cabbage plants

According to Garmin, I finished with a respectable (for me) 57:22. Okay, so that's 10 minutes over my official PR time, but again... cooties, no running for a year, etc... I'm happy with it. The Finish Line clock shows my time at 58:06. This time would have put me at 239th out of 248 total runners. Again, respectable. 

Dude it's so hot!

I got my medal (safely tucked into a plastic bag so as not to spread those cooties) and picked up an ice-cold water, then went back to the car to grab my bib. I was hoping to find a race official who could update my time using the results from my Garmin (and the bib was there to prove I was who I said I was). 

Unfortunately, I never saw anyone in any official capacity - they could have been standing next to me for all I know! - and eventually gave up. I emailed the Race Director when I got home, but I never got a response and as of July, my results sill aren't there, so I've just let it go.

I went over to pick up my potatoes and cabbage, but only cabbage was left. However, the lady gave me ten huge heads of cabbage because they'd harvested so much, so I was able to share the bounty with a friend of ours, who then passed the bounty on to other friends of his - the town had never been fartier!

I also picked up a few post-race goodies like Rice Krispie Treats and headed out. I changed at a local RaceTrac gas station and grabbed a Gatorade (which took me about 1.28 seconds to guzzle down) and then headed over to Chick-fil-a for lunch. Unfortunately it was drive-though only, but they're so damn efficient, the wait was minimal. I ended up eating my nuggs in the parking lot of the nearby Home Depot. 

This Chick-fil-a has you go around the building THREE times!

Once full, I hit up Dollar Tree for organizing baskets for my office, then slipped down the road to Buc-ee's at World Golf Village. I ended up spending over a hundred bucks on stuff (and that doesn't include gas!). I picked up the following goodies:

• Long Sleeve Shirt (Heather Grey w/logo on the breast area)
• Short Sleeve Shirt (Black, with 80s style Buc-ee)
• Wooden plaque to turn in to magnet
• Florida  Magnet (to retroactively complete the FL-to-WI Road Trip set)
• Chocolate Pudding Cups (one for each of us)
• Banana Pudding Cup
• Cheese Cup
• Smoked Stix (like Slim Jims)
• Teriyaki Beef Jerky
• Buc-ee's Steak Seasoning
• Salted Caramel Beaver Nuggets (off balance, too salty not sweet enough)
• Cinnamon Sugar Beaver Nuggets
• Fountain Lemonade (Buc-ee's brand)
• Fountain Pepsi
• Chopped Brisket Sandwich
• Beaver Chips (homemade potato chips)
• Chocolate Fudge
• Cream Cheese Colache  
• Cinnamon Roll
• Bumper sticker (to turn in to magnet)
• Sticker Set (some for magnets, some for water bottles/etc)

I think it was about 5 bags... whoops! Anyway, I filled up the gas tank, then tucked myself out of the way to do a YouTube video tasting of the sandwich and the chips, and then headed home.