Gasparilla? Kind of! - Florida Road Trip - Day 1

We just back from a great weekend exploring our home state of Florida, courtesy of the Gasparilla Weekend being a bust. Last year, when we all assumed Covid would be pretty much over by February 2021, I signed up for GW. It was rescheduled and then changed to virtual, to occur in May 2021. I am too cheap to pay $35+ to have my swag shipped to me, so we chose to drive down there, and then make a weekend of it. 

We were up super-early and on the road by 7:30am, after grabbing sodas at Circle K and McDonald's Sausage Biscuits. We got to the Tampa Convention Center by 10am and were able to park in the tiny parking lot in front of the Convention Center (the same lot where we parked my first year running, actually!). We had to go in a different door (on the ground floor) and go through a Temperature Screening. Thankfully, there was no mask requirement (so, of course, we went mask free, because duh), but a lot of people were still choosing to mask. 

Inside the Expo, all of the volunteers were great and helpful. I got my Challenge swag, my 5k swag, and then we walked around the 95% empty expo. We got a bagful of free rice and pasta from the Success / Ronzoni booth, and took some silly photos with the Meb cutout and race backdrop. 

I moved Meb so I could be first!

Could I be any stiffer?

We got back on the road and headed south for a bit before thinking about lunch. We decided to keep driving and look at signs for ideas (when does this ever work?). At some point, Garmin had us exit onto "Tucker's Grade" near Ft. Myers, and we ended up stuck on a bunch of surface roads, before being instructed to get back on the interstate... 

 

It sent us along the PINK line instead of the PURPLE line

No idea why; maybe there was an accident on the interstate and Garmin automatically re-routed us. On the upside, we got to see more of the Tamiami Trail as we (slowly) drove through South Florida. And we got to see P.P.'s tricked-out Altima - it was covered in some sort of dots or bedazzled or something.

 

There were dots and sparkles everywhere

North FL has Deer Crossing Signs... South FL has Panther Crossing Signs

The whole time we were on surface streets, we never found anything that called our name for lunch, so we kept going. We ended up at Culver's for some Jesus Burgers and fried cheese.

When planning this trip, I thought it'd be more fun to drive along the Tamiami Trail, rather than speed through it on Interstate 75, and... well... it was kind of boring. I guess I was expecting more jungly, swampy, thick goodness, but... it just looked like the rest of Florida! 

We stopped at the Skunk Ape Headquarters for a quick photo op with the derpy Florida Panther and Harry the Skunk Ape.

He's making the face, isn't he?

He and his nipples are so cute!

We stopped at HP Williams Roadside Park and I wandered around the small boardwalk taking photos and looking for alligators. Didn't take a lot of looking - they were everywhere! I think at one point, I got a headcount of 15 in my view at one time! Of course, none of the photos captured this. 

You Are Here

Looking North along Turner River Canal

Peek-a-Boo

This big guy was hanging out right near the shore!

Our next stop was the Ochopee Post Office, famous for being the Smallest Post Office in the United States. Previously a storage facility for JT Gaunt Company's tomato farm irrigation pipes, this 61.3sf storage building was converted into a Post Office in 1953 after a fire that destroyed the previous Post Office and general store. It has been in continuous use ever since! It serves three counties, including deliveries to the Seminole and Miccosukee Indians in the region. As you can imagine, it's not very busy, but does a good business with tourists and stamp collectors from all over the world, seeking the famed Ochopee postmark. I picked up a postcard for a buck and took a few photos, as well as taking some family photos for others when they asked. 

Ochopee Post Office Historical Plaque

"My dad was a mailman." --John Kasich

Next up, it was time for a snack. I knew that there was a dive called Joanie's Blue Crab Cafe that was well-reviewed on Yelp for a certain reason. But I was more interested in pie! Many of the menus I'd seen included Key Lime and Peanut Butter pies, so we were ready for something sweet. 

The building was cute, originally a cattle barn, then a bulk oil business. Next door is a filling station said to be the first concrete-block building in Collier County. Joanie's restaurant opened in 1987 serving local items and displaying artwork, as well as postcards sent from well-wishers around the world. 

Yeah. There is no "fast" at Joanie's.

We easily found seats inside the overly warm, non-air conditioned dining room. Sadly, there was no Peanut Butter Pie, so Hubby and I split a slice of Key Lime Pie and two sodas. The pie was heavenly, but just a smidge too gritty and too sweet. 

2 Sodas + 1 Slice of Pie = $16

He had maybe a quarter of it, I had half of it, and we left the last quarter on the table. It was way too much in the heat, unfortunately. On the way out, I took a detour to the bathroom to see the thing that Joanie's has become famous for... Nekkid photos in the bathrooms. I'd seen these on Yelp, and I just laughed like hell when I saw them. In the men's room, you'll get to view full-on frontal, trimmed, untrimmed, small and perky, big and bouncy, boobular glory. In the ladies room? We get tushies and innuendo shots. 

I mean, it is a good tushie...

Calm down, that's just his arm.

One thing I noticed the entire time we drove along was that there were never "Welcome to the Everglades!" signs, or "Thanks for visiting the Everglades!" signs. I really would have loved to stop for a photo with something like that. Oh well, we left the 'Glades and entered actual "South Florida." 

 

Y'all... the traffic on the Turnpike was INSANE on the way to the hotel. Granted, okay, it was Friday (now that I think about it), so people were driving home from work, but damn, people. You're the people who give Florida Drivers a bad name. We made it safely to our hotel in Homestead, where I enjoyed a hot bath in the "seriously NOT a soaker tub" bathtub before spending some quality time with Hubby. 

 

Nice hotel room with separate seating area and workspace

I honestly can't remember what we even did for dinner... I think we were too tired to go anywhere, so we slept early, so we could get an early start tomorrow.