I know, I know... How many more mopey posts am I gonna post? Even I'm tired of it all!
I just wanted to share that I didn't run Celebration Half-Marathon this year, and it sucks.
Last year, I DNF'd the 11th Annual Celebration Half-Marathon, due to some pretty aggressive Plantar Fasciitis (and later discovered small heel spur). I was able to make it to Mile 6 before I finished and sagged to the Finish Line.
I wallowed in that for a few months, and began to think that maybe halfs aren't my thing anymore. I'm closer to 50 than I am 40. Maybe I should pull back. I had a good run, over a decade of halfs under my belt. Almost 20! I never came to any final decision, though, just letting it hang out there, figuring that I'd feel one way or another by the time registration opened in October.
And then... the whole Mystery Pain and Kidney Disease saga began, just a few months later. All of my time and energy was focused on him. I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped going to the gym and going for runs, hell, even going for walks. Other health issues came up, both for him and for me. Spring turned to summer and summer turned to fall. Soon, registration opened for Celebration.
And with a heavy sigh, I deleted the email. I wasn't in the right mind-set or physical shape to start training for a half-marathon again. There were way too many other things on my plate that had to take priority over a silly race. I wasn't okay with that decision - it made me sad - but it was the best decision for me, in that moment.
Fall turned to winter, and I began to miss the thought of doing Celebration. It's become such a thing that I just do every January. I felt listless, with nothing to prepare for, while at the same time, I was happy to not have to go out and do long runs every Sunday in the cold, when I was worried about other things.
Really, to put it plainly, it's just been a weird-ass year.
So, Race Day Sunday came and went. Thankfully, I didn't dwell on it too much, but there definitely was a yearning to be torturing myself for 13 miles in the central Florida sunshine! I looked up the weather, and it looked perfect (seriously, look at that photo)! 45º at the start, 66º at 11am, bright and sunshiny. (With my luck, if I do it in 2026, it will be 35º and rainy again!)
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| Random photo to show how perfect it was on Sunday! |
But... it is what it is. I'm backsliding freakishly quick. I see it. I feel it. I definitely feel it, with my stiff muscles and increased heart rate and tighter pants. So what do I do? Is this the kick in the ass I actually need? Can I put myself first at any point, and rewire my brain to understand that taking care of me is necessary to take care of us? Can I get my willpower back and get my ass off the couch on a gym day? That's the hardest part, honestly... I've slipped all the way back to Fuck It territory, and I don't like it here. It's scary, but it's warm and it's comfortable and it has snacks.
In the next few weeks, I'll be doing Gasparilla and Gate River Run; let's see how those both play out. Maybe that's the kick-start I need.
Or maybe I'm delusional... Who knows?!?
