Thursday, August 25, 2011
In the fall of 2010, I finally got a new job working for the county government. I was happy to be working again – I’m not someone who enjoys NOT working. I’ve been here for over a year and I’m pretty happy. It’s a job and a paycheck, but it sure would be nice to get a raise!
But anyway, all that is just background. During the time I was unemployed, our family would go and do Disney for free – we’d go to DTD, watch Wishes from the Poly or TTC and dream about going back. At some point while reading DisBoards, I learned about the Princess Half Marathon. It sounded fun, but at over 200 pounds, with smoker’s lungs and a wonky cardio system, there was no way I’d be able to do it – I figured it was only for runners, anyway. I put it out of my mind and forgot all about it. Also in 2009, since I had no job, I was able to go to the University of Florida’s homecoming parade. My daughter and I saw the runners from the Gator Gallop and I joked that maybe next year I’d run in that. Yeah right!
One day in early 2011 at a meeting at work, one of my coworkers – who is over 40 and JUST had a baby a MONTH before, told me that she was going to be out of the office in a few weeks so that she could do the Princess. I kind of looked at her and said to myself – “WTF? She’s running right after having a baby (and a C-Section, at that!)? What the hell excuse do YOU have, fat ass?” After that, it kind of stayed in my head, as a ‘One Day’ kind of goal, but nothing I was seriously ready to go after yet.
2011 continued uneventfully until the end of summer. (More background info – I have suffered migraines for decades). I experienced an extremely debilitating headache that lasted for almost a week and I finally said Fuck It – I gotta find a doctor that will actually TREAT these things. I’ve been told many things from other doctors: They aren’t that bad, you only get them because you are fat, take hot baths, bullshit like that. I’ve had doctors laugh at me when I told them I thought they were weather-related.
In August 2011, I went to my doctor’s office and saw a wonderful woman who was a headache sufferer herself and after she listened to me describe the hell I live with (and I cried a bit while explaining them because they have gotten that bad), she told me that she thought the majority of them were actually tension headaches! She wrote me a prescription for a migraine med and for massage therapy. I was to go once a week for 6 weeks and report back to the doc.
Now, I know most of you don’t know me, but believe me when I say that I am a very LOGICAL person. I am a firm believer in Western Medicine. If it hurts, take a pill until it doesn’t hurt any more. If it’s broken, use tools and fix it. Massage, yoga, acupuncture, weird teas – this is not medicine. This is HOKUM. But, by this point, I was ready for hokum. After a few days, I worked up the courage (yes, I was scared) and called the therapist she recommended. The lady had a funny name, which reinforced my idea of “hokum”. I set up an appoint to go before work the next week.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
One of the things they (who are ‘they’ anyway?) suggest that you when you are trying to reach a goal is to TELL EVERYONE your goal so that there is accountability.
I’ve never wanted to do this because I’ve never felt like I’ve needed to. I also felt like I would be made fun of when the inevitable failure happened. Of course, I never felt like I was striving for something either. I have a few adult accomplishments under my belt - I’ve graduated college, gotten married, bought a house, had a child, quit smoking 5 years ago, bought a brand new car – but none of these feel like I’m striving towards something for ME. I’m a wife and a mom and I think that I have let myself linger in the background for far too long.
A few years ago, I worked at a company that paid for a fitness boot camp. I signed up for it and went religiously – there were only about 5 of us that did, including one great guy who we lost last year to cancer. I lost about 15 pounds during that time, and was able to do 15 man pushups. I still couldn’t run for shit and my cardio system could barely keep up – I would get dizzy a lot. Once the program was over, I tried to continue going to the YMCA to get on the elliptical or treadmill, but it was not the same. I didn’t get the same feeling that I did at the boot camp.
Due to the economy and people not wanting things constructed, I was laid off in 2009. Because the Y was in the same neighborhood as the company, and was frequented by LOTS of people who knew both me and where I no longer worked, I didn’t want to go and have people give me the pity “so…. How ARE you doooooooooing?” crap. I didn’t die – I got laid off. I don’t think I have set foot back in the Y since then.
During the time I was laid off, I sat on my ass either on the couch or in front of the computer - it was now my job to FIND a job. It was hell. I became much more sedentary than before. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. The only upside is that throughout it all, I never did smoke or feel the need to smoke.
To be continued….
Just a quick note to let everyone know that there is going to be a lot more action on this blog pretty soon! I have a goal, I have a set date, and it involves NOT being lazy!
Stay tuned for the details!
Stay tuned for the details!