I Love that Dirty Water! - Anniversary Adventure Day 3

Just like yesterday, I was unable to sleep in, my body waking me up at 7:30am, so I went and got some of the free hotel breakfast and brought it back to the room to chill and tweet while Hubby woke up. Bless his heart, he felt so bad about last night (the argument about the bridge), he spent a bunch of time finding a way to get over to Mud Island that didn't involve the bridge. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd already found a way, as a back-up, just in case! I love him for finding a solution, rather than simply saying fuck it and writing off the entire thing. 

Observing him observing the Mississippi River

Looking northwest, upstream

Looking south, toward Interstate 40

Forbidden whipped cream

Challenge Complete! My feet are IN the Mississippi River!

We packed up and checked out, heading to Mud Island, via the very-much-not-scary-longer-way, and Mission Accomplished!!! I was able to get my feet in the Mississippi River!! Ever since I started planning this trip, I was determined to get my feet in the damn river, but everything I searched out on the internet said it was too dangerous, or couldn't be done, or shouldn't be done, or that there wasn't a way... Well, bitches, I found a way! Back when I was searching for a way to access the river, I had the bright idea to search for boat ramps. I mean... duh! Personal watercraft have to have a way to get in the river, right? So, I searched, and found one right by Beale Street and just down the road from our hotel. I was super-stoked about it, because there was also some cool touristy type stuff over on Mud Island, too. The detour (to avoid the bridge) only cost us about a mile, and was probably the better route in the long run, to avoid a lot of tourists on the bridge itself. 

When we pulled up to the parking area, there was one guy there on a motorcycle having a cigarette, so we gave him the privacy to finish before we got out of the car to look around. Now, it's a boat ramp, so it's certainly not a tourist destination, and it certainly didn't feel like one, either. No facilities to speak of, it was just a ramp. And that's all I needed.  I took my happy ass right down to the water and plunked my feet in up to my ankles, and all was right with the world. The water looked disgusting, with some sort of foamy funk gathering around downed tree branches and such, but I didn't care. Everyone in the universe knows that the Mississippi one of the most dirtiest rivers in America (third, after the Calcasieu and the Ohio Rivers, actually). 

After I pulled my feet from the river, I picked up a few rocks from the surrounding areas - hopefully they weren't just chunks of concrete, lol - and wandered around to take some more photos. Then we headed back to the car, where I dutifully and thoroughly wiped my feet and my flip-flops down with multiple baby wipes, and we headed North (ETA: I just realized that we never did all the touristy Mud Island stuff I had planned! Whoops!)

Of course I got rocks!

Anyway, we made the bridge trip that Hubby had been worried about the most, for the entire trip - we crossed the Mighty Mississip into Arkansas. We stopped at a Love's Travel Stop for a potty and a magnet, then thought about lunch... After some parking lot Googling, we found a place called Tacker's Shake Shack, in Marion, Arkansas, and even better, was only about 10 minutes away. When we pulled up, the outside didn't match the inside, like I was expecting... it looked a little boring.

Welcome to Arkansas!

It's a little...modern... for what I was expecting. Even with the neon.

But inside! Inside was great! Coca-Cola, Elvis, John Wayne nostalgia! Black & white checkerboard floors with red booths. I was loving it! 

It took us probably 10 minutes just to figure out what we wanted... because we wanted it all. Their menu is huge, and it all sounded delicious. I settled for a Corn Dog with Tater Tots, while Hubby got a classic Cheeseburger and fries. And soda, of course (bonus points; they had the good Sonic-style ice!) While we waited at our booth, I took the time to go to the "Where're You From?" wall and stick a pin in Florida. Quirky... I love stuff like that! (Plus, it gave me an idea...).

Photo courtesy of J.J. on Yelp

Our meals came out within 5 minutes or so, and I gotta say, both of them looked delicious. I think the corn dog was a standard, frozen State Fair Corn Dog (which was cooked badly, so the breading absorbed too much grease, leaving the inside portion mushy), but the tots were spectacular. They were dark, golden brown, super-crunchy; just how I like 'em. But the winner at the table was Hubby's cheeseburger. It was just freakin' spectacular. The burger patty had little crunchy edges from being on the flat-top, and the bun was toasted, so it didn't sog out from all the burger juices. The perfect combo would have been that burger (with bacon) and my tots! 

The view from our table, looking towards kitchen and ice cream area

Hubby's Burger and Fries & My Dog and Tots

We got milkshakes to go (along with soda refills) - he got banana, which was made with real bananas, and I got vanilla (which was heavenly) - but sadly, about an hour outside Portia, Arkansas, my tummy started talking to me. We stopped at a Jordan's and I hightailed it inside. The only open stall was a handicap stall, and, yeah (we all do it... don't judge me), I plopped my tumultuous tushie right down on that handicap toilet and did some damage. Almost done, I hear someone else come in, and wouldn't you just know it... it was a handicapped older woman with her daughter! I felt horrible (and not just because of the milkshake)! I finished up and left, thankful that both she and her daughter were able to use the regular stalls (and so that I didn't have to do the Sorry I Used the Handicap Stall Walk of Shame). Unfortunately, my milkshake brought all the farts to the yard, so I had to go back in for Round 2. This time, I used a regular stall. As I'm sitting there, I realize that Handicapped Mom is still in the stall, and I can hear her lamenting that she can't get herself off the toilet to unlock the door... 

The guilt, ladies and gentlemen... the guilt I felt for being the reason that this poor old woman was stuck on the toilet, embarrassed... I felt terrible!!! But it got WORSE! I can hear her oofing, and grunting, trying to use her shoe to open the toilet latch. And then, with tears in her voice, she starts to tell her daughter how depressed she is that she has to deal with this every day, and how she hates having to be a burden on her daughter...

You GUYS! I. Felt. Like. TRASH. But I didn't want to, I guess, intrude on this episode, so I stayed in that stall until they were all done and gone. They probably had no idea that it was me who got them into the predicament to begin with (the stall walls went all the way to the floor, so they never saw my feet), and I didn't want the mom to get embarrassed after her comments, nor did I want the daughter to feel bad for having to deal with the situation. So I just stayed in there. Hubby thought I was having a hell of time in there, I guess, when I finally came out! I explained to him the situation while we dove off to our next town - Flippin, Arkansas. 

Ah, geez, it's the Flippin' Church of God!

I mean... if you see a town with a funny name, you gotta stop, right? You gotta see the Flippin Park, and the Flippin High School, or even Flippin City Hall. We were looking for Hickey City Park in Flippin, because, again... funny name (and the very obvious photo opportunity), but we never found it, mostly because we were getting tired at this point, and didn't want to look for it... So we took a quick photo near Flippin City Hall and made our way out of town. (FYI, Flippin was named after local farmer Thomas Flippin, but only after being called Barrens and Goatsville first!)

So flattering....

This next part of the trip was like a weird fever dream. It still seems a little surreal, like we're the only people who know of this road, or something, but on our way to Branson (our stop for the next two nights), we drove along AR-202, presumably to the town of Summit, where we would turn onto AR-14. 

Nah... In Garmin's "Find a Shorter Route" madness, it instead sent us down Marion County Road 8052. After the first quarter-mile, it began to climb, and it turned to gravel (I guess they don't have "dirt roads" in the mountains... they have gravel roads.) Anyway, Not only was it steeply climbing, it was very wind-y, too. As you can imagine, if you've read my blog long enough, Hubby was not enjoying himself. He was clawing at the armrests, trying to stay calm. I told him multiple times, that I was okay with turning around and finding another route (I mean, why in the world did Garmin send us this way?!?) But, he said multiple times that he was fine, and felt okay to keep going (my grandmother often said "the best way out is always through"), so we kept going. 

Every few minutes, though, we'd come to another curve in the road, and I'd hear him curse under his breath, all the while I'm trying to keep my eyes on the road, and off the absolutely gorgeous scenery unfolding around me. The road kept climbing, and we reached a plateau that overlooked the valley below us and it was just breathtaking. I mean, seriously, I wanted to pull into some stranger's driveway, knock on their door, and say "Excuse me, but do you know you live in heaven? I'd like to sit on your porch swing and take a million photos of your view! Are you okay with that?" Grand, spell-binding, awe-inspiring, breathtaking views of a lush green valley full of trees... spectacular. But (sigh), the only objective was to get to the other side of this road, and off the mountain before he had a heart attack. 

Welcome to Missouri

I looked later, when we got home, and the road we were on wasn't even a "real" enough road for Google to map out! There's no Google Street View for the 3 miles worth of road we drove... Speaking of 3 miles, I also checked to see how much of a time-saver this was, and well... it wasn't. If we'd gone down to Summit on AR-202, it would have been 65.5 miles (1 hour, 18 minutes). Instead, we took the Road No One Knows About, saving 3.2 miles, and... 1 minute. But, I would suspect that it actually cost us more time, in the end, since we only went about 20mph the entire way! But you know what? Adventure! When in our lives would we ever purposefully drive on that road? Never! So, we would never have seen the beauty of that valley. And I feel blessed for having seen it. 

We made it out before he exploded, deposited safely onto AR-14, which were more wind-y roads (not as bad as what we just dealt with though!). It felt like I was in a car commercial again (like when we drove down from NY into PA this past March). 

As we got closer to Branson, Garmin gifted us with another randomly awesome road; this time is was a "Business Route" that gave us an amazing "Radiator Springs" type of view, just outside Branson itself on State Road 76. 

Holy crap, it's so pretty!

Soooooooooooo pretty! 

After that, we were in Branson proper, the "Vegas of the Ozarks." I'd been psyched about this part of the trip, too, because I remember being a kid when Branson was becoming a tourist area. I remember my famewhore of a father think that he should go to Branson and make it big (doing what? who knows...). I had vague recollections of Yakoff Smirnoff having a comedy show in Branson (Yakoff was very popular when I was a kid... what a country!). So, prior to the trip I did a lot of research and I knew what to expect. Hubby, however, had no idea. I'd told him a little bit, but kept him in the dark. I wanted to surprise him. 

As we drove down the main drag, Hubby started turning into a little kid. Ooh, Mini-Golf! Ferris Wheel! Go-Carts! Mountain Coaster!! Oooh, ooh, ooh! I loved his reaction. We made it to our hotel, then started researching what we wanted to do for dinner. So many local places, though, were closed early (it was about 9pm at this point). Very odd for a touristy destination! We ended up at a Freddy's Steakburgers, which was tasty. Reminded me of a Steak 'n' Shake. The fries were skinny as hell (just like SnS), but they were good with melted cheese! 

Single cheeseburger, fries, with a side of melted cheese

Back at the hotel, I took a long bath, tweeted for a bit, then zonked right out. We had a long day today, and an adventure-filled day tomorrow! 

                                                 Shirt of the Day                                                 

Strange Planet Summer Camp

Was It Mike Rowe!!!??? - Anniversary Adventure Day 2

I was up really early this morning - 7:30am - probably because yesterday we'd crossed over into the Central Time Zone, west of Tallahassee.  I lazed around for a bit before waking Hubby up, then going downstairs to pick up some breakfast (wasn't much, but I got some juice at least). We packed up and left, headed back to the historic section of Laurel to just walk around and look at houses. 

So... why Laurel, Mississippi? I can hear yourself asking. Why not more popular cities in Mississippi? Well, it's because we're dorks. Over the past few years, Hubby and I have chosen to binge watch one TV show before bed, and recently we'd watched a ton of Home Town on HGTV. We absolutely fell in love with Erin & Ben Napier (the couple who renovate the homes on the show), and fell in love with the town of Laurel. When I realized how close it was to us, it became one of the focal points in our road trip. It wasn't that much out of the way, and it seemed like it would be fun to walk around and say "I remember that episode! We saw that house!" 

Literally the only home I took a photo of... and I have no idea if it's a TV house!

Unfortunately, Florida Humidity can't hold a candle to Mississippi Muggy, and it turned out that we only had the patience to tour one street. We parked near the Laurel Little Theater and walked up NW 5th Avenue, passing the adorable little kids at St. John's Day School, the Rogers-Green House, the Lauren Rogers Museum of Art, and multiple bed & breakfasts. After a few blocks, we turned around and walked back, on the other side of the street, and came back to the car... it was just too stupid-hot for this (bad planning on my part!!!) We hung out in the car for about 10 minutes, sucking up that gorgeous air conditioning, then headed back out to walk around the city square. First, we popped into Sweet Somethings for breakfast, where we devoured a fresh cinnamon roll (he ate about 2/3 of it; it was a little too sweet for me, but would have been amazing if it were served warm and gooey). We also picked up two cookies, but we completely forgot we had them until we unpacked the car two weeks later! 

Not really sure why he made that face, but look at that cinnamon roll!

Yeah, we devoured it.

We were the only ones in the whole place!

Welcome to Downtown Laurel, Mississippi

The City of Laurel gets it!

Around the corner, we got a quick photo at the Laurel mural, took our cookies to the car, then drove over to the Laurel Mercantile. Yes, we could have walked... it was maybe .2 miles, but come on! Mississippi humidity! Anyway, once there, there was a sign that said Masks Required. Hubby opted to stay in the car, since we could only find one mask (though, once inside, no one was actually wearing masks, so I put mine in my pocket). Inside is very cute, and old-fashioned (exactly what they were going for), with lots of kitchen items, home goods, candles, and the like. I looked at all the tee shirts, but decided against buying any, since the fun shirts would be found across the street at The Scotsman. I ended up picking up a tote bag, a room spray, a magnet, and a few stickers. All in all, I think I spent about $40, which wasn't terrible, especially when you realize this is basically the "gift shop" for a popular TV show. 

Another Mural and Another Clint

Our next stop, and the one I was even more jazzed about, was The Scotsman General Store. If The Mercantile was "Erin," than The Scotsman is "Ben." This is the fun place, full of wood, leather, dad jokes, and snacks. I was looking forward to a few nostalgic glass-bottle drinks, a few tee shirts, maybe a wall sign or two! If we were really lucky, we'd be able to see Ben working in the workshop.

When we get there, though, and start walking toward the front doors, we are stopped by a lovely staff member who informed us that (sadz), the store was closed for filming. He very nicely offered to take a photo of us in front of Clint (Ben's blue truck), which we did, of course! Thinking back now, we should have realized something was going on... the entire exterior of the store - and the truck - was gussied up for Christmas! In September! 

I rested my left arm on Clint's mirror, but it just looks weird here

Upon further discussion with the staff member, they were filming the Ben's Workshop Christmas Special (duh). I cheekily asked who the celebrity guest would be, and he started hemming and hawing, like he didn't want to say. Eventually he said "I dunno... uh... I think one of those Deadliest Catch folks..." Hubby and I guessed that it was someone famous enough that it would cause a scene if people knew exactly who it was. As we walked back to the car, I said to Hubby, "OMG, what if it was MIKE ROWE!!!" (For those who don't know, Mike Rowe is the narrator for Deadliest Catch.) I would DIE if I were that close to Mike Rowe (he's so cute and hot and funny and hot and snarky and hot...waves away a middle-age hot flash). Later, we found out that it was not Mike Rowe, but Captain Sig & his (very pregnant daughter) Mandy Hansen, as well as tWitch and Allison Boss. 

Dreams of seeing the inside of The Scotsman, of meeting Ben, of flirting with Mike Rowe, crushed, we got on the road and headed to Memphis. First, we stopped at a Clark's gas station on US-84 and I peed in what might have been the most disgusting men's bathroom I'd ever been in (the women's was being cleaned, and I really had to go). Then, when I went to get a soda, they had large cups, but no large lids! I was told that the lids for the hot boiled peanut cups would fit, so I used one of those, and planned on swapping out with a lid I threw in the backseat of the car. The weirdness wasn't over, because as I brought my cup to the counter, the cashier whipped out a boxcutter, just inches from my face, and asked if I wanted the lid cut open so I could drink with a straw.... No, lady... I'm good. I just want to get out of here!

After a few hours on the road, we pit-stopped in Winona, Mississippi, solely because we are both kids of the 90s, and Primus' Wynona's Big Brown Beaver is one of the best damn songs of our teenage years. 

We found Winona City Hall and literally took photos of our beavers (behave) in front of the sign. Yes, we literally brought two beavers with us (because two beavers are better than one), on this trip around the Southern United States, simply for a five-minute photo op! What, you don't do that? Oh just wait!

I wish there'd been a better way to get the sign and the beavers in the same shot

Buc-ee, and another beaver I've had for years

We made it to Memphis and Beale Street by 7pm, right near sunset. We paid about $15 to park a block or so away (not bad for a tourist area).

Welcome to Tennessee!

Where we parked - Beale Street about 2 blocks west

Now, I've never actually been to Beale Street before, but... I was expecting more. The Beale Street part of Beale Street was only about two blocks! Sure, it had a pretty entrance/exit sign, and lots of murals and such, but it was the busiest, most-crowded, dirtiest, drunkest two blocks I think I may have ever encountered! And this was while it was still daylight! (To be fair, I've never been to New Orleans...)

The calm before the drunk storm

We stopped at the cool mural of wings made of music icons, outside of Tin Roof, for some photos, and a group of already-drunk ladies came up next to us, wanting to take photos as well. While I took photos of Hubby, one of the girls, Michelle, said that hubby and I looked the same and wanted to know how long we'd been together. She about fell over when I replied, "twenty-five years!" We talked for a few minutes, and after realizing she was already pretty blitzed, I gave her some good Mom Advice on holding her booze (you know, don't get raging drunk, alternate water and booze, stay hydrated, etc). Hopefully she listened and had a memorable night that didn't involve puking on a sidewalk!

Not sure why I cocked my head that way...

What a handsome guy

Again... why do I move my head this way? 

At the end of Beale Street Beale Street, we continued down to the river, so I could finally get my eyeballs on The Big Muddy. I took way too many photos (I'll spare you from the majority of what I shot). 

Tail end of a beautiful sunset to the west... 

... and the Hernando de Soto Bridge to the east

At one point, Hubby was looking at the Hernando de Soto Bridge (the one utilized by I-40, across the river), and he wondered what the other bridge was, and I told him that it was a bridge to drive over to Mud Island. He immediately declared NOPE, we ain't goin' there! (Remember, fear of heights and strange bridges). Uh, yeah we are... it's on the itinerary for tomorrow. We got in a fight about how I never told him about that bridge, or showed it to him, or cleared it with him, blah blah blah. And how I "must not know him at all" if I thought that he wouldn't freak out about this huge bridge... All the while, I'm trying to calm him down, that we've crossed bridges higher than that before without him even knowing about them, and he was fine. He was adamant that I was a horrible person for not warning him about this mile-high bridge... 

I refused to continue to argue, especially in a public park, so I just shut up and continued to walk around, taking photos, eventually climbing up to the top of Beale Street Landing, a weird raised area that was just a bunch of grass (I think BSL is the name for the entire area, not just the weird hill, but I'm not sure). Anyway, at the top, I asked him to "pretend he wasn't mad at me" so we could take a selfie together. After that, we made up and all was well again. 

That face... 

After the sunset, we headed back toward the car, and realized that, ooof, the trek back was uphill... suck! It also became apparent that Beale Street was much busier, and much more "Neon-awesome" after dark (it was amazing, I wish I'd brought my tripod for awesome night photography, but that may have been overkill). There were people everywhere, walking around with booze (not a shock), and I was being catcalled by so many bar bouncers, and there was an over-abundance of "Ooh Girls" (for those of you who are new, "Ooh Girls" are those ladies - or men - whose outfits or general look makes you say "ooh, girl!"). It amazes me what women think is sexy, or looks hot, in places like this! 

So much neon! Love it!

Selling all sorts of Light-up gizmos! Capitalism for the win!

Exiting Beale Street

On our way out, we asked one of the policemen (who were blocking the street) why there were so many motorcycles, and he said it was because Wednesday Night was Bike Night! Sweet! According to the website: 

Motorcycle enthusiasts descend on Downtown every Wednesday night to be able to park on the most iconic street in America! It's all about bragging rights and strutting your stuff with amazing motorcycles of every shape, size, brand and year. Come on down to this family-friendly event, and don't forget your camera!

Once we made it to our hotel for the night, I headed in to check in, and entered a Karening in Progress. From what I could piece together (both during the Karening, as well as talking to the staff after), Karen (a dude) was harassing the check-in clerk about making everyone wear masks. When I entered the lobby, he began yelling at Clerk (obviously, not his name) to make me put on my mask, bellowing, "If I gotta wear a mask, she gotta wear a mask, too!" Clerk, the entire time, is giggling, apologizing to me, and talking to the guy (in a nice, but sarcastic way... you could tell he was done with the guy). I even offered to mask up (though I damn sure didn't want to), but he said it was only recommended, not required (so I didn't put one on). Apparently, Karen had gone next door to a restaurant (not affiliated in any way with the hotel), and the restaurant told him he was required to put on a mask when he was there. Then, when he came back to the hotel, a hotel maid told him he should wear a mask (should, not must). So he decided to come down and bitch about the whole thing to the front desk clerk. He'd been going on for about 10 minutes before I came in. Oh, and shocker... this dude is also way drunk. 

I apologized to Clerk for having to deal with this bullshit, and he gave me the best response ever: "Ma'am, I got seven kids - all daughters - he's nothing!" Hell yeah, Clerk! You rock. 

We went upstairs to unpack and google around for somewhere for dinner, settling on a place called Dixie Queen. It was a few miles from the hotel, but the reviews were great, so we took a chance. When we got there, we wondered what we'd gotten ourselves into... It was a drive-thru only (like a Checker's), and it looked like trash. Like "bad neighborhood" trash. 

Only one wing? 

Photo unceremoniously stolen from the Intarwebz

But, these places oftentimes have the tastiest food, so we braved the janky drive-thru and long lines, to be rewarded with greasy bags full of delicious junk food. I got a single cheeseburger, Hubby got a double cheeseburger, plus a small order of battered, seasoned fries for each of us. All for about $14! And it was delicious. Even after driving all the way back to the hotel, it was still amazing...

Single Cheeseburger with Battered Fries

Afterwards, I washed off the grease with a soak in a bubble bath, then chilled with Twitter before calling it a night. Whew!

                                                 Shirt of the Day                                                 

Black Buc-ee's Tee

No link, that I can find

$14.99 In-Store Purchase

And We're Off! - Anniversary Adventure Day 1

I woke up this morning around 6:30, too excited to sleep. It was finally time for adventure! I hopped in the shower, then drank my juice while I twittered for a bit. After waking up the Hubby, we packed up The VW Lovebud (our stanky rental car) and hit the road. 

Found these in the arm console... thanks, Previous Renter!

Until about 10 minutes after we left, when we couldn't remember if we locked the doors of our personal car! So, we turned around, drove back home, hit the "lock" button on my key fob, then left the house again. At this point, it was almost 10:30am when we finally got onto the Interstate. 

Due to all the issues, we forewent our planned lunch in Chipley (which would have ended up happening around 2pm at this point) and stopped instead for McDonald's and Chick-fil-A in Lake City, Florida. While we sat in the drive-thru, we heard on the radio that Interstate 10 was closed at the Interstate 75 connector (which was exactly where we needed to go). Rather than get on I-75 anyway, and following whatever detour was available, we instead hopped on US-90 and headed west to Madison, FL. We picked up some Uncle Ray's hot chips, and two mini Blizzards at the DQ inside a Fast Track Truck Stop in Madison, then watched some weird-ass people while we sat in our car (slightly stoned out of our minds from the stank of this vehicle). At one point, we saw a rather questionable-looking woman, who I dubbed "Tallahassee Trashy." She may or may not have been strung out on meth. 

Back on the road, we drove until we hit Alabama before we took a pit-stop for gas, snacks, and potties. I picked up a few bags of Golden Flake chips this time. 

Do you see it? 

I had to turn around and take photos! 

Jesus approves of this message!

Once we left the interstate, we were on US-84, a two-lane road, and stuck behind log trucks... welcome to the South! Finally, though, we made it to Mississippi, woo hoo!

Back Roads = Less Traffic (not a car in sight!)

Once in Laurel, we did a quick drive around to acquaint ourselves with downtown and the historic district before heading to our hotel, which was only 5 minutes away. 

Check in was smooth, and we got an "Accessible Room" with a bathtub. The room was nice and big, too (maybe because it was "accessible?") I unpacked a little bit, went and grabbed some ice, then celebrated with some Naked Time. Afterward, we planned on going to Phillips Drive-In, but sadly, it was closed when we got there. We picked up a sub to share from Subway and took it back to the hotel. I soaked away the miles in a hot bubble bath, tweeted while I ate dinner, and fell asleep pretty quickly after that!

If you are interested, I'm going to link to my Shirt of the Day every day. If you're not interested, well then... whatever!  

                                                 Shirt of the Day                                                 

Shirt of the Day - Welcome to Murica

Two Years in the Making, It's Finally Time to Road Trip! - Anniversary Adventure Day 0

It's finally time!! Tomorrow is the first day of our Anniversary Adventure Road Trip, and of course, it had to start with picking up the rental car. 

I bussed over to our tiny local airport and headed to the Avis counter. A flight must have just recently landed, because there were people making their way out of the airport, or picking up their baggage, but I didn't think anything of it at the time (literally just realized it now). I originally rented a Full-Size SUV (previously got a Toyota Forerunner, for comparison). 

When the clerk pulled up my reservation, she stated that all she had available was a Jeep. I said I was fine with that, thinking it'd be like a Compass or a Cherokee). I got the keys and headed out to the parking lot, only to see that she gave me a Wrangler. Okay... not exactly the vibe I was going for, but I guess I'm stuck with it. (I looked it up later, and this reservation would have been $1,400!) I headed out of town, so I could feel how the vehicle handled on an open road with a higher speed limit. 

I wasn't impressed. It felt... wiggly. The steering was loose, like I felt like I had to turn the wheel 90 degrees just to change lanes. It wobbled any time I got above 75mph. The front window was small, and close to my face, which was off-putting. The cabin was tiny and claustrophobic, and not very comfortable. Because there was so much exposed metal, it was very echo-y, too. I knew within 5 minutes that I hated it. But what could I do? I picked up Hubby from work and we headed back to the house (he hated it, too, so it wasn't just me being picky). Hoping to get some information, I tried to call Avis, but all I got was their national phone-tree nonsense. I tried to call other Avis' (Avises?) to see if I could get a human, but no luck. I hopped on the Intarwebz and learned that I could simply go back to any Avis rental counter and swap out vehicles. Okay, thank goodness!

I hopped back in the Jeep and drove back to the airport to swap out. The person I originally dealt with was gone, and the guy I dealt with this time was very cheerful and understanding. Luckily, they had more vehicles available at this point, so he gave me the option of either a VW Tiguan (7-seat), or a Mitsubishi Highlander. My brain said "Oooh, VW is more of a luxury brand than is Mitsubishi, choose that one!" So, we went with the VW. Again, I headed out to the lot and found my gorgeous white VW. Now this is more like it! It had heated seats, dual climate zones, and a cool panoramic moon roof thing!

But ...

Ow, lawd, she smelled like pot. Big time did she smell like pot. How in the hell did a vehicle that just got turned in smell like weed? And if it smelled this bad when it was turned in, how in the hell did they put it back into inventory!? Was the guy in the Washing & Detailing Department sitting in this car, smoking a fattie before putting it in its parking spot? Like, honestly, WTF?! 

Surely it will air out before tomorrow, right? 

(As a previous cigarette smoker, this may be the stupidest thing I thought...)

Not wanting to be "a Karen" or "That Customer" who went back in and traded a car for a third time, I decided to suck it up and deal with it. I'd let the rental agent know about the stink when I returned the car and everything would be fine! 

Feeling virtuous and smart (lol), I drove the SUV home, where I showed off the vehicle to hubby. The moment we opened the doors, he physically recoiled from the stank.

Okay, maybe it's worse than I thought. Nothing a little Febreze can't handle, right?

Nope. She still stank the morning of our trip. In fact, she stank every single day of our trip... we just got a little more used to it, I suppose. 

Anyway, today was quite an eventful day, when I wasn't expecting one! Here's hoping we don't have any other issues on this road trip!