Once upon a time, I was a Lazy Lady. In 2011, I decided to train for a half-marathon and since then, I've done 5ks, 10ks, 15ks, a few trail runs and over fifteen half-marathons! I haven't lost my focus though; I'm still lazy, and I'm still frugal, so please pull up a chair and join me in my continuing endeavor to be healthy, frugal, and happy!
I feel like I've been neglecting you, my tiny little blog! Hubs and I have started making YouTube videos, where we try new foods or drinks, and we've been having lots of fun.
A few weeks ago, I'd picked up a few different containers of ice cream, to munch on while I recovered from Lasik. Then I got a wild hair that we should make a video where we compare tons of different mint (or mint-adjacent) ice cream flavors, so I picked up the following flavors to try, amassing 13 total flavors to try:
Tillamook Mint Chocolate Chip
Prestige It's Mint to Be Creme de Menthe Ice Cream (Winn-Dixie store brand)
Blue Bell Peppermint Bark
Talenti Mediterranean Mint Gelato
Great Value Mint Chip Ice Cream
Van Leeuwen Artisan French Peppermint Stick Ice Cream
Scoops Ahoy Mint Flare Ice Cream
Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Mayfield Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Häagen Dazs Mint Chip
Häagen Dazs Peppermint Bark
Publix Premium Peppermint Stick Ice Cream
Publix Premium Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
So with a ton of ice cream, we sat down and stuffed ourselves silly with ice cream (and gelato). I had a few preconceived ideas going in to this tasting, some of which got blasted out of the water! Before trying anything, I stated that my favorite mint chocolate chip is Breyer's, and my favorite peppermint is Publix Premium Peppermint Stick Ice Cream.
So what were our findings? On first taste of each, we said:
Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
No green food coloring, it's the best, it's so freakin' good
Scoops Ahoy Mint Flare Ice Cream
Tastes like a Baskin Robins flavor, fake but not bad, no chemical aftertaste, overall meh
Van Leeuwen Artisan French Peppermint Stick Ice Cream
Real pink, not fake pink, unpleasant artificial aftertaste, I'd eat it if someone gave it to me
Mayfield Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Bright fake green, tastes weird, tasted like "freezer," both of us made faces when we tasted it, had a fluffy texture with little shards of chocolate (instead of chunks)
Publix Premium Peppermint Stick Ice Cream
It's mellow and minty with little red and green mint candies, no weird aftertaste; fluffier than Breyer's, but not better than Breyer's
Prestige It's Mint to Be Creme de Menthe Ice Cream
Tasty, not a lot of mint, but good texture with little mint chocolate cup pieces
Talenti Mediterranean Mint Gelato
Green, but not a fake green; bad aftertaste, didn't taste minty - did being gelato skew the flavor? I remember this being much tastier in the past, or does it taste bad now, in comparison to the other flavors?
Häagen Dazs Mint Chip
Very tasty, with flat chunks of dark chocolate, good texture, very highly rated
Publix Premium Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Green, looks similar to Mayfield with shards of chocolate; not much flavor (like "Hint o' Mint"); you only know it's mint because it's green
Great Value Mint Chip Ice Cream
It's a pretty light green, not very minty, much lighter in weight when compared to Häagen Dazs Mint Chip, tastes like "buck & a half" ice cream
Tillamook Mint Chocolate Chip
Big pieces of chocolate that feels soft, naturally minty (still faint), chocolate has weird aftertaste
Häagen Dazs Peppermint Bark
Good, but different from all the others; Hubby liked this over the Peppermint Bark (I liked this more)
Blue Bell Peppermint Bark
There's no peppermint bark or chocolate at the top of the container, which made tasting the entire ice cream difficult, though when you do get a piece of bark, it's a nice substantial size; on second taste, we both liked Häagen Dazs Peppermint Bark much better
And our final ratings, from worst to first:
Talenti Mediterranean Mint Gelato
Great Value Mint Chip Ice Cream
Scoops Ahoy Mint Flare Ice Cream
Van Leeuwen Artisan French Peppermint Stick Ice Cream
Mayfield Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Publix Premium Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Tillamook Mint Chocolate Chip
Blue Bell Peppermint Bark
Publix Premium Peppermint Stick Ice Cream
Häagen Dazs Peppermint Bark
Prestige It's Mint to Be Creme de Menthe Ice Cream
Häagen Dazs Mint Chip
Which means that Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip is the winner and still the #1 Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in my world!
Am I surprised by this ranking? A little, actually... Going into this, I thought that Talenti and Van Leeuwen would be much higher, and I expected the Prestige to be pretty bad. I was surprised that the Mayfield was as bad is it was, when I truly love their Vanilla recipe. But with Breyer's and Publix, I'm not shocked to see them rise so high to the top.
(Hi there, Lazy Lady from June 2024... I still have so much ice cream in my freezer! Breyer's, both Publix, and HD Mint are all still there, staring at me. We've eaten everything else, even the Talenti and Van Leeuwen and Great Value. They were definitely bottom of the barrel, but I hate letting food go to waste!)
I think something went wrong during my laser eye surgery…
I can see just fine but I can’t figure out how to shoot the lasers
I kid, of course. Let's back up.
On Tuesday, I scheduled a Lyft to take us to Eye Associates, as well as scheduling a pizza delivery for Wednesday night (I didn't know how I'd feel afterward and I certainly wasn't gonna cook!) I set my watch alarm for 5:30am, but didn't sleep well; I was too wound up. Both of us were fully awake and ready to go by 6:30am. I ate a little bit of breakfast, as instructed (so the Xanax didn't irritate my stomach), and dressed in a comfy outfit (leggings, oversized hoodie, and sneakers). Our Lyft driver showed up early and we arrived at Eye Associates before they were even officially open!
...but so ready!
What other socks would be as appropriate?
Once inside, I officially paid for my procedure, with a single credit-card swipe for $3,360 (oof, that hurt) then tried to sit calmly in the lobby. As painful as it was to make that payment, I had to remind myself that it covered the pre-op, procedure, and four follow-up visits, as well as amazing customer service by everyone involved). Oh, and because I used a credit card with rewards, I earned $33 in rewards (and I'll use my FSA to pay back the credit card).
$2,880 paid via FSA (installments via paycheck) $480 "Out of Pocket" Paid
I got called back around 7:15am, where a very calm and reassuring nurse covered my hair with a cap and put some paper booties on my feet. She washed my orbital/eye area (eyebrows to upper cheeks) and gave me to "magic pills" (which I assume was the Xanax, but I don't know the dose). I was left on a slightly uncomfortable stretcher for about a half-hour while I chilled out to let the Xanax kick in.
No stray hairs allowed!
Booties over Keds - all the kids are wearing it this way
The nurses came back to check on me a few times. At one point, Dr. W came by and put some Naphcon-A drops in my eyes; it's not something that everyone needs, but he was worried about bleeding during the procedure, so better safe than sorry!). They also gave me the numbing drops at this point. He asked if I was nervous, and I said yeah, but I'm not trying to think about it, so they gave me another pill (uh... okay!) Weirdly, I never felt my eyes go numb. I guess because you don't feel your eyes to begin with, you wouldn't feel them go numb, either...
Maybe five minutes after this, they walked me into the Lasik room. I remember that it was big, but all I could focus on was the actual bed/machine. The room was large (seemed too large, really) and there were different pieces of furniture or tables in the room (like surgical stuff), but all I could focus on was this smaller than I was expecting but still huge bed. Flat as hell, with a C-shaped apparatus at the head of the table. I was instructed to lay on the bed with my head under the C-arm. I was given a bolster to put under my knees to help with back strain, and then they began to move the bed to get me centered under the lasers and lights. I kept wanting to tip my head back and raise my chin, but Dr. W kept telling me to tuck my chin down (yeah, double-chin!). Eventually with the help of an additional little pillow, they got me where I needed to be.
There was one nurse to the right of me who was narrating the entire thing for me, telling me what to do, which was great - it eliminated any surprises that might startle me. As we began, all I had to do was just look at the green dot in the C-arm. They taped my left eye closed and then put a patch over it to keep it moist, and ensure that I wouldn't see anything or have the urge to blink. On my right eye, Dr. W had me look up toward my forehead so that he could use a super-secure sticker-type thing to hold my eyelid open. Then I looked down toward my chin so he could pull my bottom lid down. Once the two lids were open wide, he inserted a spreader that rested on the stickers and tightened it to keep my eye open wide (imagine A Clockwork Orange, but with less violence). As I sat there with my eyeball out to the world, they used ample amounts of irrigation solution (sterile water) to keep my eyeball moist.
If you get squeamish about eyeball stuff, you might want to just scroll on down until you get to the funny Cat video down there... I'm going to be as detailed as possible! Ready? Ready. Let's keep going.
The C-arm above my head had eight bright white lights, two red dots (which I assumed were the actual lasers), and a green light. My entire job for the next 15 minutes was to stare at this green light, unless Dr. W told me to do otherwise. It was cool as hell, too... I was seeing lots of weird shapes and bad-ass fucking fractals (though to be fair... I may have been tripping out because of the Xanax). As I stared at the green light, I was told that I was going to feel some pressure. This was the part I was most worried about, because I didn't know how much pressure I'd feel, and I was worried that it would cause a migraine once this was all over (it didn't). And honestly, it wasn't much more pressure than what you'd feel when you rub your eyes after a long day. The pressure came from an instrument that I envisioned to look like a cup on a stick, with the cup... well, cupping my eye. This instrument is what was cutting a flap on the surface of my eyeball. As they put it on, they said that my vision would begin to disappear and yeah, it totally did! My field of vision started to shrink, from the outside in, like an old-school TV that was turning off, until there was just a super-tiny pinpoint left. I could see vague shadows for a minute, but eventually that disappeared too. It was weird as hell to see vague shadows in your vision when you know your eye is wide open, and kind of trippy, too.
Once the flap was created, there was some quiet buzzing, which was the laser, then a burning smell! They may have told me, or I might have assumed, but I'm pretty sure the smell was the laser actually reshaping my cornea (I just googled it, and apparently it wasn't burning anything; the smell was the chemical reaction from the reshaping). With the cornea reshaped, my flap was put back, and I could begin to see the lights again, and went right back to staring at the green light. Dr. W shone a light sideways across the surface of my eye to ensure that the flap had seated correctly. When he was satisfied with the flap location, he started brushing my eye with something white. My brain imagined a tiny silicone spatula frosting a cake. The nurse didn't narrate this part, but I'm assuming that they're kind of smoothing the flap back down so it can begin to reattach and heal. The whole time that he was stroking my eyeball, he was squirting more drops into my eye and then timing it (I remember him asking a nurse for the time at one point). Then he'd repeat the process - wipe, drops, wipe, drops, wipe, drops. Once he finished the wiping and dropping, that eye was done! They proceeded to repeat the process on the left eye (spread it, cut the flap, laser the eye, wipe/drop/wipe, done). Seriously, that was soooo much easier than I was expecting! (I found out later, that in between eyes, someone was nice enough to go out to the lobby to let Hubby know that they'd finished one eye already and were moving on to the next).
When both eyes were done, and released from the Clockwork Orange spreaders, they sat me up and walked me over to the Split Lamp machine (where you put your chin in it) so he could get a good close-up look at his handiwork. He said that everything looked great, then took me next door to a recovery room while a nurse when to get Hubby. Dr. W said that there were no issues, everything went well, and left us with the nurse, who gave us my post-op instructions. I was instructed to go home and sleep (yes, please) and wear a pair of goggles at all times for the next 24 hours, even when sleeping and around the house. Also, don't rub my eyes (hard to do in goggles), use the prescription drops every two hours, and just rest my eyes as much as possible. I was scheduled to come back the following morning for the first of four follow-up visits.
I have never felt sexier than this moment
The entire event, from getting there that morning, to getting in the Lyft to go home, was under three hours. The surgery itself was probably ten minutes per eye. Maybe fifteen.
Welcome back! Let's continue.
When we got home, I crawled back into bed, as instructed, and at first, I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep; 1) because the goggles suck, and 2) my brain was going a mile a minute. But next thing I knew, it was noon, Hubby was waking me up to check on me, and encourage me to do my eye drops. I went back to sleep for another hour or so, but finally had to drag my ass out of bed at 2pm. Seriously... the BEST sleep I've had in YEARS... I totally understand why people like Xanax now!
Anyway, out of bed, I just futzed around the rest of the day (still in my super-sexy goggles, of course!). I sat on my ass and watched stupid stuff on YouTube and surfed the internet. I ate pizza for dinner and cake for dessert, watched silly TV, and passed out HARD by 9:30.
So, this cake is masterful... Not only does it have the Googly Eyes and funny eye puns, but also... the writing is pink, like Pink Eye!
The following morning, I was able to drive us over to the office. I was still seeing some stars and haloes around headlights, but was later assured that these should go away in a month or so. They tested my vision again and said it was 20/20-2 (this means that I missed 2 out of 5 letters on the 20/20 vision line). Dr. W checked my eyes again with the Slit Lamp machine and said that everything was looking exactly like it should. I will need to continue my eyedrops for the next week, wear the googles while I sleep for the next week, and refrain from anything that would strain my yes (like pooping too hard or weightlifting, but I was given the okay to participate in the Carry Forward 5k this weekend). I was given a paper to carry in my car, in case I have an encounter with law enforcement who inquires about the "corrective lenses" endorsement on my driver's license. Eventually, I'll need to change that with the DHSMV, but I'll do that when my license is due for renewal in a few years. On the way home, I picked up a bagel from a local bakery and a big ass soda from Circle K. I spent the rest of the day dropping my eyes, trying not to touch my eyes, and zoning out to YouTube (I'm so bored!) I got some laundry done too, taking advantage of the time away from work. On Saturday, I did the Carry Forward 5k in Jax, and besides one bout of dry eyes, I had no issues.
During the week after the procedure, I've been putting drops in my eyes four times a day, plus using a preservative-free type of eye drop called iVizia to combat dryness, which is a major issue after Lasik. I've definitely noticed an increase in dryness as I get further away from the surgery.
But... let's talk about these goggles. They suck. They SUCK. I know they're needed, and I understand why they're needed. But they put pressure on my face in a way that instantly triggers headaches for me. And in an attempt to avoid that pressure, I am apparently sleeping in weird positions that put strain on my neck, which - you guessed it - triggers headaches. I've been dealing with constant headaches for the last three days thanks to these things. Also, because my eyes are trying to get used to their new normal, they feel very tired. Imagine a camera that has auto-focus, how it goes in and out of focus constantly trying to get a clear picture... that's what I feel my eyes are doing, and it's tiring. And headache-inducing, lol.
At my one-week follow up yesterday, we did all the testing again, and I was told that I was looking excellent. I stated that I felt like my vision got a little worse, and Dr. W stated that it might be because of dryness... If eyes feel dry, they've been dry. So I should increase my use of eye drops - the wetter, the better, he said! I don't have to use the prescription drops anymore, nor the goggles (thank God), and I can start wearing eye makeup again, like mascara. It's also safe to allow water near my eyes, such as washing my face or showering. No swimming for quite a while!
I'll go back after Thanksgiving for my one-month follow up, and then in early March for my three-month (and final) follow up. I've been advised that whatever vision I have in March will be what I have forever. The stars and haloes should clear up, but may not go away completely. I'll still need readers, but I've been rocking those for years already anyway.
So, the verdict? Am I happy that I did this? ABSOLUTELY. It's only been a few weeks and I have the same vision I had with my contacts, but none of the bullshit problems I had with those. Every day I feel like my vision is getting incrementally better. I'll see something and think, could I see that the day before? or was that sign always there? I'm hopeful that my night vision improves, but I've had stars and haloes for so long, I don't think I'd know what to do without them, lol!
And lastly, I'm wildly happy that I chose to stay local and go with Eye Associates of Gainesville! Everyone at EAoG knows my name and took care of both me AND Hubby while we were there. There were no coupons or sales, but for the price I paid, the service and quality cannot be beat. I'd recommend EAoG to anyone in the blink of an eye. #NotSponsored, I promise. They're just that good!
I'll leave you with a few more jokes, including the one I told everyone at the doctor's office while I was loopy on Xanax!
Where do rabbits get their eyes checked? --At the HOPtometrist!
What do you call a clumsy ophthalmologist? --An Eye Dropper!
This'll be a super tiny race report, mostly because I forgot all about it! I've been focusing so much on my Lasik surgery, I didn't even realize I'd registered for this until it popped up on my calendar a few weeks ago! Whoops!
We Still Miss Each and Every One of You
Anyway, I got the okay from Dr. Sweeney that I could do it, so I headed to Jax and walked a 5k with almost two thousand other folks. Everything was fine except for one issue of severe dry eye... I'm still so new to this "good eyeball" thing that I didn't even think to tuck some eye drops into my pocket. Ever try to walk down the road with your eyes closed? I don't recommend it.
Here's just some random photos from my morning. Finished in about 58 minutes.
Masses of bodies all over
Ready to walk on this chilly November morning
So many people!
He pulled a TIRE and still beat me!
We all earned the same medal, though
Afterward, I had a thoroughly pathetic breakfast at Whataburger (the biscuit was good, the chicken was not), then I spent way too much time and money at Hobby Lobby and Dollar Tree (it's Christmas DIY time!)
Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit & Hash Brown Sticks
Now, it's time for me to give my eyeballs some more time to get better!
Back in the day, School Nurses actually did a lot of real work. One thing they did was annual Vision and Hearing checks. When I got my vision checked, she told me that I needed glasses. I never knew my vision was bad! On the way to get glasses, my dad pointed out a far away road sign and told me to say when I could see it clearly. We got closer, closer, closer, until it was almost parallel to the car before I could crisply and cleanly see the speed limit sign. I said so, and he whistled under his breath. Yeah, I needed glasses. So, I spent the last 2 years of high school in some dorky wire-rimmed glasses.
I miss that gloriously thick hair (The guy? Not so much)
I also had them in my first year of college, and I can confirm that guys DO make passes at girls who wear glasses, because I got married to a hot guy that year.
Today I Learned that this phrase is actually a poem by Dorothy Parker!
I used some of my student loan money in my second year of college to finally get contacts, and man, I never went back to glasses! So easy to wear, I was never 'blind' again! I wore them all the time, longer than I was supposed to, even sleeping in them every night. The only downside was that they were expensive back then! And we were pretty poor when we first got married. So I started hoarding them; instead of throwing them away at the end of the week, I'd clean them and put them into rotation. I'd wear two pair, rotating them every week, until they irritated my eyes so much I had to rip them out and throw them away. I did this for years, even after the need to hoard and save money had gone away. It was just habit at this point.
Over the past few years, though, I don't know what changed, but I would start to get irritated eyes much easier than I used to. It felt like at least once every few months, I had to take a contact out and suffer through a day or two of an eye infection. Like, the logical part of me knew that it was all my fault that I was suffering, because I didn't change my contacts, but it was just such an ingrained habit that I never changed what I did.
Around 2020, I started thinking seriously about Lasik. A lady I know at work had it done, and she told me about it - and how much it cost - and I realized that it was something I could probably do! I'd always thought that Lasik would require multiple days of me being laid up, not being able to see, not being able to function as a human, and not being able to be the boss of the family (you know, the cooking, the cleaning, the Mom's Taxi?) But I was wrong!
And, then, of course... Covid happened. Shit got weird and I put thoughts of Lasik on the back burner until 2022. At that point, I made a plan to get it done in 2023. I set up a larger limit on my FSA (Flexible Spending Account) to cover the cost. I picked out some dates on my calendar to aim for.
And then, 2023 happened. I got as far as going to the initial consultation to see if I even qualified to get Lasik, but after that, all hell broke loose, and there was no way I could take the time to deal with my eyes. Plus, because of some of my own health issues, I had to use up a lot of my FSA funds on other things. So I readjusted my plans, refilled my FSA and set a concrete plan for Lasik in the fall.
And here we are! I've worn glasses or contacts for the past 30 years. And now... I've taken my contacts out for the very last time. It was a little sad, honestly? Like, it's it's been a part of my life for all of adulthood. And now? I can just throw it away with a little flick of my finger. It doesn't seem real yet, honestly.
For the next week, just like for the pre-op time, my eyes will relax and go back to 'normal' before I go in for my Laser Eyes, and I join the ranks of People Who Don't Need Glasses.
And I'll leave you with these parting words:
Your eyes aren't even real... they're just in your head!
After finally thinking about it for more than two years, I am FINALLY getting Lasik this year! I had my consultation back in March, and because 2023 has been an absolute bitch, it got postponed until fall, mostly because I had to move it to the new fiscal year, to be able to use my FSA money.
The consult back in March was a very basic exam, but the pre-op, which I had done yesterday, was a much more in-depth kind of exam. I had to remove my contacts a week ago, so that my eyes could go back into a natural resting state. I've had to wear some old glasses, which has been frustrating, especially while driving. Reading has been great though... don't need readers!
Hubby came to the pre-op with me, so that he'd hear all the instructions. I did all the tests again, like looking at the red balloon, reading the letters on the wall, getting stared at with that "chin in a strap" machine (that's called a Slit Lamp, apparently... I looked it up later). Doc said that I have a lot of Keratitis Scarring from my years of irresponsible contact lens wearing. Oh, but then....
He asked me how old I was. I said I was 46. He made a little hmmph noise, then asked me if I knew I had a cataract.
I'm sorry, what now? I have a WHAT? You must be mistaken... old people have cataracts. I'm not old. I'm... I'm... middle age!!!
But apparently I'm middle age with a cataract in my left eye. He did a few more tests while I filled out some forms to see if we could get Blue Cross Blue Shield to pay for the surgery (instead of out of my pocket), but after the additional tests, he thought it best that we wait; cataract surgery on someone under 50 could result in retinal detachment. Currently, my cataract is very small, so he suggested we take a wait and see approach - if it gets worse, we fix it. If it doesn't, yay for me. At the end of the exam, he deemed me good to go for Lasik. Awww, yeah, let's go!
So, for now, I can put my contacts back in until the week before my procedure. At that point, I'll need to take them out (forevah!) and use two different types of eye drops to get my eyeballs nice and healthy and juicy and ready to go.
I'm so stoked, I can't wait!!!!!
But until then, I'll leave you with a joke:
After my eye exam, my doctor had a concerned look in his face.
I asked him, "What's wrong?"
He said, "Your test results don't look all that good."
I've worked for my current employer for 13 years, and I never get to go to any out-of-town conferences or trainings or anything like that. Frankly, it made me feel a little undervalued. Other staff were able to go to conferences at least 2-3 times per year, with no one batting an eye, but for me...? It was always like pulling teeth to get permission, or to get money from the budget, so I just stopped even requesting to go anywhere at all.
However, because my boss retired last year, and I assumed some of his duties, that meant that there was one symposium that I had to go to, no matter what! I was stoked. I felt like a grown-ass adult, with a grown-ass job, with grown-ass responsibilities.
And it was at Disney World! Okay, okay, so it was more like Disney-adjacent, but still! It was held at Signia by Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek (ooooh, so fancy!) I brought hubby with me, too, although he didn't have to come to any of the meetings or trainings, of course.
So, we drove down Monday night before it started and got our room (upgraded to a King room, too) and spent the majority of the afternoon chillin' out, unpacking, and trying to decide on dinner.
Going through Google, we discovered a place called Twin Peaks. It looked like a lumberjack-themed Hooters, but it was so kitschy, and this dessert was so amazingly on-point, we just had to go! (Part of the decision also came from the fact that we'd had the giggles for 20 minutes, and weren't making any adult decisions at the moment).
I mean... come on, right?
Needless to say, it was as bad as you'd think it was. I talked myself into an 'appetizer' called "Billionaire's Bacon", which was thick-cut bacon coated in brown sugar, smoked paprika, and chili flakes (it was good, but seriously... $8 for three strips of bacon?), then we split a plate of Mozzarella Cheese Bites (cubes of mozzarella coated in Panko bread crumbs... huh?) and a plate of Chicken Fingers with Fries.
Is it called Billionaire's Bacon because they get rich off of unsuspecting diners?
Were these even fried, or were they baked?
Standard frozen fingers and plain ol' fries
All the food was perfectly fine, nothing stood out, but obviously... the appeal is titties and sports. And frankly, my titties were more spectacular than our servers, poor girl, she tried! (She seemed confused that there was a wife in the building, honestly. I guess that doesn't happen very often.) We were too full for the double-breasted brownie sundae, but ended up stopping at Freddy's... the pull of frozen custard was just too strong to ignore.
Tuesday was a very long day for me, with a huge welcome conference in the morning before breaking for lunch. The plan was to leave the hotel for lunch, but when we got to the parking garage, my tire was flat!
This tire was only about 4 months old, y'all... 2023 strikes again
There was some construction in the parking garage, and I (of course!) had the luck of running over a freakin' nail. With no time to deal with it now, we trudged back to the hotel and headed over to the pool bar for lunch instead. We both ended up ordering from the Kid's Menu (because we weren't all that hungry, we are that cheap, and the waiter didn't give a shit). He had sliders and I had chicken fingers; both meals were delicious and the perfect size.
The rest of the afternoon included more trainings and break-out sessions. I was also developing a pretty gnarly migraine at this point, probably from my lack of caffeine. At the end of the evening, back in our room, we acted like mature adults... and ordered more Kid's Meals via Room Service! I was impressed though, it was still really nicely presented! Our plates were cloched, with real silverware and linen napkins, two goblets of ice water, and condiments came in tiny little bottles or cups. I felt very fancy eating my sub-par hot dog (should've gone with the sliders).
Yes, we are adults who order Hot Dogs from Room Service
It was hot and fresh, I'll give 'em that!
So cute and tiny
The ranch is spectacular
On Wednesday, I was free for the majority of the day, so we slept in, then I called AAA to come fix the tire. Because it is unsafe to drive highway speeds on the spare (donut) tire, we drove over to University Nissan to buy a new tire. They took forever! I think we were there over two hours, for a simple tire install. We'd skipped lunch (stupidly) because we thought it'd be a quick thing. By the time we left, around 5pm, I was ready to eat my own foot! So... bless his heart... Hubby suggested that we go over to Universal City Walk and have an early dinner at Toothsome Chocolate Emporium for dinner. I was up for it, because I was under the assumption that, after 6pm, parking was free at City Walk. And yeah, sometimes it is... But not when it's a Halloween Horror Night night. But since we were already there, we paid the insane $30 parking cost and parked. I can report, ladies and gentlemen, that "Halloween" for young women now means wearing fishnets, slutty outfits, and vintage tee shirts, while sporting brightly colored hair and too much makeup. Eh, I guess that's really what it's always been, I suppose. They all just looked so desperate and uncreative, like this huge crowd of LOOK AT ME girls who would punch anyone who actually, you know, looked at them.
The restaurant was busy, since HHN hadn't started yet. Lots of people who were either waiting to enter HHN, or parkgoers who had been herded out because they didn't have HHN tickets. We got a table on the 2nd floor after about a 10 minute wait. Hubs ordered the Cheddar Bacon burger, and I got the Southern Fried Chicken BLT (without the L or T). Both were delicious, but I think that mine was better.
Cheddar Bacon Burger & Fries
Southern Fried Chicken B(-LT) Sandwich & Fries
For dessert, as if we weren't full enough to begin with, we split a "That's 'Mint'" milkshake featuring Andes mints, shaved chocolate, whipped cream, a chocolate-dipped rim, and a full-size mint chip ice cream sandwich! It was overkill, for sure, but damn, was it delicious!
Plastic spoons and paper straws... $17
We fought over the ice-cream sandwich, which looked like a giant Oreo (it is!) Two big cons to this dessert though (not even counting the $17 price tag); first is that they served it to us with plain, white, plastic spoons, and two, we could keep the souvenir jar, but they had no way to clean it, except to take it to the bathroom and wash it myself. I can only imagine what their pipes must look like after people dump their milkshakes down the drain! I was in there for about 10 minutes, melting the chocolate around the rim until I could rinse it away! Do better, Universal. Back at the hotel, we put on our suits and spent some time in the pool and hot tub, which was heavenly.
Thursday was my last day of the conference, and it was over by lunch time. We checked out of the hotel and went to Jason's Deli for lunch, then drove to our other hotel that we booked separately, so that we could extend this business trip into a long vacation weekend.
Ham & Cheese on White
Massive Lunch-Size Chicken Alfredo Pasta
After a disappointing trip to Aquatica this past spring, we needed to redeem ourselves, so Hubs talked me into going to Typhoon Lagoon tomorrow, to float away the stress of this conference. We popped over to Disney Springs after lunch to pick up a Disney Visa Rewards card, and then swap that for two tickets to the water park at Guest Services (yes, credit card rewards for the win! We got in for 'free.')
Now, we've been to Typhoon Lagoon a few times, and at some point during this visit, I decided that I wanted to do every single {adult} ride they had. I didn't share this with Hubby until I was about halfway through the list, really. We started with a few laps around Castaway Creek, and then some of the rides we knew we loved, like Misadventure Falls and Gangplank Falls (our absolute fave). We did Keelhaul Falls and Mayday Falls, both of which suck, since we have to carry our own tubes up the stairs, but are still fun. We took a break with a few more laps on the lazy river where we just enjoyed each other's company, and I told him that I thought I was pretty close to doing all the rides. We pulled over at Crush'n Gusher so I could ride that (he didn't want to ride), then made our way across the park to the Storm Slides. And then, finally, I spent a few minutes just staring at Humunga Kowabunga. It was all that was standing between me and saying I did all the rides. HK is an "enclosed body slide" that drops at a 60º angle, 214 feet to the bottom. I grit my teeth and started the big climb (sadly, having to stop every little bit because the cardio was killing my lungs!) to the top. I put on my big girl panties, took a shaky breath, and I did it!! I did it!!!
Oooh, and I hated it!
As soon as I started, I got water in my face and I couldn't keep my eyes open, and so I couldn't tell when the end was coming, when to 'brace for impact,' so to speak. It was like hitting a wall, and this huge jet of water shot between my legs, and into the nether regions. I'm so very, very thankful for the little skirt on my bathing suit because I'm pretty sure I had a 180º wedgie from butt to belly! Ironically (or sadly?) just a day prior, there was a story in the New York Post about a woman suing Disney for her "Painful Wedgie" in 2019; she contends that near the end of the ride, she became airborne and as she was slammed downward against the slide, her legs became uncrossed, causing her swimsuit to be painfully forced between her legs and for water to be violently forced inside her." She also claimed to have suffered "severe lacerations, damage to her internal organs, and a hernia." The suit accuses Disney of negligence for not warning riders about the risks, nor did they provide her with "proper protective swimwear." I don't see any follow up to this lawsuit, so my guess is that it was dropped or settled to shut her up. But, man, I can see where she's coming from... that was a painful wedgie!
Feeling accomplished, we took a few victory laps in the lazy river then decided to head out around 4pm to get ahead of the crowds (park closed at 5). We filled our bellies with delicious burgers from Sickies Garage on US-192 then made the long drive home.
I think this was a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger... can't remember!
I'm not sure where the work conference will be next year - they always try to spread it out across the state, so it's fair to everyone - so I hope it's somewhere that I haven't been!
I like to think I'm not easily influenced, but over the past few years, the idea of kayaking has become more and more appealing. An old co-worker got new kayaks for her birthday last year. A lot of the folks on YouTube that I watch often go kayaking, and frankly... I just really wanted to do it. But Hubby isn't a water baby, so I had to find a way to do it on a Me Day.
Enter Labor Day, my birthday weekend. Hubbin would be at work on Labor Day, so why not take a day for me and just do it? If it sucked, it sucked, and I'd never have to do it again. So I began to plan a Me Day. My day looked like this:
Mystery Shop a car wash in Ocala (for $25 plus reimbursement!)
Pick up donuts at Tas-T-O's Donuts
Kayak
Have lunch
Shop
Drive Home
About a week before my day, however, I got a call from my mom and she wanted to visit for my birthday. So I invited her to come kayaking. She wasn't up for that (she is elderly), but was okay with meeting for lunch afterward.
So Monday morning, I took hubby to work, picked up a Sausage Biscuit for the road and made my way to Ocala. When I got to the car wash I was assigned to Mystery Shop, the car wash was broken! So that was a waste of time (still got paid, though!) that I could have spent getting delicious donuts. By the time I got over to Tas-T-O's (at about 9am), the majority of their case was empty!
Pickin's are pretty slim at this point
What a full window looks like at 5am
I chatted up a few locals who told me that if you don't get there by 7 or 8am, all the good stuff is gone. I was able to score a cake donut, and it was heavenly. A great crumb, the right texture, and oodles of glaze on the outside. I definitely want to hit up this place again (but when in the world will I be there at 7am?)
From there, I drove over to Silver Springs, and my date with a kayak. I had reserved a Sit-On Kayak for an hour for about $35 after fees and taxes. I had to also pay park entrance to Silver Springs State Park ($5). Once I signed a waiver, I gave them my car keys to secure my kayak. I was given a lanyard with safety instructions. I picked up a life vest (not required to wear but to have on-board) as well as a paddle, and then I got my kayak at the launch.
Holy moly, it was busy! I was in line to check-in for probably 20 minutes, the whole time I'm looking around at what had to be Church Van levels of crowds. So many teenagers! The launch area was clogged with teenagers who had already gotten in the water and were waiting for their friends; the check-in area was clogged with teenagers who didn't know their friends were already in the water! Eventually they all figured it out, and I took a few extra minutes to let the crowds disperse, because frankly... I didn't want to look stupid getting in to my kayak! I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing, and the fewer bystanders to see me flounder, the better.
It was awkward to get in and as soon as I sat down, a gush of cold spring water hit my ass and flooded the kayak; apparently these types of kayaks had a little 'overflow' valve or something in the bottom of the boat, and I was immediately drenched. The entire seating area of the kayak was under 2-3 inches of water! The staff member said that this was normal and not to worry. I wasn't worried, per se, but I was damn sure glad that I had the forethought to put all of my gear in a drybag!
Anyway, I pushed off, using the paddling techniques I'd learned yesterday, via 10 minutes of YouTube videos, then kind of 'pulled off to the side' to settle myself a bit. I wanted to pull out my GoPro and set it up, but there was nowhere to clip it, so I had to jerry-rig a way to hold it up via a selfie stick (I should have brought the chest harness, really).
Once I was all situated, I got back out on the paddling trail and just... drifted. With no crowds around me now, it was peaceful and quiet. Birds chirping. Small splashes from fish and turtles. Once in a while someone else would pass me, gliding through the water. I can totally understand why people like this so much! I was in heaven. I love the natural parts of Florida, especially the interior portions (sorry, Beaches, you're not the best part of the state!). Deep, thick, green woody areas with clear blue springs... it's heaven!
After a little bit (no idea how long), I came to the end of the Fort King Waterway, and onto the actual Silver River. Now, Florida had just been hit by Hurricane Idalia, as a Category 3, near the Big Bend area. I don't know if that had anything to do with this or not... but DAMN! The current on the Silver River was much more than I was expecting. Also, I admit that I didn't do my due diligence and get familiar with the map and the paddling route... See, when I came out of the FKW, there were tons of people on the river! Canoes, kayaks, stand-up paddleboards, everywhere. It looked like people were coming out of a break in the bank on the other side of the river. So I just assumed that I had to cross the river to get over there. Well, as you can imagine, the current in the middle of the river was very, very fast (okay, maybe I overexaggerate, but it wasn't the slow and sensuous drift I'd just left). I had to put a lot of oomph in to it! And every time I stopped to take a break, I felt like I was just sliding further downstream. But finally, I made it all the way over to the other side!
And wouldn't you know it... I didn't need to be over here! All of the other people I'd been in the vicinity of while paddling the FKW was staying on the left side of the river, happily making their way upstream... What was I doing over here? So, I pumped my way back across the river. My arms are just dying at this point, as well as my lungs. Also, for some reason, I thought that I'd only need to be on the river for maybe 5 minutes (again, didn't look at the silly map), so it felt like the river just kept going and going! I definitely wasn't prepared for how long I was going to need to paddle as hard as I did.
Thankfully, I made it to the actual Silver Spring without losing myself to the current, and I slipped back into the FKW to return to the launch. I originally wanted to spend more time paddling around the springs area, but by this time, my 1-hour return time was coming up, and I didn't want to get penalized for returning it late (and having to pay extra!) My paddle back wasn't nearly as relaxing because as you got past the boardwalk that crossed over the waterway, you ran into the people who were going out toward the springs, and felt like rush-hour traffic. Everyone coming back in, like me, was instructed to kind of queue up as much as possible, to allow for new people to launch out. I kept getting bonked by a father/son canoe who proceeded to give me dirty looks every time it happened! As we sat there, I saw that one of the employees had cleared the launch-in point, and was waving us over. Well, since I wasn't lying down in my boat (like both of them were) and I was actually paying attention to what was going on, I was able to paddle over there quickly and get out. They saw me going and shot me the nastiest look, but who cares!
Getting out was a thoroughly awkward experience, though! I was at an incline, since it was a boat ramp, and I just couldn't get my feet under me, so the employee gave me a hand to help me out, and bless his heart, I almost pulled him in with me! But I was able to get my legs under me finally, and I hopped out, thanking him for his assistance, of course! I headed back to the check-in desk to swap out my lanyard for my car keys, then dripped my way to my car. Once there, I changed clothes and headed to Long John Silver's for lunch with Mom and my aunt. We'd agreed to meet at 12pm, but when I got there a bit late, I didn't see their car. So I parked and texted her that I was there. And waited. And waited! After 20 minutes or so, I began to worry, so I texted again, but no response. About 10 minutes later, I look up to see my aunt walking toward me... They parked on the other side if the building after I'd already parked, and for some reason, she didn't get any of my texts, nor did I get any of hers! So they'd been here for probably 45 minutes waiting for me! We enjoyed our uber-greasy fish and shrimp and chicken as I told them about my trip, both of them wistfully saying gee, I wish I could do that, and me saying well, why the hell can't you? You're only as old as you act! (It's been 6 months since that discussion, and both are still in the I wish stage, no matter how many times I suggest we all go do it... sigh.)
After lunch, the two of them headed out for some quality Thrift Shop Hoppin' while I needed to get on the road and head home to pick up hubby. On the way there, I stopped to pick up some groceries, as well as my birthday cake.
So.... Let's take stock of how I'm feeling today.
My body doesn't hurt nearly as much as I was expecting. Kayaking is really an ab-focused sport more than an arm-focused sport, so I definitely felt some fatigue there. A bit tired in my arms, too. But all in all, I felt wonderful! I certainly didn't feel like a 46-year old woman who just spent all morning kayaking!
I now totally understand why people love kayaking (as a relaxing sport, not a crazy "wild water rapid" sport). It's like taking a walk in the woods, but on water. It's chill. It's beautiful. It's relaxing. You get to experience nature from a different perspective.
I'm so ready to do it again! Maybe next time I'll plan to do an entire day! I'll launch from the same place, and then go all the way down the river to Ray Wayside Park (they'll shuttle me back to the parking lot). I think that's only $55 or something... totally affordable for a full day trip! If I can swing it (and the weather cooperates), maybe I'll aim for the warmer end of winter (like February or March) in hopes of spotting Florida Manatees living their best mermaid lives in the river.
And I'll leave a lot earlier so I have a fighting chance to get some of those donuts, too!
