The Wetter, the Better - LASIK and the Following Days

I think something went wrong during my laser eye surgery… 

I can see just fine but I can’t figure out how to shoot the lasers

I kid, of course. Let's back up. 

On Tuesday, I scheduled a Lyft to take us to Eye Associates, as well as scheduling a pizza delivery for Wednesday night (I didn't know how I'd feel afterward and I certainly wasn't gonna cook!) I set my watch alarm for 5:30am, but didn't sleep well; I was too wound up. Both of us were fully awake and ready to go by 6:30am. I ate a little bit of breakfast, as instructed (so the Xanax didn't irritate my stomach), and dressed in a comfy outfit (leggings, oversized hoodie, and sneakers). Our Lyft driver showed up early and we arrived at Eye Associates before they were even officially open!

...but so ready!

What other socks would be as appropriate?

Once inside, I officially paid for my procedure, with a single credit-card swipe for $3,360 (oof, that hurt) then tried to sit calmly in the lobby. As painful as it was to make that payment, I had to remind myself that it covered the pre-op, procedure, and four follow-up visits, as well as amazing customer service by everyone involved). Oh, and because I used a credit card with rewards, I earned $33 in rewards (and I'll use my FSA to pay back the credit card). 

$2,880 paid via FSA (installments via paycheck)      $480 "Out of Pocket" Paid

I got called back around 7:15am, where a very calm and reassuring nurse covered my hair with a cap and put some paper booties on my feet. She washed my orbital/eye area (eyebrows to upper cheeks) and gave me to "magic pills" (which I assume was the Xanax, but I don't know the dose). I was left on a slightly uncomfortable stretcher for about a half-hour while I chilled out to let the Xanax kick in. 

No stray hairs allowed!

Booties over Keds - all the kids are wearing it this way

The nurses came back to check on me a few times. At one point, Dr. W came by and put some Naphcon-A drops in my eyes; it's not something that everyone needs, but he was worried about bleeding during the procedure, so better safe than sorry!). They also gave me the numbing drops at this point. He asked if I was nervous, and I said yeah, but I'm not trying to think about it, so they gave me another pill (uh... okay!) Weirdly, I never felt my eyes go numb. I guess because you don't feel your eyes to begin with, you wouldn't feel them go numb, either...

Maybe five minutes after this, they walked me into the Lasik room. I remember that it was big, but all I could focus on was the actual bed/machine. The room was large (seemed too large, really) and there were different pieces of furniture or tables in the room (like surgical stuff), but all I could focus on was this smaller than I was expecting but still huge bed. Flat as hell, with a C-shaped apparatus at the head of the table. I was instructed to lay on the bed with my head under the C-arm. I was given a bolster to put under my knees to help with back strain, and then they began to move the bed to get me centered under the lasers and lights. I kept wanting to tip my head back and raise my chin, but Dr. W kept telling me to tuck my chin down (yeah, double-chin!). Eventually with the help of an additional little pillow, they got me where I needed to be. 

There was one nurse to the right of me who was narrating the entire thing for me, telling me what to do, which was great - it eliminated any surprises that might startle me. As we began, all I had to do was just look at the green dot in the C-arm. They taped my left eye closed and then put a patch over it to keep it moist, and ensure that I wouldn't see anything or have the urge to blink. On my right eye, Dr. W had me look up toward my forehead so that he could use a super-secure sticker-type thing to hold my eyelid open. Then I looked down toward my chin so he could pull my bottom lid down. Once the two lids were open wide, he inserted a spreader that rested on the stickers and tightened it to keep my eye open wide (imagine A Clockwork Orange, but with less violence). As I sat there with my eyeball out to the world, they used ample amounts of irrigation solution (sterile water) to keep my eyeball moist. 

If you get squeamish about eyeball stuff, you might want to just scroll on down until you get to the funny Cat video down there... I'm going to be as detailed as possible! Ready? Ready. Let's keep going. 

Click for More Info

The C-arm above my head had eight bright white lights, two red dots (which I assumed were the actual lasers), and a green light. My entire job for the next 15 minutes was to stare at this green light, unless Dr. W told me to do otherwise. It was cool as hell, too... I was seeing lots of weird shapes and bad-ass fucking fractals (though to be fair... I may have been tripping out because of the Xanax). As I stared at the green light, I was told that I was going to feel some pressure. This was the part I was most worried about, because I didn't know how much pressure I'd feel, and I was worried that it would cause a migraine once this was all over (it didn't). And honestly, it wasn't much more pressure than what you'd feel when you rub your eyes after a long day. The pressure came from an instrument that I envisioned to look like a cup on a stick, with the cup... well, cupping my eye. This instrument is what was cutting a flap on the surface of my eyeball. As they put it on, they said that my vision would begin to disappear and yeah, it totally did! My field of vision started to shrink, from the outside in, like an old-school TV that was turning off, until there was just a super-tiny pinpoint left. I could see vague shadows for a minute, but eventually that disappeared too. It was weird as hell to see vague shadows in your vision when you know your eye is wide open, and kind of trippy, too. 

Once the flap was created, there was some quiet buzzing, which was the laser, then a burning smell! They may have told me, or I might have assumed, but I'm pretty sure the smell was the laser actually reshaping my cornea (I just googled it, and apparently it wasn't burning anything; the smell was the chemical reaction from the reshaping). With the cornea reshaped, my flap was put back, and I could begin to see the lights again, and went right back to staring at the green light. Dr. W shone a light sideways across the surface of my eye to ensure that the flap had seated correctly. When he was satisfied with the flap location, he started brushing my eye with something white. My brain imagined a tiny silicone spatula frosting a cake. The nurse didn't narrate this part, but I'm assuming that they're kind of smoothing the flap back down so it can begin to reattach and heal. The whole time that he was stroking my eyeball, he was squirting more drops into my eye and then timing it (I remember him asking a nurse for the time at one point). Then he'd repeat the process - wipe, drops, wipe, drops, wipe, drops. Once he finished the wiping and dropping, that eye was done! They proceeded to repeat the process on the left eye (spread it, cut the flap, laser the eye, wipe/drop/wipe, done). Seriously, that was soooo much easier than I was expecting! (I found out later, that in between eyes, someone was nice enough to go out to the lobby to let Hubby know that they'd finished one eye already and were moving on to the next). 

When both eyes were done, and released from the Clockwork Orange spreaders, they sat me up and walked me over to the Split Lamp machine (where you put your chin in it) so he could get a good close-up look at his handiwork. He said that everything looked great, then took me next door to a recovery room while a nurse when to get Hubby. Dr. W said that there were no issues, everything went well, and left us with the nurse, who gave us my post-op instructions. I was instructed to go home and sleep (yes, please) and wear a pair of goggles at all times for the next 24 hours, even when sleeping and around the house. Also, don't rub my eyes (hard to do in goggles), use the prescription drops every two hours, and just rest my eyes as much as possible. I was scheduled to come back the following morning for the first of four follow-up visits. 

I have never felt sexier than this moment

The entire event, from getting there that morning, to getting in the Lyft to go home, was under three hours. The surgery itself was probably ten minutes per eye. Maybe fifteen. 

Welcome back! Let's continue. 

When we got home, I crawled back into bed, as instructed, and at first, I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep; 1) because the goggles suck, and 2) my brain was going a mile a minute. But next thing I knew, it was noon, Hubby was waking me up to check on me, and encourage me to do my eye drops. I went back to sleep for another hour or so, but finally had to drag my ass out of bed at 2pm. Seriously... the BEST sleep I've had in YEARS... I totally understand why people like Xanax now! 

Anyway, out of bed, I just futzed around the rest of the day (still in my super-sexy goggles, of course!). I sat on my ass and watched stupid stuff on YouTube and surfed the internet. I ate pizza for dinner and cake for dessert, watched silly TV, and passed out HARD by 9:30. 

So, this cake is masterful...
Not only does it have the Googly Eyes and funny eye puns, but also...
the writing is pink, like Pink Eye!

The following morning, I was able to drive us over to the office. I was still seeing some stars and haloes around headlights, but was later assured that these should go away in a month or so. They tested my vision again and said it was 20/20-2 (this means that I missed 2 out of 5 letters on the 20/20 vision line). Dr. W checked my eyes again with the Slit Lamp machine and said that everything was looking exactly like it should. I will need to continue my eyedrops for the next week, wear the googles while I sleep for the next week, and refrain from anything that would strain my yes (like pooping too hard or weightlifting, but I was given the okay to participate in the Carry Forward 5k this weekend). I was given a paper to carry in my car, in case I have an encounter with law enforcement who inquires about the "corrective lenses" endorsement on my driver's license. Eventually, I'll need to change that with the DHSMV, but I'll do that when my license is due for renewal in a few years. On the way home, I picked up a bagel from a local bakery and a big ass soda from Circle K. I spent the rest of the day dropping my eyes, trying not to touch my eyes, and zoning out to YouTube (I'm so bored!) I got some laundry done too, taking advantage of the time away from work. On Saturday, I did the Carry Forward 5k in Jax, and besides one bout of dry eyes, I had no issues. 

During the week after the procedure, I've been putting drops in my eyes four times a day, plus using a preservative-free type of eye drop called iVizia to combat dryness, which is a major issue after Lasik. I've definitely noticed an increase in dryness as I get further away from the surgery. 

But... let's talk about these goggles. They suck. They SUCK. I know they're needed, and I understand why they're needed. But they put pressure on my face in a way that instantly triggers headaches for me. And in an attempt to avoid that pressure, I am apparently sleeping in weird positions that put strain on my neck, which - you guessed it - triggers headaches. I've been dealing with constant headaches for the last three days thanks to these things. Also, because my eyes are trying to get used to their new normal, they feel very tired. Imagine a camera that has auto-focus, how it goes in and out of focus constantly trying to get a clear picture... that's what I feel my eyes are doing, and it's tiring. And headache-inducing, lol. 

At my one-week follow up yesterday, we did all the testing again, and I was told that I was looking excellent. I stated that I felt like my vision got a little worse, and Dr. W stated that it might be because of dryness... If eyes feel dry, they've been dry. So I should increase my use of eye drops - the wetter, the better, he said! I don't have to use the prescription drops anymore, nor the goggles (thank God), and I can start wearing eye makeup again, like mascara. It's also safe to allow water near my eyes, such as washing my face or showering. No swimming for quite a while! 

I'll go back after Thanksgiving for my one-month follow up, and then in early March for my three-month (and final) follow up. I've been advised that whatever vision I have in March will be what I have forever. The stars and haloes should clear up, but may not go away completely. I'll still need readers, but I've been rocking those for years already anyway. 

So, the verdict? Am I happy that I did this? ABSOLUTELY. It's only been a few weeks and I have the same vision I had with my contacts, but none of the bullshit problems I had with those. Every day I feel like my vision is getting incrementally better. I'll see something and think, could I see that the day before? or was that sign always there? I'm hopeful that my night vision improves, but I've had stars and haloes for so long, I don't think I'd know what to do without them, lol!

And lastly, I'm wildly happy that I chose to stay local and go with Eye Associates of Gainesville! Everyone at EAoG knows my name and took care of both me AND Hubby while we were there. There were no coupons or sales, but for the price I paid, the service and quality cannot be beat. I'd recommend EAoG to anyone in the blink of an eye. #NotSponsored, I promise. They're just that good! 

I'll leave you with a few more jokes, including the one I told everyone at the doctor's office while I was loopy on Xanax!

 

Where do rabbits get their eyes checked?
--At the HOPtometrist! 

What do you call a clumsy ophthalmologist?
--An Eye Dropper!