Total Eclipse Vacation: Day 2 (That's Not a Fort!)

Yesterday was a long travel day and even though we were exhausted, we only slept okay, because the bed was harder than we prefer. As I laid there, I began to realize that I might have gotten whatever cold Hubby has... I had a sore throat, I was kind of phlegmy, but nothing was coming out when I tried to cough or "suck it out" (you know what I mean). My whole body hurt, but was that due to being sick, a stiff bed, flying in comfortable seats, or all three? 

We were up for good around 8am, and while Hubby was feeling better, he wasn't up for a full day in St. Louis (plus it was really too late, since it was a 4-hour drive from here to there anyway). We moved some things around on the itinerary and decided to explore Fort Defiance, Cairo, and then have lunch in Sikeston. 

People who live in the area are laughing, I'm sure, at the idea of exploring Fort Defiance and Cairo, but I had a reason for wanting to go... Many years ago, I read a book called The Rift by Walter Jon Williams. Written in 1999, it's a fictional story about a devastating 8.9 earthquake along the New Madrid Fault, and what happens to civilization in the Mississippi area of Illinois to the Gulf in the aftermath. While the majority of the plot focuses on two people, there are multiple plot lines that knit together to form an amazing story - a preacher who believes this is End Times; a Klansman sheriff who begins a program of genocide; a nuclear power plant technician struggling to keep the plant from melting down; and an Army Corp of Engineers trying to put everything back together. In the beginning of the story, before the earthquake happens, we learn about young Jason, who is miserable in his new home of Cairo, Illinois. It was supposedly a boring, run-down, desolate place. And for some odd reason, I got a vision in my head of what Cairo looked like, and when I saw that we were going to be in the area, I wanted to go see what it looked like. And as for Fort Defiance? I'm a sucker for a historical fort, it stands at the confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers, and damned if I didn't want to stick my feet in that water! 

So I drank some OJ and downed a full bottle of water, then we headed out to get donuts at Shipley Do-Nuts (with a side quest to McDonald's for sausage biscuits, The Official Breakfast of Adventures™). The employee at Shipley was super-nice! We told him that we'd never been there before and he looked at us like we had two heads. He said that we should definitely come back on another day, but much earlier when there's a much bigger variety of donuts. We picked out two glazed donuts, a blueberry cake, and a white cream Long John (éclair, bar, whatever you call it). The glazed was chewy and perfect, but not a lot of flavor. I saved my long john for later in the day. 

I set Garmin to take us to Fort Defiance, still set to avoid highways (I hate Interstate driving) again. And again, instead of only avoiding interstates, it avoided basically everything... it took us down tiny country roads and farm roads between fields... it took three hours to get near where we wanted to go, and as we passed Interstate 57, there was a huge sign that said the bridge to Illinois was closed, and we should take I-57 to US-51 instead. I said heck no, and continued down the road we were on. I don't know what I was expecting, honestly... I think I was hoping that Fort Defiance would be before the closure, but no dice. When we got to US-62 and Levee Road, the road was completely blocked (and mostly gone!) So we turned around and went the other way (luckily, the countryside was beautiful and traffic was non-existent, lol). 

Womp, Womp

We hopped on I-57 to US-51 (like we should have done in the first place), then drove south through Cairo and wow... this was NOT what I envisioned in my head... It wasn't just a tiny, sleepy town; it was a Dead Town. According to Wikipedia, Cairo was once a busy river boat town, on the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers. As a river port, it was eventually bypassed by transportation changes to avoid the large expanses of low-lying land, wetland, and water. It's population peaked in the 1920s (at 15,203 people) but by 2020, the population fell 89%, with a mere 1,733 people. Some of this population loss may also have been due to the Mississippi River Floods in 2011, after the Ohio River rose over 80 feet, and there was the possibility of over 15 feet in Cairo itself. Currently, the community and region are working to stop the abandonment of the city. They are restoring some architectural landmarks, and plan to develop heritage tourism to focus on the city's history and relationship with the two rivers. 

Random StreetView from Google, in Cairo's "Historic District"

Once past Cairo - and before the other side of the bridge closure - was Fort Defiance State Park. We drove down, braved the chilly, blustery day, and found this tiny, sad, little tugboat-looking building... Wait? Where's the fort? This isn't a FORT! (Later research on Great River Road states that there used to be a fort there, but it's gone now; in its place is the Boatman's Memorial, installed by the Youth Conservation Corps). This writer at the Chicago Tribune had a lot to say about it when he visited in 2021- it sums up everything we saw, I 100% agree with all of his observations! Illinois Historic Preservation Agency inherited this park from the DOC in 2019, even though that specific piece of land had no actual historical significance; an employee said it was like handing them a garbage dump to manage. It's a scenic spot and could be a very nice city park, but it's not historic, and they aren't given any maintenance funds at all to operate the park, so it's been left neglected over the years. The city of Cairo didn't want it, so that left IHPA stuck footing the bill for simple tasks like cutting the grass, maintaining the simple road, or even removing garbage. 

You can see the two different rivers, and the small memorial in the foreground

We found a trashed and graffitied two-story tower that overlooked the two rivers, with a small memorial placard in front of it. 

Observation Tower, I suppose?

There were no beautiful waterfront trails or railings; instead there were tons of broken rocks and chunks of concrete and washed-up driftwood; my hopes of getting a foot in the water was dashed (though honestly, it was very cold, so the thought taking my warm foot out of my warm shoe and touching that water didn't sound refreshing anyway). 

At some point, there were some steps here, I think

I took some photos, went as far down toward the water as possible, picked up a few rocks to bring home, and then we went back to the car. That was it... that was what we drove 3 hours to see. None of this was awesome... 

Our next stop (with "avoid highways" now turned OFF) was Lambert's, over in Sikeston. Once inside, I realized that this was, like, a whole thing... It was loud, there were employees going up and down the rows of tables with Dutch ovens full of food... Hubby wasn't happy with the menu - he said it was too Southern for him, and after really looking at it, it was too Southern for me too. It didn't seem to be the same menu that I looked up on line. We honestly should have just left, but we settled (I think he thought that I really wanted to eat here, so he kept quiet, bless his heart). He ordered a burger with a side of cottage cheese - there wasn't even an option to order French fries! How can you not have fries? I got a half-rack of ribs with mashed potatoes and a baked potato. Servers came by with rolls - though they didn't throw them at us, which is what they're famous for - and yes, those were fresh, hot, delicious, and smelled like elementary school cafeterias. The servers with Dutch ovens had "pass arounds" of fried okra, fried potatoes & onions, apple butter, and molasses (we passed up on all of that). 

I could have eaten a dozen of these (and regretted it later!)

His burger was sad as hell, with no cheese or condiments or anything, and reminded me of the Where's the Beef commercial. 

My ribs were tough, with a fakey-fake smoky flavor. The sauce looked like it was brushed on right before it was put on the plate; no caramelizing or gooiness at all. The baked potato was tiny and plain, with one package of sour cream, while the mash was chunky but institutional, and served with powder mix gravy. 

The only saving grace of this place (besides the rolls), was that they served big-ass sodas in old-school insulated mugs, like what you used to buy at Circle K in the 80s. Hubby was very grumpy and didn't eat much of his meal at all; he said it was bland and he couldn't taste any of it... it just had no flavor! I agreed - everything tasted like the volume was turned down 50%. 

Back in the car, we headed home, defeated. This was a day where Adventure didn't pan out to something cool; it was just a shitty day of too much driving with a sad payoff, a pathetic dinner that cost way too much for what we got, and to top it off... I'm pretty sure I've gotten whatever Hubby has. My face is so full of sinus pressure, I can't breathe out of my nose, it just sucks!!! Back at the house (many hours later), we both ended up eating chips and Little Debbie snacks for dinner. We talked about the itinerary and decided that tomorrow, we both felt fine enough to finally head north to St. Louis. I can't wait to finally go up in the Gateway Arch!