Well, Maybe There's a *Little* More Time?

We must have an Energizer cat, you guys… She just kept on keepin’ on!

For the past few days, she’s been the Queen of the Castle, curled up on her warm blanket by the window, just existing. For the most part, her breathing is the same, but if she tries to groom or rearrange, she’ll get tired and out of breath easily, which means she ends up gasping for air because  she can’t keep up. 

We’ve been able to snuggle with her a few times, and it’s so hard to feel her this way. She’s so bony and skinny. She’s so lethargic and weak. She’s a shell of the bright and energetic cat she was just a few months ago. 

Over the weekend, I told Hubby that I didn’t even want to do anything for Christmas; no lights or tree or anything like that, and he talked me into it, because Clover has always loved the lights and the candles and how magical the house was this time of year. So our tiny tree is out, and some of the candles, and he was absolutely right to talk me into this. Since I put the tree up, Clover spends the majority of her time facing the tree. It kind of makes everything feel normal, both for her and for us, and we’ve been spending a lot of time in the living room with her, just reading or zoning out. She deserves to be surrounded by love and family, instead of dying slowly alone while we chill in our own individual spaces staring at a computer. 

Last night, we began taking her to bed with us; we put a cozy blanket up on the headboard that will keep her scrawny body warm and comfortable, and she’s content to watch over us and protect us, as best she can, while we sleep. 

I don’t know how much more time she has, but I have my doubts that she will make it to the weekend (it's currently Wednesday, December 11th). Her breathing has become much more labored. She’s not eating. She’s not drinking. She’s simply existing at this point. We’ve begun telling her that she’s brave, and that she doesn’t have to fight, and that she can go, and I’m hopeful that she understands what that means, and goes soon… watching her struggle is breaking my heart.