I always thought "Empty Nesters" were old people! Of course, growing up, the only people who I knew were Empty Nesters were, well, old people. And, of course, this guy:
So, how in the world can two parents in their 40s be Empty Nesters?
Two weeks ago, our only kiddo flew the coop, left the nest, hit the road, moved away. If you missed that grand adventure, look here for all the links.
I think that Hubby and I taking time to adventure had a huge part in helping us get used to it. We were sad when The Kiddo said she was leaving, and the sadness got worse as the goodbyes got closer. But her needing assistance with her move gave us something to focus on, rather than just time to dwell on losing her in our daily lives.
And when we finally got her moved into her new apartment, we were able to see where she was going to live, and who she was going to live with, and what her new town looked like, and it was a relief. I felt like she was going off into some unknown great, wide somewhere... until I saw her somewhere. It grounded me and gave my mind somewhere to focus. Does that make sense?
I would have felt at peace with that knowledge, if we'd chosen to fly home, or drive directly home. Knowing my baby (yes, my 23-year-old baby) was safe in her new surroundings would have been enough for me. But our extra eight-day adventure helped to put a period at the end of a sentence. Returning the moving truck was the end of one part of our lives. And starting a long road trip in a new vehicle, going to places we'd never been, was the beginning of a new part. A more adventurous part. A part where I didn't have to be Mom - I could be Me. And he could be He, instead of Dad. And more importantly, we could be We, two people who loved and married each other oh so many years ago, back before we were known as Mom and Dad. We were Husband and Wife again, and it was time to turn a page.
It's definitely going to take some getting used to. As parents, we all base our lives around our children; their needs, their wants, their dreams. Big things like spending money, and little things like what to cook for dinner... parents always make these decisions based on their children. This part hasn't really kicked in yet (we've only been home a few days as I write this). But I can feel her absence in the house. It's quieter. It's a little emptier. The cat is heartbroken... she stares at the door, and then at us, wondering where The Kiddo has gone. She sleeps in her room at night, curled up in the bedclothes, because they still smell like her. I don't have the heart to wash them yet!
And me? Well, I'm proud. I miss her terribly, but I'm so happy she is off on her own and doing what she wants to do with her life. I won't say that I miss running her to and from work, or dealing with a cranky-pants kid, or the weird smells that came from her room (seriously, why are kids so smelly?), but I miss her smile, and her laugh, and the energy that she brought to the space.
So, a melancholy ending to our grand Wisconsin Adventure series, perhaps, but it's a true and heartfelt one. As a 44-year old mother of one, I am now a 44-year old mother of one Adult Child who lives Somewhere Else. And I'm okay with that.
Bring on more adventures!
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